L~O~V~E~B~O~X


The Complete Collected Works


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vincent Sargenti


 

 

Beauty Queen

Spring 1977

(Vini's 1st song)


Woke up to a sunny day
The blue sky seemed to fade away
To grey...to grey.

The hours of my life I live in pain
Tears fall from my eyes like rain
Ooh, rain...it must be rain.

Beauty Queen, oh, Beauty Queen
You are the princess of my dreams
A gallant knight
I shall ride
'Til I bring you safely...to my side.

Thinking how it used to be
Close to her and her to me
But I know that this can never be
She must be free...free...


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

A SONG

Spring 1977

(Vini's 2nd song)



I'll sit right down and write a song
A song for you and me
I'll write a love song
Lovely as can be
And if these words I write for you
Cannot be read quite clear
You'll know
The paper
Has been rained on by my tears.

The song goes on
They're all the same
To most but not to me
A song is but to hear
As well as see
You'll float away in endless time
On a lofty melody
A song is but to hear
As well as see.

This song you hear will never end
It knows no length or time
It floats away and with it floats
Your mind
Whenever my life gets me down
And I feel that I can't stay
Well, I just climb into a song
And fly away.



Sung To ("More Than A Feeling")

Spring 1977

Spanish I


I woke up this morning
And my HoHo was gone
I needed to eat it
To start my day
So I just had a Twinkie
And it turned me on
Now I'm Twinkie to stay.

Oh, it was more than a Twinkie
More than a DingDong
My head is full of cream filling
My homework's never done.

So many Twinkies have come and gone
The cake goes to my tummy
The cream to my head
The party, she's over
For Eduardo y Juan
Elena es triste
Maria is dead.

I woke this morning and
Had a DingDong
And then had a Twinkie to
Start my day
I dream of a Twinkie I used to know
I opened the package and it slipped away.



 

 

 
 

Untitled

Autumn 1977

Stupid freshman


In the land of sea
In the heat of snow
By the way
I gotta go.

In the feel of the sun
By the way of the moon
In touch with zacurus
I'm out of tune.

In crankin' sea wavin'
In bodies of mass
In oodles of gravy
Of mushroom tree pass.

I am a mammaliod
As pure as is driven.
A stone in the haze
Of a mind overidden

I seek a new credit
Of granite and stone
And find nothing through it
I still stand alone.

I've been of a plant
Of goblins and flight
Yet cosmic rays
Take me at night.

For seeing the sun rise
And watching it set
I have but a moment
To dry from my sweat.

Untitled

Summer of 1977



Let me tell you a story
'Bout a girl I met today
She said she really loved me
And then she ran away.

I gave her my heart
And gave her my love
I gave her everything I had
But she took it and she ran
And she left me to stand
For a singer in a rock-n-roll band.

I lost my lover to a rock-n-roll singer
She was very special to me
But she was 16 and he was 23
And I was only 15.

I guess I wasn't what she really wanted anyway
I guess she wasn't my kind
I thought it was love.
Love, but I guess it really wasn't
I gotta try to put it out of my mind.

She came to me on a sunny day
It looked real good but then
The sky turned grey
I gave her all I had but
Then she ran away
Oh, Kris, why couldn't ya stay?

It's over now, but at least for awhile
But you know I'll be here to stay
But if he hurts you, Kris
You know I'll always be here
We can get it together some day.



Untitled October 1977



There's a drug that I take
That turns my brain to cake
And burns me up inside
And when I feel my brains collide
But when I feel the pain that's burning me insane
It's time to take a look around
And stop...

Hey, what do you know
I can go anywhere I've wanted to go
I can feel the coolness of a misty autumn rain
I can't go back 'cause it brings me
Pain, oh, pain...

There's my dad, he's such a sleuth
He thinks that I'm uncouth
But little does he know
Of the places that I go
When he gets on my case
I just travel out to space.
 
 
 
 

Untitled Early 1978



I came upon a house of black
On a cold and windy night
The shape of the house was strange to see
I sensed something was not right

I felt a need to go inside
To see this eerie place
So as I did I felt a hand
Come crashing through my face.

When I came to life again I saw
An old man robed in red
With a pointed hood that covered his face
He said "Soon I will be dead."

So he bowed his head in silent prayer
Dagger raised in hand
With one swift move he spun around
In his chest did the dagger land.

I don't know, it was awfully weird
But what was I to do
The poor old guy just lay there bleeding
'cause the dagger ran him through.



Untitled Early 1978



Feelings so lost and disillusioned
Miles of life to travel through sorry destitution
Many, many mountains
With cloud hidden peaks
Lie waiting to be climbed.

Down on my face in the cold of morning
Dying slowly in sorrow; no happiness dawning
Get up and start over
Though I already know, tears
Lie waiting for me...anyway.

No matter how hard I try, I still seem to go under
My entire world's been torn asunder
It makes me sit in far(c)off wonder
Tears...
Lie waiting for me.

Tears lie waiting for me
Fall and burn
The pages of my life have turned
And so I've learned
To keep on pushin' through.


Untitled Early 1978


Listen, everybody
There's a girl I met today
She says she plays piano
So she's in my band to stay

She's a long lovely woman
With silky, long blonde hair
She took me to her studio
And I knew it then and there.


WELCOME (GO DAU HA)

February 1978

(Poem for Rory's Engligh assignment)


With the river blue and the treeline green
And more damn VC than you've ever seen
Learn the river and learn it well
You're taking our place in this part of hell

This is war, my friend, and you soon will learn
It's: kill, or be killed and blood does burn
When you're trapped in a field
Commie guns all around
Huddled in fox hole
Six feet under ground.

So, man your tanks and clean your guns
You're riding down the river with the rise
Of the sun
Deep into hell on the river of blood
Then crawl like a nigger through the
Bullets and mud.

Stale, stiff dead friends lying in the river
The sick smell of cold blood in the freezing Winter.

You're a hero on a mission
40,000 feet high
All controls are perfect
Them Damn Viet Cong soon will die.

You'll kill a million children
And more people just like me.
But feel no pain about it
The price of being free.




HAVING YOU HERE

March 1978
For Terri Ritter (Who later became an Adult-Film Actress.)


I would climb any mountain
I would swim any sea
I would cross any desert
To have you here alone with me.

And I would wander forever
To feel the warmth in your smile
And it would all be well worth it
For you I'd walk one hundred miles.

Having you here beside me
Having you here at all
Having you here is like a dream
Come true
Heaven has answered my call.

The rain falls hard outside my window
An autumn day turns into night
The fire glows in the fireplace
Having you here makes things alright.


Untitled March 1978


The last day of my life
Has come
I know not what to do
I can feel the blackness coming
Down
My being will cease
My thoughts released
As I enter a plane
Of eternal peace.

Oh, won't you please
Stick that needle
In my arm
I just need one more shot
Before I'm sent to the farm
And if you'd meet me
At that Haight-Ashbury in
The sky
We will shoot forever,
Take speed, and fry.


TALKING TREES 3/78


Hot damn, what a weekend!
I partied all night long
Endless kegs of Michelob
Partied 'til they were gone.

Man, you wouldn't believe
What kind of buzz I had
I tell you, I was wasted!
I drank and smoked myself mad.

We partied 'til the sun came up
Snortin', smokin', jokin'
Then I ate some pieces of paper
Oh, fuck! Was I floating!

The sky began to turn fluorescent
The walls began to breathe
The world was so confusing
I loved the talking trees.

Little plasma spaceships
And watching the grass flow
But I just kept on partying
A buzz not many know.





Untitled 4/78


When the legend dies,
The man lives on...
In quiet desolation
And thoughts...
He seeks to be young
And remembers he won
At a game we call life.
But he lost...
When the legend dies,
When it dies...

When the legend dies
He feels the pain
And crys out in
Suffering and sorrow
He weeps through the years.
But nobody hears.
An eternity filled
By tomorrows
When the legend dies,
When it dies...

When the legend dies
He seeks a new dawn
But his horizon is far
In the distance,
But dawn shall not come
His life is soon done
His thoughts he perceives
Are oblivious
When the legend dies,
When it dies...

When the legend died,
He took his life.
His humility
Too much to bear.
He died an old man.
With a gun in his hand
But littled did he know
In cared.
When the legend dies,
When it dies...






4/78



Driving down the highways
Of the memories in her mind
Looking back on years gone by
And friends she'd left behind
But no one knew, not even me,
The problems she would find
When all at once
She suddenly was blind.

Skiing down the mountains
The Tetons of her thoughts
The horror grows, loneliness shows
In her world she sits and rots
She finds escape by thinking back
To when she was a tot
No one was near
Her goals were never sought.

Though the days in lonely ways
Were wasted in my eyes
To her: were spent.





SAVE THE CHILDREN 4/78


If we could wipe away the tears
Of yesterday's fallen sorrows.
We could start a new beginning
And build our new tomorrows.
If we could only find The Heart
In everything we do,
I'm sure this world could last
Another century
Or two...

The end is coming near
I feel it dawning in the East.
This world could simply self-destruct
Through man's nucleaic beast
Our knowledge grown too great to harness.
Intelligence run wild,
We've got to save our children
Think with our hearts
And not
Our minds...

Our lives are on the table now.
The odds four billion to one.
There is no place that we can hide
No place on Earth to run.
We must forget what we have learned
And bury man's intellectual beast
Before it buries
All of us...
At least.


ROCK-N-ROLL MACHINE April 1978


Hey, everybody, do you know what I mean
I got the loudest mutherfuckin' rock-n-rollin' machine
I got big huge amps to put your head in between
This is the most outrageous show I've ever seen.

I got mutherfucker songs that will kick your ass
And we play 'em loud enough to shatterfuckingglass
I got songs that slow down and show my class
So let's go on a ride that will far
Surpass...

Any rock-n-roller coaster ride you've ever been on before.






REBIRTH OF A... April 1978


Death, I no longer fear you
I see no death in my life
My fear has grasped my misunderstanding
I shall not count
My days.

Life, I no longer see you
As what I must live to be
Now the leaves of eternal serenity
Lead on to
New horizons.

And on this quest of so called Life
No man has come to bear
The smell of rain
On a field of flowers.
What peace may I find there

The road of ruts and rocks
Will not stand as a barrier
But I will always surge through
To find a peace
Within.





WINDSONG April 1978
(With Dave Stevens)

She stood on the dock
As my ship sailed away
And the wind sang songs
Of yesterdays...Love

I felt an emptiness
Deep inside
And a shattered heart
That I tried to hide...from love.

Windsong...
Turn the windmills of my mind
Windsong.

Wind blows and I must go
But I'll find a way
To dock my sailing ship
Back in your bay
To walk beside you as the tide rolls in
To sing you a Windsong
As the sun sets in the sea...
Again.

She stood on the dock
As my ship sailed in
And the wind sang songs of love
Again.
Windsong.




5/78


Disillusioned mongoloids
Stumble through their stupor
Without knowing that they're slower
Slower than me or you are.



A QUICKIE 5/78


It's hard to write a poem
It's hard to write a song
It's hard to be a movie star
It's hard to make a bong.

It's hard to be a dumbshit
And only see the blatant
When all the others see everything
And you just stand their fellating.




Untitled May 1978


Alive in triumph.
Brave evil has been slain
He quickly ran
I killed the man
He shall not rise again.

The demon was repulsive
I'd vomit at his sight
Grotesque in smell
He reeked like hell
In evil he'd delight

A duel to me he offered
Oh, evil one, you'll cry
A lance he bore
And how he swore
As I watched him slowly die.

This land shall bring forth dynasties
And nurture gallant knights
The love of good
Forever stood
In her defense we shall fight.
Untitled May 1978


The sky can be blue
But life without you is grey
Time goes fast
But a minute can last for a day
I hope someday soon
We can worship the moon
And the sky be blue again
And you'll sing me a song
As we walk arm in arm
On crisp cool summer days.


Maybe If I Could Just Hold You

Summer 1978



Maybe, if I could just hold you
I'd feel complete again.
'Cause when you're gone,
There's something wrong
That I don't understand.

Maybe, if I could just see you
For only a little while
You're all I need
To set me free
Oh, just to see you smile.

Oh, darling, how I miss you
It seems like it's been ages
Since I've kissed you.
If you could know
If you could see
If only you could be with me
And maybe if I could just hold you
For awhile.

Maybe if I could just touch you
And know you're next to me
Two galaxies colliding
Two eagles slowly gliding
Whoa, I never knew what love could mean.

'Cause the starlight in your eyes
Can make me feel the way you do
The starlight in your eyes
Can make me cry...
Like when I look into your eyes
And you look softly into mine
I know our love will last
For quite awhile.

Maybe, if I could just tell you
Exactly how I feel
I need your touch
I love you so much
Girl, it's so unreal.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Soft, White Angel

Summer 1978

2:00 a.m. Durango, Colo.



Would you mind if I sang you a song?
It's short and sweet and it won't take long.

I was cold and lonely
Thought my life was done.
Spent my days just playin' guitar
'Cause I didn't love anyone.

I was sick, I was sad, I was lonely
In the darkness of the night
'Til a soft, white angel came my way
And Lord, she changed my life.

She smiled at me and made me laugh
And how she warmed my soul
My days were spent just loving her
My nights no longer cold.

She's my soft, white angel
She's my friend.
She'll be my lover until
The very end...of time.

Soft, white angel, came my way and filled me full of joy
Soft, white angel loved me like
No one ever did before
Soft, white angel came my way and brightened up
My life
Thank you, God, for sending me a
A soft, white angel wife.


Untitled

11/78


Father, this one's for you
I'd like to thank you for what you've done
You've given me love and understanding
And I'm proud to be your son.

Father, we've been through hell
But every time you've pulled us through
There is no way to repay the love you gave
So father, this one's for you.



Me And My Guitar

11/78


When I play my guitar
I feel a peace of mind
Bad thoughts evade me
I leave yesterday behind
Dont' know what comes over me
But it takes my mind away
Far, Far away.

My thoughts begin to wander
As my guitar plays the tune
I'll be in Colorado soon
My body's aching
For a Rocky Mountain High
Think I'll climb on my guitar
And fly...

Someday I'll stop to ponder
Who I really am
But for now who really cares...

The snow falls on the village
As the winter sun goes down
That's my Colorado town
My guitar takes me
Anywhere I want to go
Me and my guitar are friends
Ya know?

FRIENDS


2/79


A friend,
Someone special
Who loves you
'Til the end
Who knows your bads,
Your goods, your sads,
And doesn't give a damn
About all the times you had to cry
"Please don't keep it all inside
I want to help to dry your eyes;
You can tell me all your lies;
Tell me I'm your friend."

A friend
Someone caring
Who needs you
Just the same
Who asks advice
Who treats you nice
And you know that they're there.
Whenever you need a helping hand
"Help me up; I cannot stand;
I've been hurt by an evil man;
Help me, I'm your friend."

A friend
Just for loving
Who desires
Only you
Who loves your ways
And spends their days
Dreaming of loving you
And when your day is finally over
Run quickly home to meet your lover
Then lead her gently under covers
Love me, I'm your friend.



GOIN' TO HOLLYWOOD Summer 1979


When I was just a boy
I said to my daddy,
"Don't ya know I'm gonna go far."
I said, "I'm packin' my bags for Hollywood
Gonna be a rock-n-roll star."

He said, "Son, I've seen millions like you
Don't ya know that's what they all say."
I said, "Daddy, I'm goin' to Hollywood
Gonna be big someday."

Parents say I've got to go to school
"Get a job." Work hard for my pay.
Don't want to travel on a path with no heart, now.
Music and Love is the only way.

Don't want to go down on a path with no heart, no!
Gotta make mine the one that shines
Don't bring me down with your bad news
Goin' to Hollywood with starlight on my mind.

Got a dream and it's etched upon my mind.
Goin' to Hollywood to see what I can find
It's o.k. if I don't become real big
Just let me play music
That some good people can dig.

Sometimes my parents are no help to me
Lots of times they help me get the equipment I need
When they put me down, I say, "Can't you see,
The first requirement on this path is:
You got to believe..."




BEVERLY July 1979


Beverly, I love you
More then anybody ever could
Beverly, I need you
More than anybody ever would.

I'd lay down my life for you
You know how I care for you
I'd give you all a man could
Have to give.
for a smile...

Beverly, my angel,
You're a Christmass gift in spring
I couldn't live without you
So much happiness you bring.

I'd die on a cross for you
You know how much I care for you
I'd give you all a man could
Have to give
for a smile...


NO COUNT BLUES August 2, 1979


12:34 in the afternoon
All alone in my bedroom
Only one thought fills my aching head
Dreams of you lyin' in bed,
And my action ain't what it used to be.

1:00 in the evening
All the lights are out but one
I'm gonna go inside and love you
Until I see the sun
But my action ain't what it used to be.

Well you see it goes this way
Every now and then
Well you see I got them no count blues
Again...
And my action ain't what it used to be.

I can't find the reasons
Why I feel this way
You see my mind is torn
And I got them no count blues again...
And action ain't what it used to be.


Untitled Summer 1979


I sat the day away
And played guitar
I sang of love
And love I've lost.

In the quiet of the morning
In the darkness of the night
You fill my heart with warmth and love
You make me feel alright

When I met you I was lonely
And for only you I cared
Oh girl, don't ever leave me
My love to you I've sweared.

It's hard for me to tell ya
How much I really care
But I know you know it anyway
Words we don't need to share.


Untitled Summer 1979


It was a golden autumn morning
The air, the rain did freshen
I packed my guitar
In its case
And left for my audition.

Upon arriving at the studio,
We commenced to play
After about three tunes or so
I could see
I was being blown away.

The bassist was a friend of mine
he had to leave for awhile
He left me alone
With his drummer
And this guy had some style.

He was a guy who became my friend.
I saw him once, then never again.
We played all day
And it sounded o.k.
When the darkness came
I watched him walk away.


IN YOUR LOVE 8-2-79


Time goes by and feel myself getting weaker
Time goes by and feel myself getting lost
In your love...
In your love...

The summer sun fades into winter
The carefree days of love fade into night
In your love... In your love...
In your love... In your love...

Everything I have to give, I give to you
Everything, and never question why.


AN ALL NIGHTER 9/79


Lay down and surrender
Let me take you down
Drowning in emotion
Feel the ecstasy endless, ever turning
Longing feeling burning in your body ever yearning.

If you need my lightning rod
Please create a storm
When two clouds crash together
In the evening, can't hold back anymore
Gotta let my groove thing go in your tunnel of love.

Feeling disappointed
Gotta go again
Please bend over rover
Continuing relentlessly until the morning fall
Gotta go until it hurts finally rubbing raw.

And after all the ecstasy
Feeling so relieved
Twice as in love as just before
Morning comes and I must go
Kissing goodbye for hours on end, then finally I leave.




10/79


Fall quietly the leaves of the hallows
Gather in the gloom of night
The darkness hides
The final stage
The ugly wrath of the gallows.

Sadly, remember the eve of uncertainty
When the misty light glare from my knife
Her long blonde hair
The youth in her eyes
Burned and slashed of virginity.

And though at the first glimpse of morning
My soul be severed from life
My blood run cold
For the early crowd
My death to serve as a warning

Wind blowing names through the hallows
Leaves as days blow by unnoticed
Terrifying cold
Two hours before death
In the lonely shadows of the gallows.




WINDY WEDNESDAY MORNING October 1979


Lying in bed as the morning breaks
Whistling wind sings through the trees
Fully rested and wondering
What this day will bring.

Leaves blow gently down the neighborhood streets
Sun quietly shines in my eyes.
Feeling the drawning magic
Of a windy Wednesday morn.

My little house and a white picket fence
With wind blowing songs through her trees
Is all in life that I need
To rest my bones and raise my kids
On a windy Wednesday morn.

Taking a shower from a wooden bucket
The coffee brews on the stove
The smell of autumn breezes
On a windy Wednesday morn.

Sunlight beams down through the valley
As my lovely wife hands me a towel
Then we sit down to breakfast
On a windy Wednesday morn.

On with my coat, then a kiss good-bye
Autumn leaves blow 'cross the yard
Off to earn my living
On a windy Wednesday morn.


Untitled October 1979


I've a hard time
Climbing the winding road
No answers shown
Oh, the questions known.

I'm just a small man
The wind has blown
Across life's sea
That's drowning me.

When problems get so big
That my horror just can't subside
Hopelessness sets in
As I hang my head to cry.


Untitled October 1979


City after city
Mile after mile
The life of a young man's
Gotta be hard for awhile
But what do you think that
Does to me
When I can't be what you
Want me to be
And you feel bad 'cause I never see you at all.

Well, I get tired
And you get sad
And when things just don't look too good
They just keep lookin' bad.


Untitled 11/79


I found my
Girlfriend
In the backseat arms
Of another man

I pulled my
Sixgun
Said, "Who the hell do you think
You're puttin' on?"

Hearts break as
Bullets fly
Ya' best be coolin' it
Jealousy can make you die.


DREAMS November 1979


When I go to sleep at night
My head begins to swirl
My mind begins to wander
And fly to other worlds
Worlds of future
Worlds of past
Days of blue sky, fields of grass
And nowhere lies destiny for me.

When I go to sleep at night
I feel no pain at all
There's nothing holding me back
From breaking down these walls
Over the walls
And far away
In quiet pastures children play
And nowhere lies destiny for me.

You can't keep me forever
You always sleep, it seems
I can always get away
In the worlds of my dreams.

When I go to sleep at night
The dawn begins to break
I jump into my world of peace
Somewhere out in space
So much more
Than meets the eye
In worlds of dream forever fly
And nowhere lies destiny for me.




Untitled January 1, 1980


Once there was a place
Where rivers ran clear
Once there was a land
Of elk, hound and deer
Their world was so timeless
Not one lonely soul.
Their minds were at ease
They just let life flow.

They burdened not others
With their problems or toil
They earned what they had
They tilled their own soil.
They stole not from others
Let every man be
Life was so fine
So right, so free.

Then some worked together
To build great horizons
To ease from themselves
Life's storms arising
Their troubles, they varied
Yet problems were few.
They lived and they prospered
They turned old to new.









February 7,1980

Today I didn't see you
I didn't see you at all
Unknowingly I stare blindly at the wall
I miss you
I long to see your face, your smile
And kiss you
Your perfumed fragrance
Weighs heavy on my mind
Yet in time
Maybe we could meet as if a rhyme
Two hearts beating together
Yet in separation
Could not falter the feelings of those who care
They know when they return
That person will still be there
A spiral weave of two...
Sharing what time is possible
With you
For your attention is my highest goal
Achieved by reaching within your soul
To entertain you with myself
Forget the world
Put aggravations on a shelf
A separate space
Where we can be ourselves
For awhile...




Untitled Spring 1980


Distant relatives from places so far away
Come to stay
In our house
"You're sleeping on the couch!"
Who can they be
These goblins from the outer-world
Eating our food and sleeping in our beds
Putting pressure on our heads
"And we don't need it;
I wish they'd beat it!"

Distant Muthas of insanity
Blaze a trail to show humanity
How overwhelming life's intensities
Can very really be.


Untitled May 1980


Tonight
Somebody's gonna meet somebody
They're gonna know for the rest of their life
Somebody like a you
Somebody like a me.

But after it's all over
The inner flame burns out
It hurts inside
But you can't retrace your path in time
It can never be the same
You can only hold it's memories
However bright they are
They'll never heal the scar
So just play the guitar.


WHERE THE HORIZON MEETS THE SKY May 1980


Deep below the dream line
A different world is known
A world no longer physical
A realm that seems so mystical;
Yet something seems to happen
When I fall to rest
Deep below the surface
Of my waking consciousness.

Events are always taking place
In this other inner-world.
Everything is all complete
Yet I'm not in the driver's seat.
My thoughts control what happens
I'm helpless, I confess
When I slip below the line
Of waking consciousness.

And some dreams are so beautiful
You never want to leave;
They want to carry pleasure
To a somewhat drastic measure
And you feel a loss when you wake up
And you wish you could regress
Back below the surface
Of this waking consciousness.





Untitled July 28, 1980


You say, "you always miss me!"
And I feel so cold when you kiss me
When I talk, there's nobody there
When I cry, you don't even care.
This isn't getting us anywhere
I feel the beginning of the end.

I always feel so alone now
I'm dying to see you, but somehow
When I stand right before you
It seems like I bore you
Like "I'd rather ignore you."
And I miss you, but you don't even care.

It used to be easy to say I love you
And I wonder sometimes if I do.
Sometimes I feel that I hate you
When you don't feel the way I do
But love has an ending
When there is misunderstanding
And we've both learned valuable lessons
So leave me alone
Be as cold as a stone
And see how much longer I miss you!


Untitled Summer 1980


She's a lady
Give her room
And treat her right
Dont' ask for too much
Or hold her tight.

She has her own way
And her own special needs
With a heart so big
You would not even believe.

She's so gentle
And she dresses so fine
She loves with such emotion
It would blow your mind.

She's a lady
She'll take control of your heart
You'll never understand her
She's an unmastered art
With a life of her own.

She's a lady
She knows how to treat her man
Lord knows, for you,
She would do anything she can

You know when to believe her
And you know when she's lyin'
You can see it in her eyes.


Untitled August 1980


Tears,
Dampening the eyes
Of your child-like face.
Fears,
Stamping out the flame
That waits to light your path.
Wrath,
That you feel within
Is only mixed up energy
That's waiting to be transformed
Into compassion.

9/80
I wish I knew someone
That I could tell everthing
And know that they cared

I wish I knew somebody
Who needed someone like me
To know that I cared.

Someone to spend time with
To talk quietly and be myself with
To know them as they know me
To get lost in the warmth of her love.

I don't like being alone
But I guess sometimes you have to
In order to learn about yourself
What you couldn't learn before.

The corners of my heart are empty now
Waiting for a special smile
From a loving girl
With a soothing touch
To love me for awhile...

And if I had a chance
For love to come my way
I'd give all I had to give
In hope that it would stay

I've written all kinds of poems and songs
I've drawn the oceans fair
I'll try to be the kind of person
For whom someone else will care

Oh, to be happy
Oh, to be sad
Now, to be lonely
Someday, to be glad
And maybe, I'm wrong
But maybe, I'm right
What used to be love
Can end in a fight
How lovely to feel it come
Oh, so painful to see it go
The love that used to warm your heart
Leaves you freezing in the snow
But my heart still feels a glow because
Deep down I know
That a sweeter love will come
A little further down the road.

CLONES Fall 1980


All around me are clones
Who talk on phones
Searching files
All the while
Dreaming of being at home
Watching T.V.

They all look the same
Playing their nine-to-five game
White collars and ties
Are their favorite highs
And soon they'll be at home
Watching T.V.

And in the evening, their day well done
They go home and watch the news
Beside themselves is themselves
With which they do with what they choose
We just go through life
Glued to a sonic tube
We don't condone your silly wild world
We just sit in somber mood.

And inside their heads a thought
One which they were taught
Not one that they created
But thoughts so masqueraded
As if
To actually make them believe
That they are truths
Oh, but they must be
They heard them on the news.






KILOVER 10-80


Distant echoes in the night
Darken mist of scattered light
Invisibly hiding out of sight
He waits to see you unaware

In his silence no one knows he's there
He creeps unseen through sullen air
To kill young lovers by the pair
Whene'er they walk alone
Whene'er they walk alone

Two young lives together sewn
A friendship over months had grown
But there's no way they could have known
As they strolled into romantic scenery

Then suddenly from amongst the greenery
The wailing knash of death's machinery
Calls the end to lovers' dreamery
Two Hearts that cry
Lie bleeing
In the glow...

The warmth of love, his only hate
Wherever lovers congregate
He'll be there
To despumate
Behind a threatening curtain of darkness

Kilover once loved a girl
She was the most beautiful girl in the world
She swore to love him to the end
But ran away with his best friend
Now he kills lovers to avenge
His deeply saddened heart.




NOVEMBER 1980

Hello, do you know me?
I'm the person who hides within
Behind a mask of smiles
While others drift by peacefully
There is love inside of me
For those who wish to find it




LEAVING BEHIND 11-80

Two ships pass each other by
In the evening tide
The sun sets down on another day
Of your endless ride

When you've lived most of your life
Docked in one bay
You find it hard
To cut the ropes
And sail away

But you hear your name
In a distant wind
Telling you it's time to move on again
Leaving behind...
A world you've come to know
Just to sail with wind
Wherever she may blow

Like clouds drifting by
In the western sky
Your ship sails on
Day after day
Year after year
Remember you're always welcome here
Friendships are born
As friendships die
Leave me with a smile
To remember you by





THE QUEEN OF NORTHERN OATSAPIA November 1980


The queen of Northern Oatsapia
Was bound and determined to have sex
She found a crystal ball
And on young Jamie she put a hex.

Jamie was young, about 17.
And had no intention of fucking
The queen.
But the hex fell upon him
And to the castle he ran
Because his sex glands were
Feeding him the Juices of Man.

He walked to the moat
And over the bridge
And under the queen's hex
Walked straight to her chambers
And took off his cambers
And was completely prepared for sex.

She thought how happy she was
Which a queen not often does
And enjoyed the young man's body
Even though it was a bit naughty.

So you'd better watch out
For the queen of Northern Oatsapia
'Cause she's bound and determined
To rape ya'
And on you she'll put a hex
Whenever she wants sex.


Untitled Winter 1980


Your world as you saw it
No longer exists
The promise of the
American dream
Has become an ancient myth
Your happiness
Must be found
In a world of your creating
No longer
Can we save a dollar
That keeps devaluating.

Please, please,
Please, open your eyes.

Please, please,
Please, open your minds.

I've seen
No one prepare
Live in despair
The streets of my home
Become bare.

They rule
All of the earth
Control you from birth
Tax all that has worth
And now we must suffer
Our lot.


THE TEARS THAT BURN 12-80

...And as this endless world turns
It's always hard to find
The love that you've come
To count on
Has left you behind

The echoes of the memories
Locked inside your heart
Ignite the tears that burn
In pain
The life of which she was part

Although you can't relieve the scar
You just live on to find
Love will always come and go
Leave yesterday behind

Love can be as beautiful
As a misty autumn rain
But when you give your heart away
It always ends in pain.





THE TRILOGY: I. TRANSPORTATION SYSTEMS August 1980

In the beginning God created man. God gave man the power
To do all kinds of things, but He didn't tell man this because
He wanted to see what different men would do with these powers.
So God sat back and let man take care of His earth and He watched
Them develop their knowledge and powers to surprising levels.
And God just watched.

Transportation Systems
Maze my weary mind
Man can travel anywhere
In small amounts of time
Travel slow
Or travel fast
Cruise the seas
Or railway tracks
Anywhere and anyhow
For a price!!!

You can spend your every dollar
And own a private care
Or tarvel by the buses
However late they are
To get from here
And end up there
The nameless faces
Won't even care
If you meet your destination
Late on time.

Though the endless miles of vastness yet untamed
Have not been forgotten nor too archaic to be named
They've all been traveled to, all been sought
All been seen by man, most of it's been bought
Bought by Bureaus of Travel
Vacation excitement
Tame the wild
Fly 'round trip
Save fiftypercent.

So many means
By which to go
Desert, highway, sea, or snow
Fly or ride
Walk or glide
Some seem like
Sheer suicide
But then again...
Breathing isn't that safe anymore either
Thanks to transportation
A means by which to ruin a planet.


THE TRILOGY: II. NUCLEAR FRANKENSTEIN August 1980

So many people are fighting
Hostages are dying
Because some rich man wants to drive his cars
And run his factories
But there's nothing we can do
Nothing we can say
To change these Men of Power's thoughts in any way.

We'll have to go to war (to war)
And most of us will die
All our little hopes and dreams
Blown into the sky.

But why? (Why?)

I just can't understand
What could bring a living soul
To kill another man!!
God damn! Can't you see?!
What your ignorance is doing to me?

You kill my friends
You rape my wife
Have you no value for human life?
Now that's not enough
You think you're really rough
With your nuclear reactions
And all that fancy stuff.

Well, let me say one thing
Before you blow my life away
Yours is of no more value than mine
You've created a nuclear frankenstein
And all your children will lie there dying
While you count your money.

Please see me through your confusion
And find a peace within
See all the beautiful things in life
And again we will begin...
And again we will begin...


THE TRILOGY: III. ONE LAST HOPE August 1980


Quiet streetlights
Rustling leaves
Crickets' distant sounds
The quietness of neighborhoods
As evening settles down.

Endless laughter
Ever after
Happiness' shining gleam
So sad to say
It's blown away
Like some awakened dream.

Too many faces on our earth
To give our race a new rebirth
So I guess they'll drop the bomb
But I hope a few live on
To start a happy freedom
Of love and trust
And faith in men,
Not countries,
States,
Or kingdoms...


Untitled October 1980


Operator,
Dial this number for me
Please
I'm so broken up
And the tears cloud my eyes
And I can't even see
Ya see, my baby is gone
And I can't go on.
I just need to get her on the line
It's so cold on your own
All alone by the phone.
Could you please try her one more time.


SEX TO ME December 1980
(To Karen)

Sex to me
Is taking time
Enjoying one another
Slowly, softly,
Passion builds
As you caress each other.
Tender moments
Touch your soul
As eyes light
Hearts a fire
Tossing, turning
Ecstasy
Excitement and desire
Reaching in
Reaching out
Each with love and care
Showing each other
New depths of joy
In the friendship
That you share
All of the sudden
The sky caves in
The earth begins to rock
Gasp and scream
As you cry out
With each thrust of his cock
Blasting off
As if a dream
The sweat a streaming flow
Every muscle tightens
Completely letting go...


Untitled December 1980


Innovative Intellectuals
Create awaiting dreams for you and me
When the early sun is rising
In the sea
Living out what was once thought
As an impossibility
They find the
Pleasure of accomplishment a true
Exhilaration (and a rush)
So they study frantically
Never learning enough
And one day becoming one
With the universe.


Untitled December 1980


Someday I hope I can take you
Where we can be all alone
Where my feelings for you can be shown
And time pass us by
You and I.

Somedays I dream about holding you
Because my world seems so dark
I wish we were walking through a park
And time slip away
In endless play.

Someday...

Oh, how you move me
When I watch you walk away
You nearly kill me
With the things that you say
When you come over to talk to me
You really make my day
Why don't you and I
Get away...Someday.

Someday, I know, I can have you
But the time just has to be right
So we can make love all night
And time will drift by
You and I.


Untitled December 1980


Little boy Billy went traveling one day
To see what he could see
With daddy and mommy he rose through the sunset
To a new reality.

He didn't know one day
He's fly to the moon
When the stars of June sang gently
The flight of the bumble bee
Still sounds so good to me
Al, the world should know its beauty.


UNTO THE FINAL HOUR Dec. 17, 1980


Keep a candle lit
For the human race
Burn bright
Unto the final hour
That God may find it
In his grace
For peace to overpower.

And in the bleakest shadows
Of stained glass halls
Behind grey, almighty walls
Men of little wisdom
Plot destruction
On us all
Preparing their children to answer
And eagerly await the call
Of war...

At last we must together bind
To bring attention, that we may find
No poverty, no murder there
No hungry, No wars to bare
Among the streets
People who care
That we all may be
Alive and Free.

But in this time of Desperation
It is not always so easy
Who will be the victor
We shall see...
We shall see...



Untitled January 1981


She's tall and dark and beautiful
And her legs wrap around you twice
And, oh Lord, when she looks at me
I feel a chill go through my spine
Just like ice.

Her hair is brown and long, it's so long
And bewildering but her eyes, oh they
Blow me away; when I see her
Walking by, I just don't know
What to say.

Listen to me raving
But so great this seems to be
A wedding is in order very soon for me
Listen to the children singing
Listen to the wind in your hair
Happiness is getting married
Knowing you care enough
To always be there.

Silly Saturdays gently singing
Songs with my guitar
In the park the river glistens
Alone together as we are.

Da Da Da do Da Da Do Da Da Dee
I want you forever to be with me
How happy you make life
And when you're around
I'm just the happiest boy in town.


Untitled January 1981


All is meant to be
Nothing is meant to be
Only you can open doors
Only you hold the key.

Anything can happen
If you'd only try
Instead of hanging your heads
In frustration
Asking yourself why.

Why me?
Why not?
You let most things happen to yourself.
You have to make the good things happen
They don't just happen by themselves.

Go ahead and do it.
Turn your world around.
Happiness lies inside you
Just waiting to be found.



THE DEPTHS OF PHANTASMAGORIA

Darknass falls
On castle walls
Swollen storm clouds drifting by
Through barren trees
Blows winters breeze
As another autumn dies.

The knights prepare
To do their share c
Earn honor for their King.
They've been hailed to find
They left behind
Magic golden rings.

At morning's dawn
Sir Arthur rides on
Deep into the forest to Northern lands,
Where evil besets
And time forgets
Nature's unforgiving demands.

The Northern hills
Send frightening chills
Through the hearts of men who
have trespassed.
A wicked wizard's grounds
Controlling all that surrounds,
Black magic his sacred craft.

On jagged rocks
Where no man dare walk,
Lies the wizard's castle black.
Midnight sounds the bell
Releasing the depths of hell c
No mortal man has ever come back.


Sir Arthur knows
The direction he chose
May be one from which he may
never return.
But he believes the rings
Cause the evil doings
And to retrieve them the King's
honor he would earn.

Now other knights
Had other sights
Of where they thought the rings
to be.
Some went east,
Encountering dragons and beasts.
To go north would be considered
Insanity.

But Arthur did not care.
He knew he would find them there,
And his heart told him he would
be back,
The rings on his hands
And honor from his land
Would be his when he slayed
the Wizard of Black.

The forest grew more ominous
As he travelled through the
Darkness.
Little light shown through the
branches of the trees.
Evil creatures
Death's beseechers
Lurked all around him in the
shadows like disease.


Arthur stopped at a stream
Just to rest, but fell to dream,
And as he slept, three giant
spiders began to attack.
As they cast their deadly web
He awoke with a weary head,
Drew his sword and began to
fight back.

One spider tried to grab him
But cast a web instead.
Arthur dove to dodge it
Then cut off the spider's head.

He turned and slashed the other ones,
A spinning, screaming flash,
Stabbing, slicing, black blood hypnotizing,
As he slew the second with a gash.

He fell in fright
Too tired to fight,
The third one wounded bad
Ran off for its life
Because Arthur's knife
Was the worst thing it ever had had.

Arthur just couldn't believe it,
His mind just couldn't conceive it,
He cried as the spiders still bled.
He gaped in surprise
Not believing his eyes c
His favorite horse hanging dead in a web.

He shouldered his packs
Upon his back
And continued his journey to the wizard's.
Climbing through hills
Ignoring the chills
Until he was caught in a life killing blizzard.


Too cold to bear
Arthur hopelessly stared,
Feeling too close to death to save.
As he lay down to die
From the corner of his eye
Just above him he saw the shelter of a cave.

With the last of his powers
He struggled for hours
Through the waist-high depths of the snow.
And finally arrived
At the cave and contrived
A bed of hay to which he would immediately go.

And in his dreams
Were placid scenes
Of summer's warmth and laughter,
Where lovely ladies
With hair of daisies
Kept him warm forever after;

Awakening wheezing
Almost half sick from freezing
There came sparkles from the
center of the cave.

The sparkles of fire
So warm with desire,
The warmth that would keep
him from his grave.

Into the cave he journeyed deeper,
Like a mountain growing steeper,
He picked up speed as he ran
toward the light.
But he soon found he was deceived
It was not what he'd conceived c
Now a fire-breathing dragon
was his plight.


It hurled its flames upon him.
Arthur jumped behind a rock.
The flames burst all around him
This besiegement was a shock.

He cast his knife
To take its life
But heard it strike a rock.
He quickley raced
To a safer place
Then the dragon began to talk.

"Who are you
And what do you do?
What brings you to my cave?
Is it my treasure
That is your pleasure,
You coldly-hearted knave?"

"It's not your treasure
That is my pleasure.
I seek shelter from the storm.
I've come inside
From the storm to hide
Because your cavern is clean and warm.

"Well, in this case
I give you my grace.
But how am I to know that
you're not lying?"
Arthur walked before him
As if to implore him.
"Becuase if you are, you will
end up dying."

Arthur bowed
And said aloud
How sorry he was to upset him.
And that its treasure
Was not his pleasure
And he would leave now and he
could forget him.


Arthur then drew his sword
And with all his might
Cut off the dragons' foot.
The dragon fell to his side
"You deceiver, you've lied!
You will die by my fire and soot."

But Arthur ignored
These words that it spoke
And slid his sword
Through the dragon's throat.

And as it died
It screamed and cried,
Burning, hissing and fire.
As Arthur walked away
He could still hear it say
"You deceived me; you are a liar."

He walked around
The cave and found
That it was huge and to his liking.
Bubbling hot springs
Among other things
He also found quite striking.

"I'm warm!" he cried
From the fireside,
"And I slew the dragon strong.
When the storm subsides
I'll take my strides
To get back where I belong."

The storm peeled away
Leaving a beautiful, sunny day.
Arthur continued north at
rapid measure,
Leaving behind
Out of sight but not out of mind,
He would return to regain the
dragon's treasure.


Down the hills on skis
That he had cut from trees
And in climbing he would tie on
pine tree branches.
The further he went northerer
Made him more frightened of the sorcerer,
But he knew he would have to make his stance.

He knew the wizard's ways
Could leave him dying in the haze,
This he thought as he reached
the Northern slope.
He faltered with his voice
But he had made his choice c
The Black Castle now much
closer than he's hoped.

As he came down from the mountains
And out from under trees,
He could see the mighty Castle
And his heart began to seize.

It stood almighty in the distance,
Perched high on cliffs of black.
Ice cold shivers ran through Arthur's heart.
Now there was no turning back.


IN SEARCH OF THE NORM

PREFACE: In case you weren't one of the precious and few people allowed to read "The
Depths of Phantasmagoria," found in the pages of last month's issue of the Eagle Eye, let
me tell you a little bit about what is going on. As darkness falls on castle walls, the Great
King Oryan hailed his knights to find the long-lost Magic Golden Rings, and he let it be
known that none should return without them. So the nine Knights of Oryan hailed his
knights to find the long lost Magic Golden Rings, and he let it be known that none
should return without them. So the nine Knights of Oryan each chose a direction in
which they would travel to search for the Rings. Sir Ionian and Sir Dorian chose to go
south, as they were the least brave and the south held sunlight and plentiful harvests. Sir
Phrygian and Sir Locrian chose to go east and brave the dragons and beasts, figuring that
one of the Dragons might have them in his treasure (dragons love treasure). The two
Knights, Sir Lydian and Sir Mixolydian, Brothers of the Cloth, went west to fight the
natural wonders (high mountains and snow, earthquakes, volcanos, geysers, bears,
Bigfoots, and what have yous) to find the Rings there. none of the Knights,
however, chose to go north because of evil lands and wicked wizards that had plagued
this direction for time immeasurable. But the bravest of all the Knights, Sir Arthur, knew
the Rings were in the north, and he was willing to risk all to get them safely returned to
his Master.

This is where the first part of our story began Arthur's journey. A journey into the
evil, unforgiving lands of the north, to the Black Hills of the north, and of course, right to
the Wicked Wizard's Castle, where Arthur believes the Rings to be. The second part of
our story? Well, you'll just have to read on to find what's in store for your imagination.

As Arthur looked across the cold, grey darkness of the Valley (even in the daylight, the
area was still cast in the dark shadows of ugly, foreboding clouds), he could see the
Wizard's Castle standing powerfully in the distance and the massive walls that
surrounded it. It looked so deathly evil, clinging against the jagged Black Cliffs of the
Northern Hills that Arthur just shuddered at the sight of it (and Arthur doesn't shudder
very easily you will soon see, he is a very bold mn). Behind the towering walls are
hundreds of people who have been captured by the Sorcerer and his Winged Knights of
Delirium, and placed under all sorts of various kinds of charms, spells, and other
not so friendly things like that so the Wizard may writhe in the ecstasy of the sinister
rituals he creates.


Beneath bruised, forgotten skies
Dampened dreams, unheard cries,
Tortured screams that echo endlessly through the night.

In the highest tower burning bright,
Black candles yielding gifts of light
The light that darkens, the light of evil power

Kneeling silently in the tower
A daily devotion, his prayer hour
The Wizard worships his candles,
The source of his masterful might.

Punishing innocent victims, unreasoning kills,
Magical insanity drives the devices he builds.
He illusively toys with their minds
As they await their inevitable time
Awaiting unwanted, unheard of, unbearable games.

Into the night
The screams never ended.
No uglier sight was ever pretended.

Arthur became so enraged by the pain in the screams
The anger inside him makes him stronger and strong it seems.
He runs like a thief through the night
To put an end to this bizarre delight
An end to this evil, a beginning to beauty and light.

Once at the rocks
He climbs like a serpent
Silently stalks as he feverishly thinks to himself
How to rescue his brothers in time,
Not be like the others in line
Recapture the Rings and the magical wisdom they hold,
Ignoring the misfortunes told
Braving unbearable cold,
All to earn honor and return with the ten Rings of gold.


Clinging high on jagged cliffs
Above the darkness below,
Arthur clims higher
Many hours before dawn,
As cold and misty winds blow.

Instantly, from nowhere, suddenly appears
A winged gargoyle of Delirium
Attacking Arthur
As he clings to the rocks,
Trying to captivate him.
Claws of razors,
Fangs like spikes,
A knight of Delirium
Never loses when he strikes.

Arthur fearlessly stood his ground,
His sword swinging strong from his fright
Severs its wing
As it falls far bedead
Bouncing recklessly off the rocks to the night.

Arthur now stared at the darkness
A bleeding claw and wing at his toes,
As he hangs his head in disbelief
A golden Ring right in front of his nose.

"One of the ten golden Rings!" he exclaimed
"I knew they were here in the north.
I knew they were wrong
I was right all along.
But now there's nine more to be found."

"Now this ring is as deadly as poison.
It is controlled by the Wizard himself.
I can't wear it now,
It would control me somehow,
And I certainly would not be myself."

"But the Wizard will find it missing,
So I must hurry on with my plan,
'lest I be caught,
Sit in the dungeons and rot,
At the mercy of this evil man."


Now Arthur had a very well thought out plan, of course (you don't go chasing around
after Wizards and rings and such without one), and Arthur's plan was indeed very good.
You see, there is quite a long story behind the rings that goes back quite a long way, and
unless you understand exactly where the rings came from and exactly what it is they can
do, you'd probably end up like the hundreds of people locked away in the Wizard's
dungeons.

However, thousands upon hundreds of thousands of years ago, there was a good Wizard
who liked to keep things simple, happy and normal. He was known as the Great Wizard
of the Norm, and he forged the rings when he knew he was reaching the end of his rather
long life expectancy (Wizards usually live a million or so years), so he could pass his
knowledge and powers down to his son. So, the Great Wizard of the Norm made ten
rings in all, one to contain all the power and control the other nine. These nine he gave
to the Able Hearted Men of the Norm, his Knights, so that they could teach the others
in their land of all the good inside themselves, and what great civilizations they could
build with the strength of their hearts. So, as the Wizard died, he passed these rings on to
his son (a young lad of a mere 100,000 years), and he proceeded to be known as the Great
Wizard of the Norm. However, a few hundred thousand years later, the Great Wizard
and the Able Hearted Men of the Norm were having a meeting, and it was at this time
that a very greedy and mentally unstable man, known as Blackmore, killed the Great
Wizard and his Knights, taking the rings and all their powers.

Now these rings are very powerful, and contain very much wisdom. You see, the one
ring, known as the Ring of Time, is the ring that rules over the other nine. The Ring of
Time and its wearer contain all the knowledge of the Universe. All the knowledge of the
Universe, however, does not mean omni presence. It just means that you're incredibly
wise and, of course, this is all very hard to undestand unless you have all the knowledge
of the Universe. So anyway, now you understand how the rings got to be where they got
to be, and what it is they do.


Yet, there is one more thing about the Ring of Time you must understand. When the first
Great Wizard of the Norm died, so did his natural energy that powered the rings. So the
Wizard gave his son the power of love, that love may power the rings, making the
knowledge inside of them physically usable. As long as there was love in his son's heart,
there would be magic in his rings. Well, when the second Great Wizard of the Norm was
killed, his heart stopped and Blackmore had no way to turn all his newly-acquired
knowledge into magic. He hated love, but he loved hate. So he created hundreds of
black candles, which he also loved, to be the ever burning source of his evil magic.
For one hour each day he worshipped the candles, filling himself with love so he could
spend the rest of the day hating, which he also loved. So, you see, it kind of words both
ways. Hence, Blackmore became the Wizard of Black.


Arthur now carries the ring in his vest.
As he creeps to the Castle grounds
He looks up and sees the light in the tower
And four Knights of Delirium surround
The Castle gate
That stands twelve darlons high
Three more Knights fly above in the air.
Through the valley below echo cold chilling cries,
Telling Arthur it's now time to beware.

A sword and rope his only weapons,
The clock grows near midnight's hour,
Arthur stands very little chance
Against the Wizard's black magical power.
So, silently
Away from the main gate he slides
For the darkness of the northernmost walls.
He lassos a stone and begins his ascension
Over the moat of these sacred halls.

He climbs the rope, he scales the walls.
So hard to keep from sight,
Death is standing
Next to him
But Arthur shows no fright.

The tension gains intensity
Now he stands atop the wall,
Balancing well
As he walks along
How easy it would be to fall!

Suddenly he feels uneasiness.
Making shelter in the shadow of a roof,
The clock strikes twelve
So hard to explain
The sight of all hell breaking loose.

Millions of bats and ghosts fill the skies
Ear shattering screams and cries,
Lightening and thunder,
Clouds bursting blood,
Arthur not believing his eyes.


Vultures carrying men in their claws,
The Knights of Delirium applaud.
The Wizard commands His midnight mass,
Acting as if he were God.

finally the hysteria ended,
Fading quickly out of sight,
Leaving the earth
Just as before
Until the next midnight.

CHAPTER THREE

In the last chapter of our story, we found Sir Arthur well on his way to the Tower above
the Castle. He travelled from the hills south of Wizard's Castle all the way to the roofs of
its northern most walls. His journey has been one of incredible hardship and trial. He
has fought giant spiders and dragons, blizzards and cliffs, and now the Wicked Wizard's
warriors, the Winged Knights of Delirium. He must, at all costs, reach and extinguish the
light in the highest tower so he may stand a slight chance against the Wizard's warriors.
Arthur now stands shyly in the shadows of a roof, gazing about at the towers of the castle
and the light he must reach without being seen.

And in the bleakest shadows
Of stained glass halls,
Behind grey almighty walls,
Arthur stares above the roofs
At the strangeness of it all.
Above him
Beside him
Stand the towers black and stone.
Beneath him and
Before him,
A darkness thick and cold,
Forgotten tombs of ancient disaster,
And Arthur walks alone,
Amazed...

The mighty Wicked Wizard
Evil Mentor
Ever living epicenter
Of all evil doing,
Where there is sadness, he find splendor.
Sir Arthur,
The braver
Of the 9 knights to his King,
Knows the wisdom
Of these halls.
Hallowed knowledge burns before him
As he silently makes his way
About the towers toward
The Ring c
The Ring of Time.


Silently Arthur creeps about.
He moves without a sound,
Swinging from roof to roof,
600 feet above the ground.

Vultures circle above him,
Feeling certain he will be dead,
Drawing unneeded attention,
And led
The Knights of Delirium
To Arthur.

An Army of flying warriors
Now made Arthur's presence known.
How could he ever hope to survive this attack
Alone?

Arthur now taxed all of his humanly powers
And roped a bridge between two towers,
Swinging across the castle through the night
Through the towers to the light
The light in the highest tower.
Watching him fly away,
The warriors of the Wizard
Forsaken by their prey.

The windows exploded so violently shattered
Arthur felt that nothing mattered
As hundreds of candles now are splattered
Against the earth
So very far below.

The Wizard's strength now extinguished and gone
His Knights he quietly calls upon.
Only they can save his creation.
"Let no intruder cause vandalization!!
Make him die!!!"
The warriors felt his silent cry
Storming the tower's darkness
Only to find emptiness.


The tower was empty
As far as the eye could see.
Arthur evaded them elusively.
He carried the ring in his vest
And in desperation put it to the test
Creating an altar,
An illusion to the mind,
So that he may hide behind
As the Knights searched beyond the tower.
The ring gave Arthur the diving power,
The insight to the Wizard's wisdom.

With the death of the candles, Arthur killed the power that controlled the Wizard's Ring.
Yet the Wizard still controlled the knowledge of the Universe and the other 9 Rings. If
Arthur were to die before he found the Wizard and took control of the Rings, the Wizard
could make new candles and rekindle his power back to its usually radical level.


SYNOPSIS: This has been a long, long story about a knight who was sent by his king to
venture north to a wicked wizard's castle and find ten magic golden rings. In the last
chapter, Sir Arthur had reached the highest tower of the castle and extinguished the
Black Candles, which gave the Wizard of Black the power to create magic.

The hour is early.
In the darkness of the morning
The air is quiet and still
As if a warning before the kill c
If Arthur doesn't
The Wizard will
End a life this morning.

Standing in the ruins
Of the chapel of their lord,
On his hands he wears the ring
Like a cord to the wisdom of all being
Arthur can see
What the Wizard is seeing c
He hears his commands.

The Wizard's in the dungeon
Rekindling his power,
Wearing a black hood, robe and sandals
With wax he forms the candles
While the knights
Search every room
In the castle.

Arthur hurries from the tower
Down the stairs, across the grounds
Scuffling through the darkness
As the knights lurk all around
He knows the secret passages
To avoid the Wizard's knights
Journeying to the dungeons
To begin the final fight.


Passage after passage
Stairways buildt of stone
Arthur hurries quickly
As if the castle he has known
For many years.

There...
Beside the fire
The Wizard in the flesh,
Working feverishly
As though he could finish
In time.

Arthur could see he was beginning to tire
As he worked beside the fire,
Beside the fire.

"I feel your presence, Arthur.
No man has come this far before
Now you stand before me with your sword."

Arthur came forth from the shadows
With his sword securely in his hand.
Finally he stood face to face with this man.

"You have ruined all my candles
I have no more magical power.
How on earth did you pass my guards
And reach the highest tower?"

"I've seen no mortal such as you.
I can no longer avoid the inevitable.
You've fooled my guards,
You've stayed alive c
My son, you are incredible!"

He silently commanded the knights to lay down their gold.
"Set down your rings at the foot of the gate," they were told.
Arthur did not believe the Wizard no way.
Watching him closely as he knelt down to pray
Wondering what he was doing c
Forfeiting in this way.


"Arthur, you are wise much beyond your years."
Down the Wizard's cheek ran a sparkling tear.
"I could never overcome, as your will to live is higher."
He handed Arthur the Ring of Time
As he stepped into the fire,
Into the fire.

Arthur screamed in disbelief
As the Wizard writhed in flames.
Holding in his hand the Ring
His life would never be the same
As it was before.

He walks in silence through the shadows
Of the no longer sacred halls.
Gathering the other rings, he calls,
"Oh, wicked scum, Knights of Delirium,
The prisoners, release them all."
Then he locked the Knights
Inside the cells
And chained them to the walls.

The prisoners worshipped Arthur
As their one and only savior.
Some were almost hysterical in their behavior,
Hailing Arthur as their lord,
Giving him all the love they could afford.

Arthur began to realize what he had done
Saving the world from evil.
He and the universe have become one.
All the wisdom
From the beginning of time
Is now alive in Arthur's mind.
His intentions are of the finest kind
He is the controller of the Ring of Time.
Now, forever, love will shine
As Arthur forges a world of his own.


As the first morning sun cracked crystal clear over the land of King Oryan, Arthur has
already delivered the long forgotten prisoners of the Wizard of Black. The streets of the
kingdom filled with laughter and song praising him as he walked along with ten golden
rings on his hands. The Great King Oryan and his knights stood in awe of Arthur and
understood that he was now to be their Immortal Wizard. Arthur's face now grew long
with whiskers from his journey and his eyes sparkled with the wisdom of the universe.
He told the King of all the treasure he had seen in the castle and in the dragon's cave,
then he proceeded to tell them of all that was good and all that was to be. He spoke of
the power of love and honesty, the realization of the heart of light, and how happiness
would soon rule this land; not kings or armies. The kingdom gathered to hear Arthur
speak and to learn the great wisdom of his love. They listened and cheered wildly as he
spoke such sensible clear Truth with such Perfect Understanding many wondered why
they couldn't have seen these things before.

THE END



WALKING IN THE RAIN 2/81


A light winter rain falls gently on the city
As I sit quietly in the shadows of self-pity
Without someone like you
To call my own
I drown in the sadness of being alone
You're so pretty...

A girl like you is one of a kind
The storm clouds of emptiness burst in my mind
Your smile is sunlight
To my darkened world
But you're so far from me
Such a beautiful girl
You're so fine...

The rain falls harder as I walk through the city
My dreams for you turn to self-pity
Love and pain
Become one and the same
As I walk in the rain
Through the city.






2-81

Better wait
Give it time
Let her think
About me

There is no hurry
No need to worry
Let time pass by
And then

If I keep trying
She will see
I only want to be...
Her friend



Untitled February 1981


This one will be the easiest
To write, I cannot explain
Why, my interest keeps turning t'ward her
Yet I know I can only gain
Happiness...

I enjoy being around her
Though I really can't figure out why
Day after day
We become better friends
So now I give up with a sigh.

Take me, please, take me
Just drag me away
From the world, take hold
Of my heart
Your beauty astounds me
Your presence surrounds me
I'm feeling a fine friendship start.


Untitled March 1, 1981
Sunday, 6:30 p.m.

Dear Diary,
Can I tell you
Will you hear me when I say
All the things
That plague me
The situations of my day.

Dear Diary,
How I need you
When I attack you pen to page
My emotions
My distresses
My anger and my rage.

Can you be so patient as to hear my every word?
Even though I'm senseless, my reality gets blurred
Sometimes when I'm lonely
You become my only friend
Someone who will listen
When I need to cry-out
Once again...


Untitled March 2, 1981


Dear Diary,
Do you hear me?
Can I tell you?
What it is that rattles in my head
My heart is broken
Once again, too many times
Again...

Dear Diary,
I'm so lonely
And there's no one
Who will love me and believe me when I say
I love you.
Can you hear me?
Someone...

Dear Diary,
I am lonely and there's no one who will tell me that
they love me or they care. Oh, Diary, when I'm lonely,
you are there. All I have are these hands and a
guitar. Just time and empty scores of lines.
Endless heartache tears my eyes as I withhold the
churning sea... of emotion drowning in an
Ocean, the time for me to see, my potential ability
And drive on to better days
Leave depression in the haze...
Rock-N-Roll Craze

3/81

Like sunlight
To a cloudy afternoon
Like the beauty found
In the softest tune
I get high on a feeling
By just looking at you




March 1981

They sail the mighty ocean
To the cool green hills
Of distant shores
They feel such grand emotion
In a world that`s free from the Ruler's sword

So sad a Ruler's evil
When in his power
He loses care
For the rights of his kingdoms' people
And makes decisions that all should share

They must fight
or they must leave
So set they sail tonight
To a land of no deceiver
Knowing in their hearts they're right

Such a risk
They brave for freedom
To sail the oceans' stormy seas
But they are young and strong and able
To live for the things that they believe

They believe that all people should be free
To enjoy the fruits of the things they've earned
So sad, a Ruler's evil
But they've lived in Recession
And now they've learned

Evolution is a slow education
Generations of trial and error
Gradually we'll find the answers
But along the way we stop and stare.



I WILL REMEMBER 3/81



Dear friend,
We've been together
So long
Now we're apart
The love that used to light our paths
Now has become dark...

Dear friend,
I'll always love you
Though it can`t be like before
The world that turns above us
Opens other doors...

You know
I will remember
The time
That we were one
You'll be forever in my heart
But a new world`s just begun...

I live as a star
In the galaxy.
Always changing,
Evolving throughout eternity...

And you
I will miss
Because you were once mine
But now we have to live
Our lives
One day at a time...





Untitled Spring 1981


Like sunlight
To a cloudy afternoon
Like the beauty found
In the softest tune
I get high on a feeling
By just looking at you.

In the coolness of the winter
There is warmth in your eyes
Even from a distance
My heart gently cries
For you...

Alone in the park
Drifting slowly through the trees
Dreaming, wishing you were here
My heart cries tears to fill the seas.

Only time
Will let me know
If you'll ever love me so.

Under the moon
The church bells ring
As I walk alone over a stream.

Wishing you were here beside me
That I could make you laugh
And happiness was all around
Two people walking the same path.


STANDING IN THE STILLNESS March 12, 1981
(Shawn's first song)

Standing in the stillness of a crystal afternoon
Sunlight shines to light the skies
On a wind-chilled autumn morning
Frost brings winters bitter warning
Time to light a log or two
Sit beside the fire
And I know...
When you're near
All I do or see or hear
Is in your eyes
My dear, you hypnotize
And the world can do me no harm...
When I'm safely in your arms.

Oh, you
And me
As the winter fades to spring
I...am who I am
I can only do all that I can
For you, my dear.
Please love and understand
My dear, my love,
Together we will rise above and shine
Like a sunrise in the morning sky
And I know...
That we can
If we do it hand in hand
The wind will call
Our names, in the misty autumn rains
And the world will do you no harm
When you're safely in my arms.

You need someone to talk to
Well, I'd like to be your friend
You can tell me all your problems
And then tell me, tell me again
What it is that's on your mind.













"Love drifts by me quickly
Yet I know not where she goes
She leaves like the winter
When I'm dressed in summer clothes."
Is that what's been on your mind.
Yes, that's what's been on my mind.
You don't need to worry.
You don't have a care.
Rest your head upon my shoulder
Cause I'll always...always...always...be there.



Untitled Spring 1981


Dear Sweetheart,

When I see you smiling, I know
Just what to do; I wrap my lovin'
Arms around you, feel the way you
Do. When I lie alone with you
On warm afternoons dreaming
Or on quiet summer nights
Your eyes a peaceful gleaming
Showing our own solitude
In our separate world
Nothing can touch us
When we're together As one.
Into the Sea of Love
We're hurled.


Untitled April 1981


Life has ended
My world gone dark
I live this day in rejection
The die not cast in my direction
Leave me alone
In my dismay.

My heart is broken
My head in dismay
How can I go on living this way?
No one to love me,
No one to care.
When I need someone to talk to
Nobody's there.


Untitled April 6, 1981
Monday 5:30 p.m.


Dear Diary,
Are you listening? It's been so long since
we last conversed. The days pass by so quickly
as my youth becomes dispersed. I've got my van
back and running that is why I haven't been
around. The world is so gigantic, I get lost,
unseen as I drown. All the notes and all the
tones lead into one another. Harmonic Modal
fascination is the mystery to uncover. I'm back at
Grandma's for awhile 'til the wind calls me
again. Then I'll be off to somewhere else
Just me, my guitar and a friend!

Love,
Me

P.S. Nothing.

APRIL 1981

Call me sometime
If you need a shoulder
To cry on
As the pressure of growing older
Colors your picture somewhat colder
There is relief
In an empty glass of wine

Think of me as someone
Who is also as you are
Nothing more
And when happiness seems so far
Keep my number in a jar
Call upon me sometime
When you need to clear your mind

I can help you find yourself
Through hours of conversation
and a separate point of view
To look through
When logic is so far from sight
Together we can divide the wrong
from right

Don't worry that I might care
It's only life's trials that we share
I will only take your mind as far
As it needs to go to find out
Who you are

But those thoughts inside
That no one sees
Must at one time
Learn to be released
And if no one's there
To delve inside
The law of logic
Can no longer be applied

But when the story is told
It seems so real
We can't neglect
The inner truth we feel
I know it hurts
But life does go on
And on and on
We go through life
My friend



HE WON'T, BUT WHAT IF HE DID 4-9-81
7:00 P.M.

I once had a friend named Bryan Argo
But he died just yesterday
He was the best friend I ever had
Now who'll believe me when I say
He was good at everything he did
Man, you should have seen him play
We were buddies to the end
Into music all the way!!

We studied all harmonic tones
And the meanings found in each
Musical knowledge is for what we strived
"How many frets can your pinky reach?"
Well, one day Bryan got hip
To an inharmonic tonal trip
He bought a Marshall stack
And began to study feedback
Dissonant notes were all he applied
A jazz man's suicide
I couldn't stop him though I tried
His mind was thoroughly fried
Bryan's guitar kept screaming
Even after he died.

L.A. MAN 4/81

As the sun sets over the concrete
And buildings in the sky
The freeways jam up
As working people
Complete their Nine-to-Five

...And in the streets a young man dreams
About playing in a Rock-N-Roll band
But deep inside
He knows he only can
Be just another L.A. Man

Oo-oo, L.A. Man
L.A. Man
Where are you going to
L.A. Man
The City isn't holding you
Go fulfill your dreams' desire
You can set the world on fire

As the sun rises over the mountains
And highways to the stars
The radio plays the sound
Of Rock-N-Roll guitars

In Hollywood, the clubs are packed
Musicians in demand
And in the clubs
A thousand screaming fans
Cheering for an L.A. Man

Oo-oo, L.A. Man




5/81


Page upon page
I write for you
Hoping someday you'll be mine
Stage upon stage
I'll play for you
Showing you my love is one of a kind

Day upon day
I'll think of you
And wonder if you're thinking of me
Over and over
You'll win my heart
A trophy as deep as the sea

Tear upon tear
I'll cry for you
And my sorrow will fill up a sea
If you really don't love me
What else in the world can there be?

But the tears from your eyes
I'll wipe away
And replace them each with a kiss
And your sorrow and sadness will all pass away
To be conquered by love's tenderness.

Year upon year
We'll be together
Till sadness no longer remains
The words from my lips are truth
Don't ya know now
We'll conquer and shut out the pains.

I'll protect you
And keep you
From the world and its harm
And show how easy it seems
To go up against unbeatable odds
And still come out holding your dreams.

And with each passing moment
We'll learn when we disagree
To feel what the other is feeling
To see what the other can see
Respect what the other's thinking
And give each our own privacy
Learning and living together
Believing in honesty.



THE BEAUTY OF WISDOM 5/81


Journey deep inside yourself
To see what it is
That tells you
To do what it is you do

All that lies before you
Is all that is right now
Just a different time zone
Which you've prepared somehow

Answers lie before your eyes
Yet nothing's gained if no one tries
One must work
For paradise
Or a solemn existence
Will have to suffice
For the rest of your
Oh, so boring life.

Journey far
As you possibly dare
Find what knowledge
You may accumulate there
Learning takes place
Everywhere
The beauty of wisdom
Was meant to be shared
With one who has given
And one who has cared
For so long...

Don't be depressed
For the longing of answers
Decay will creep upon your progress
And slow you as cancer

Be alert and asking
The questions of your youth
Always seeking answers
Always searching far for truth.




LIVING FABRIC Spring/81


Gently when the rain falls down
It moves me deep without a sound.
And flows in streams along the ground
While I lay here dreaming.
In the light silently beaming
All is as it is or seeming.
Misty afternoons in autumn,
It seems all things my mind's forgotten
To be just where I am.

Alive inside a moment,
A moment clear and clean,
It seems to last forever
At last, pure love is seen.
A garden so enchanting
One never wants to leave;
Each Living thing enhancing
The Fabric that they weave.

Funny how the world goes round
Well, now the breeze is coolin' down.
The trees have begun to lose their cover;
A girl walks by with the sky above her
And somehow disappears.

When the clouds bring raindrops falling
To the streets the roofs are calling
For their owners to return.
Sipping tea beside the fireplace
They quietly watch it burn.





CANVAS ENTROPIES Spring/81


My life is just a painting,
The colors filled in time,
Memories reflection
Mixed in melody and rhyme.
Something in the daydream
That the lonely artist sees
Only he can make it freeze
In canvas entropies.

Our lives are but a moment
A blink in the eyes of time,
Memories live forever
In a universal mind.
The beauty we've created
And all we've contemplated
Will always be remembered
'Til that far away September
When all will be one again.






Miss Figalily Spring 1981



Saturday morning
Early summer
Off she goes
Yet no one knows
Miss Figalily

Ah, she pleasantly sighs
As a pigeon flies
From the lawn of the park
That she`s visiting

Ah, what a beautiful afternoon
As she strolls through the shops
And she hums a tune
Ah, it sounds so soft
So sweet are the thoughts
In her mind

She loves to lay
In the sun
As the summer
Slowly melts away
It`s a figalily day

She pleasantly smiles
As she watches a child
Wonderin` what will become someday
It's the figalily way



June /81

Softly my emotions flow
As sound waves to the night
Asking the wind to bring me back
A lover
Like one eagle to another
This empty heart cries out for one
A companion to the rising sun
An empty life keeps searching
For someone real.

A lonely heart keeps searching
For someone real
Someone to know and feel
To touch beyond what normal bounds
A daily friendship holds.





Untitled Summer of 1981
(For Lori Laib)


You look so quiet, so shy
When I watch you
I want to cry
The way you walk
Oh me, oh my,
But I know you're not so timid inside.

I saw you in your party dress
You looked so clean, so fine
When I saw you in your skin-tight pants
You nearly blew my mind.
I've been watching you for weeks now
From the corner of my eye.

You don't seem to see me
But I know that you do
I hear you're getting married
But do you really want to?
You're so young
And have so much to do
Before you end your fun.
The rest of your life
Lies before you.
Can the thrill of passionate romance
Be all done?


FADE AWAY 7/81

In the evenings and the mornings
Afternoons or quiet days
Temptations' idea dawning
Dreaming of you
For a moment
Fade away...

As life becomes confusing
Demands beyond dismay
The world's not so amusing
Want to hold you
As they're screaming
Fade away...

When I told you, you believed me
The soft-spoken words we say
Your advice never deceived me
When I'm with you
There is laughter
Fade away...

Fade away
Into emotion
Like an ocean drowning me
Fade away and think about you
Set me free.





Sept. 1981

Hey, everybody
Listen to what I say
It's not that I don't like you
But I'm going' away

Ya see I know what I want
And I can't find it here
I need to make music
That sounds perfectly clear
And no matter what I do
To the music I'll always be true

When my love first began
I'd play music all day
learning to sound as I feel
I'd pick up the guitar
Play for hour after hour
The feeling and sound so real

There I'd be all alone
My guitar in my hands
Playing sounds so deep from my heart
So now I'm moving away
Because I just have to play
I'm in love with my beautiful art

Someday you'll hear me and you'll understand
When my guitar softly cries in my hands




TO THE PEOPLE I USED TO WORK WITH September 1981


Come that Monday
I'll be gone
No longer here to piss upon
You'll stay here
To live what you've earned
I'll be gone
As the table has turned
Young as I am
Still I have learned
Don't stay too long
Or you may become bored
Don't sit on the earth
When you could have soared
In the air...


SOFTER VISIONS Autumn 1981


Blowing down the corridor is a feeling I have missed.
I've somehow reminisced
Back to days of grade school
And sunlit afternoons;
The fields of grass smelled sweet
For I played in many days
So many different ways
To sit inside these fields again
And sing those heartfelt tunes;
But bulldozers have destroyed them...Gently
In Autumn.
Now they lie forgotten
Beneath asphalt parking lots.

Fuck the mighty bastards
Whose authority I doubt;
Their concrete jungle establishment
Is a life I'd live without
Yet trapped are we in prisons
Cities, mortgage, tax
"You'd better do it faster,
Or else you'll get the axe."

I came into this world with nothing
And from so shall I leave;
All in between those points
Is a game that we conceive.
I really don't care about the rules
Or the mortgage, rent or prisons
'Cause in my mind I'm quite detached
And see much softer visions.




G.A.S.PUMPS IN THE GARDEN Autumn 1981
(For Gregory Alan)
Today is the day
We look back
On all that used to be
Thinking somehow
That we've found
A key...

A feeling grows from deep inside
The heart that lives in pain
A sunrise bursts
As life begins
Again...

Somehow, I know
O, oo, o, oo, o, oo, o, I know,
That I control my world
My way.

But all that I know
Is all that used to be
Now I must create
My own path
To my destiny.

Looking forward, dreaming blindly
Blank expessions, on their faces.
Dreams without
Motivation
Leave only sorrow in their places.


Winter 1981

She's so sad
She's lonely
She thinks that life was only then
Now there's nothing
Shattered visions in her head
Of the times
When the world was so secure
How she always wished they were
To be




Untitled January 1982


If I ever chance to see
A lovely lady glance to me
I should smile then go my way
'Cause I have not the lines to say
To make her with me want to stay
I could only hope to meet her
On some lucky day
To speak sly words of pushy phrase
I'd not to be one of my ways
My eyes can speak in times like these much better
Be it may or be it not
My music's all the love I've got.

So into it I pour my heart and soul
Practice to be truly whole
With the instrument I control
The solemn moods of meaning I can share
So much warmth inside of there
To give to everyone
Together we share the light
Bright as the sun
With practice comes the magic of true art
With loneliness comes the gradual progression
Of a love that flickers in the dark depression
Empty hours filled with repetition
Lights the flame that fuels the sounds
Now ready for ignition
It's not just a love with me
It's more like a religion.


Untitled Early 1982


Lately I've been sittin' in my room
Just playin' my guitar
And I'm not gettin' very far
So I'm singin' this song
For the hearts out there
Who need music to go on.

She wakes up in the morning
And her pillows feel much better
Than they did the night before
She wants to sleep a little more
But then the world's in such a hurry
And she must be on her way
Though she wishes she could stay.


UNDERSTANDING

Early 1982



I heard you knockin'
At my cellar door
What have I got that you need
What have you come here for
Is it what I believe

I know it sounds so silly
But yet I know and then
Simple situation
So hard to understand

Everybody knows you're here
So why don't you come in
Secretly evaluating
In a way that seems pretend
A reality you shape and bend
Yet while accepting you, my friend
A ray of hope glistens in the darkness
That we all might understand

But still you're on the underground
Deciding what is next
Just putting the finishing touches
Into the overall text.

She said to me,
"So put down your reaction, honey,
Let me make you a single man
It all has to do with money
You're starting to understand."


Over in the city
The world in turning
A backed-up world
Their futures burning
I wonder if they're all aware
Or if they really care
They all have one thing on their mind
And that's to keep on movin' and
Have a good time.

My future's so much bolder now
And I'm starting to understand
It all makes a lot more sense
Now that I've taken the key from your hand.

Just another power junkie
Just another ace of hearts
I know it has to do with money
Is this where it really starts?


CORNER AFTER HILL February 10, 1982


Early in the morning
It's another day
I get on to my cycle
And I ride away.

Get out of the city
Onto a two-lane road
And then I jack the systems
Up into overload.

Winding every gear
Way to the maximum high
A radar couldn't clock me
As I whiz on by.

Nothing 'round for miles
Except for corner after hill
Blowin' down the highway
What a thrill
What a thrill.


Untitled February 12, 1982

Take the smile upon your face
And cast it to the sea
For when you're alone with me
I can only see your heart
Beneath your golden skin.

After the daylight's ended
And the sky grows dark
With flakes of light
Alone together throughout the night
With nothing but love between us
I wish they could have seen us
As we danced amid our dreams
How dazzling the scenes
That you paint into my life.

But I'm torn between the love I have
For you and my guitar
And I wonder if I'll ever be
What it was I wanted when I was 17.
But the fact that you love me
Makes me feel like I'm a star
I find myself performing
To the walls inside my room
Staring out the window at the moon
But as long as I have you
I'll be happy.

But the fact that you love me makes me feel
Like I'm a star although I'm only
Poor and struggling to make the best
Of a performing art I love
As much as you.

But I'm torn between the love I have
For you and my guitar
And I wonder if I'll ever be
What it was I wanted when I was 17.

Take the love that's in your heart
And hold it dear for me
You know I love you, girl
That`s the way it has to be.

Take the love that's in your heart
And hold it dear for me.
It's a magic reality
In a world that's growing colder
Each and every day.


DEEPENING DEPRESSIONS February 1982


My lover hasn't written me
For a long time.
I wonder, could I find
Someone who'll always be there
A true love who'll always care.
I believe she's found another
To fill her empty heart
Since I've been away,
I've nothing to say.


A darkness now envelopes me
Deep in the night.
The love light fades in nocturnal hours
Overcome by infernal powers.
Emptiness fills my entirety
No thoughts do I encounter
Only blank expressions
Of deepening depressions.




Untitled February 1982


When nothing is inside my mind,
Nothing bothers me.
I like to feel nothing;
It's pleasant.
I think of empty blackness
And listen to my breath.
It's really quite relaxing
Almost as much as death.

When I get so busy
That I'm starting to freak-out,
It's always best to clear my mind
And just forget about
Anything that's not happening now;
Just get myself on track:
Never looking forward,
Never looking back.

Look into the center
Of whatever that it is;
Forget about the bullshit
And just get down to biz.
Don't freak yourself out on nothing
That hasn't ever been.
Forget about those paranoias
Or you'll never see through 'em.



Untitled February 1982


The pen in my hand traces gracefully
As it goesacross my world
Drawing pictures
That everyone might see the many colors
in my life.
My pen is like a knife
Carving depth into an empty page
That reveals gentle thoughts
Or blindest anger's deepest rage.

Hello, old friend
How nice it is to see you again
Many days have passed
Since our paths have crossed
But it seems that in your absence
Not one ounce of our friendship was lost
And I'm so glad.

It seems like it's been such a long time
And such a lonely time it's been
When I last left you in confusion
To find myself within a scattered mind
The bleeding colors which paint our scene
Don't plainly explain what they truly mean
Which makes it hard to understand
And it takes time.

Time together to know each other
Time away to know ourselves
So we can stay the way we want to be
Together and Free.


INNER FEELINGS 2/82


Could this hopeful ray of sunbeam
Glisten in your sparkling eyes
After hours alone and sleeping
Dreaming of a paradise
With you.

If the endless path bears roses
Take some time to know the way
For when the evening darkness closes,
You'll have to find a safer place to stay.

Suddenly you're finding
An ever-present binding
As it melts your heart away
You see your eyes are quickly blinding
Sprinkling tidings of the new day.

Inner feelings,
Quickly captured
Entire concepts
Quickly grasped
No more wonder or frustration
Open up my feelings as they pass.

Lord, the fire burns within me
Distant laughter
From another room.
Lord, the fire burns within me
And it spins me
Like a tune.

When your life is over, baby
Lay your body down and fly.
Don't look back and don't you worry.
Accelerate your heart into the light.

If you've lived for peace and freedom
If you've loved right from the start
You will find your path is clear now;
Disolve into the opening in your Heart.




2/82


Everyday I'm finding
In a new and different way
My feelings are what's guiding me
Not the other things they say

I know the subtle evening glimmers
In a distant array of light
A heaven-on-earth kind of thing
With an overshadowing amount of fright

But these are not the only things
That make me see things the way I do
I guess it's like the rain in springtime
Like the early morning mountain view

Above the hazy cast of hang-ups
Above the inner wall
Out in the air where the sunshine glistens
Out where the voice of freedom calls.


Untitled March 1, 1982


If it was only for today
Our lives together laughing
How I love you
Can't you see it
Even though your road is baffling.

Every morning I'd always listen
Back when I was seventeen
To the radio emission
And what was happening on the
Scene.

Hallowed secrets
Daisy Angels
Kill the seasons of our land
In creation
Civilization
The nastiest cities ever to stand.


Untitled March 1982


Whence there came an April
That dawned itself majestically
Upon the earliness of spring
And sat so vividly in the midst
Of the new year. It was so
Bright with anticipation and
Hopes of coming goodness that
Would soon be upon them in
A very short while. He told
Them Queen B of Namatul bogna
Would sparkle light upon their
Newly brightened year and shine
Vacantly in their morning what
Was once only crackling gently.
He spoke of the fire and its
Subtle warmth that had always
Held the life-giving heat of his
Ancestors. Speaking softly yet only
For a moment, he said once
That it would be o.k. if every
One sat typically in the room of
Shadows, but only for a moment.
Sadly, he sat in the shadows of darkness
Alone in his despair. Kindly
Watching for someday when the road
To river was bare. He drove his beautiful
Lambourghini somewhere
Between 180 and 210
In order to reach there.



T L C March 1982


Shawn, you know I love you
Although my words seem masqueraded
To describe the feelings you release in me
Would be like riding rockets in the sky
Without an ounce of time to pass me by
I know it sounds so silly
But yet I know and then
Simple situation; so hard to
Understand.
I wish I understood myself
And what we really share
I only know I need you
And your tender loving care
I hope we love forever
And with each passing day
I can always look to you
Feeling this same way
Please try to understand
This world has taken its toll on me
And my life has little meaning anymore
For what is happiness
No one can answer me this
Unless they've felt the warmth of your softest
Kiss
It is this!


EMILY, MY DEAR 3/82


Emily, my dear
It's so enchanting to have you here
Once before I dreamed of you
As endless oceans drifted to far away lands
Don't let go of my heart
Hold it tightly in your hands.

Emily, my dear
Where did you go?
Why did you leave me here?
I'm so alone now
I wish you'd come carry me home now
I think I'm losing control
And I've nowhere to turn.




INSIDE MYSELF 3/82


After the light has faded
And the darkness sets within
I find myself unfolding
And all my deepest thoughts begin.

It's just a little game I play
To keep myself amused
At least it keeps me away
From all the cocaine and the booze.

But when inside myself I find
A meaning I can't bear
I just pretend
That it wasn't really there.
Then move along to other things
Ocean scenes and golden rings
And the girl with the ruby lips
Who tells me that she loves me
And then I fade into the Dark alone.

Oh, the laughter
Oh, the pain
Feel the sunshine
Watch the rain.
The things on earth
That I could gain
With a little motivation
How I could rock the nation.

Tearing fragments
Each from a different time
To place together
Creating rhyme
And with each moment
Different kinds
Of fragments
Confuse my festered,
Weary mind.





Untitled March 1982


Here I am in a world by my lonesome
Wholesome as I might seem to be
Desperately searching
For someone like me
To help me see
What I was meant to be
Someday...

Over and over the tears from my eyes
Trickling down all around me
Abounding intensely
Yet making no sense to me
All these emotions
That I have locked inside
Of myself.


Untitled March 8, 1982


Here I sit
With my head in my hands
My whole world has crumbled
To dust
My woman has left me
It's over
And I feel as if in no one can I trust.

Today wasn't too bad.
I played with my band
And it felt so good just to play
The music's so soothing
And the energy so real
And a solo can take you away.

Back in grade school
Everyone's laughing and
It's funny when I hear them say
"Would you please excuse me."
Their plan never includes me
So I'd play by myself every day.

Play with my instrument
So quiet and mellow
Such a classical gas it would be
To sit in a hallway
With a cathedral-like sound to it
The others could never feel like me
Inside.



Untitled March 15, 1982


I'm goin' to my room, and I'm gonna play my git'
And I'm never gonna come out
Gonna scream and shout
About everything I feel
Turn it into sound and it becomes so real
I can't wait.

I really wanna blast it
Way at top volume
Filling every corner of my mind and of my room
With laughter
Insanity of inhibitions
All sense of time is lost
Crossed by moods of deepest definitions within me.

Endless spans of time open up a mind
Beyond its wildest dreams
So subtle is the touch which
Forms my instrument into tiny sparkling brilliance
Sounds howling dark medieval phrases
Which blaze as if they were the sun
And soothe me... Ah yeah sooky.


3/82

Well, I'm dancin' in my youth
And you're standing in your grave.
Don't waste your life
To wait for death;
Don't keep your feelings
Locked away.

It's only one step further
Until you reach the end
And when you go
I hope you know
You lived it well, my friend.

Life is but a party
If you choose to live that way.
So sad to see you sitting there
With not much good to say.

Well, I'm dancin' in my youth
And you're standin' in your grave;
Just think of all the fun you missed
While waiting to be saved.

It's all in how you look at life;
Live it the way you choose;
Life was made to live it up
I'd hate to see you lose
Out on all the memories
To look back on when you're old
Happiness is in the hands
Of the youthful and the bold.

So as you die I hope you feel
The life you lived was great;
Don't keep your feelings locked away
Before you know it, it's too late.

There's a girl that you've been dreaming of
She'll walk into your world today.
My God, the last thing
You want to do
Is let her slip away.
Although you're feeling lonely,
You're still feeling kind of shy,
Then why you take your time
That girl walks by with another guy
Can ya' tell me why?
Well, I'm dancin in my youth
And you're standin' in your grave.


FOR THE ONE OF US Spring 1982


After this is over
And they tell me to go home
I'll take my check and
Head for my house
Where I'll sit there
All alone.

When my day is finished
And I'm waiting for the bus
I think of what I'll make for dinner
For the one of us.

The world is cold and lonely
Lord, the rain just gets me wet
When I reach my home
After a hard day
How much lonelier can you get?

So I fade into the darkness
And the candle light within
Then all the dreams and sounds and visions
Within my world begin
The colors of the autumn forest
And the party in my mind
And all my friends and all the laughter
That still remain from another time.

I can think of a melody
So soft and pretty
As it touches my heart
So many, many warm sensations
So very many dreams
All coming from inside a song
Each from a different part.

But everyday becomes the same
A senseless, ruthless, fucked-up game
No way to try and get ahead
You can't believe a word they've said
'Cause they're fuckin' you.
So you won't fuck them instead.

Die...in the depths of hell
Until you see no light
Rot as mind's decay
Your body lay
An endless broken heart.


Untitled Spring 1982


Got to get a message through
One more chance, a time with you
To walk and spend awhile with you
Saturday evening kisses
Hear you gently call my name
Finally feel like I'm fallin' in love
Again...Fallin' in love again.

One more chance not to feel so lonely
In the summer when I only
Play my guitar
But chances are I will see you again
And you'll remember me, my friend.
We'll dance the night away
People would have to say
"Dig those two."

But were you out there
Did you see me walkin'
All alone on that night in my dreams
Couldn't you feel me cryin' for someone
Like the girl in the magazines
I know you came straight from the cover
I been lookin' for you to be my lover
Everyday 'til you sit and sigh 'til you
Fry out on lots of things
And fall asleep goodnight.


Untitled April 1982


Saturn's ring around itself
Is like the inner wall
Closing in your feelings
From us all
Such intense emotion
Bottled up within you.


Untitled April 1982


It's a sad day, darlin', now we know it's over
We've been together too long now we see
I wish we could go on livin' together
But that would be stupid
If you don't love me.

Oh, you had my heart for so long, baby
It's so strange now you're not with me
I thought that you cared
But now I feel stranded
Leaving me lonely is this how it must be
Leaving me lonely is like cold misery.

Like a little girl when her doll has been stepped on
That's how I feel inside
With no woman to love me
I feel so lowly
And my world has been crushed
Like the trash in one of those machines.


THE MAGIC POND April 1982


Softer than the lovely velvet clouds
in any sky
Bluer than any cool comforting stream
of clear rain water
Clearer than the chiming cathedral bells of
Holland that ring brilliant music
across the hills of green grass
No scene can equal the crystal shining
fascination of
The Magic Pond.

And far away beyond the quietest unspoken hopes
inside your heart you can feel the serenity
of the Magic Pond inside yourself
and know that someday
you would like to be there;
So again you feel the hope that someday
you can come to my pond and
Achieve the unreal!

In all the universe, there is only one
little speck, one tiny body of land with
a little drop of water
and inside this molecule of
evolution is the Magic Pond
Where you can live your
Wildest
Dreams.


Untitled April 1982


Sometimes I just have to worry
Why life goes by so fast
The good things never seems to last
Here for a moment
Then faded to the past.

But what about your money, honey
Will you be able to pay the rent
When it comes time to pay the man
Or the monsters that he's sent.

So insistent are these leeches
Clinging to my every phase.
Working so hard just to live
Puts me in a daze.


Untitled April 28, 1982


Now it's time for another friendly girl
To enter into my tiny world
Such a funny thing
As a gleam I notice from across the room
Ignites an uncertain wonder in my mind.

Passive as though it seems to be
Building every so discreetly
Such a wonderful thing
As we sing from the songbooks I've collected
It seems as though they never lose their meaning.


Dear Lady, Spring 1982
Can I see you?
Will you listen for a while?
There's something about you
deep inside of me.
Whoa! it tears me apart
Just to see you in this way.
Whoa! and I need you
And I want you to stay
By me...






Untitled April 1982


d'Da Da Da Do d'Do Da Da Dee
Oh, my love, will you marry me?
I'll buy you a house someday on a hill
I'll give you my life if you say "I will."

I'll work so hard every day of my life
To make things better for me and my wife.
We'll raise us a family and a family tree
That each day will grow from you and from me.

We'll talk things out and never get loud
When one of us is a little too overly proud
I'll give you my money, my house and my car
And someday maybe when I'm a star
I'll buy you a mansion, a Rolls and a yacht
All if you promise to forget me not
And our love will show classic examples
Of how all of the world should be
Together we'll taste and we`ll sample
The fruit, our reality.

And as we slowly grow older
And our hair turns steadily grey
Laughing at each other in our rocking chairs
And "I love you" will still be the words that I'll say
And it's funny how nobody noticed
But time just slipped by like a thief
Now we sit back in old reminiscence
Remembering the way that it used to be.

On the day when I die, I'll be happy
If this is the way that it was
Knowing that someone really loves me
That's what gives all this meaning
Knowing that somebody does.


Untitled May 1982


But day by day
I sit and I say
How can I feel this way for you
Is it love growing slowly
Controlling my heart and the way I feel
Now the world has turned around
Everyone's driftin' out of my life
Except for you
And I hope that you never do,
Ever gonna leave me again
'Cause chances are I will see you again
And you'll remember me, my friend.

May 1982

So lily white are the lights
That beam discreetly in your morning
And shine vacantly on your afternoon
So everpresent are the dreams
Which shape your reality
So meaningless are the words
Which, when uttered together,
form such beautiful sound
So tiny is the world
In which we can be found.
So deep is the ocean
With her mighty pounding waves.
So vast are the multitudes
Waiting to be saved.
So intense are the feelings
That I have for you
So wonderful it is
That you feel the same way, too!

So lily white
So everpresent
So meaningless
So tiny
So deep
So vast
So intense
So wonderful




Untitled May 1982


A Year ago this time,
My life was going well;
Now, I'm poor and frustrated.
My world is shot to hell;
Innocence is history;
Youth hardly remains;
Living life in poverty
And governmental chains.

Soon the world will remember
How much better it was last December
Beneath the Christmas tree
When you and I had more
To be thankful for
In winter.



FRUSTRATED 5/82


A year ago this time
My life was going well
Now I'm poor and frustrated
My world is shot to hell
Innocence is history
Youth hardly remains
Living life in poverty
And governmental chains.




ACID May 6, 1982


Happy is the autumn boy
Strolling peacefully along his path
With his guitar across his back
And a lovely lady on his mind.

So kind he really is
Deep inside himself he knows.
No matter what anyone thinks,
No matter where he goes,
To all the roads he hadn't chose
That he's happy
And it shows.

To all the acid he had eaten,
To all the children that he'd beaten
And every single ounce of air
That all men breathe, but not one care
For every selfish gross unwanted
In the houses of the haunted
And in the distant trees of light
That shine so placidly in the night
What about the story maiden
With hair of gold and shows she'd played in
Never mind what never motion
Screams to unwind such rad emotion
I just drank the magic potion.
So go jump inside the fuckin' ocean
Hey there, mama, I'm so ripped
Feel like a fool who almost tripped
In front of a crowd.


Untitled Summer 1982

I used to know a cat
Named John Paul Jones
He lived with his freedom
All alone
And everyday
He'd grab the phone
For help to find his way home

We'd get so twisted
Don't you know
And all the places
That we'd go
Beer and Pizza
Or the show
We're just a
Never ending roll

All the intensities
We could feel
All the dope
That we could deal
Anything that we
Could steal
Would just make life
That much more real

And living life
Was just a game
No chance of hunger
Or bills to pay
Having fun
From day to day
The things we'd do
Were so insane

For the sunshine
For the rain
For the laughter
For the pain
For everything we had to gain
We hoped it would always stay that way



Untitled (continued) Summer 1982

But every story
Has to end
J.P. found a girlfriend
She took his heart
And closed him in
So now a different book begins.

Another story
A different life
His girl soon became his wife
Another happiness he'd find
I guess we all
Have to grow up sometime.


Untitled June 1982


And though I wonder what's inside her
I just can't help but care
I don't want to blow her mind
Just want peace of mind to share.


Untitled Summer 1982


Was I o.k.?
Was I alright?
Tell me, pretty lady, what's inside of you tonight?
I know you don't know me
But I can see you may care
Because I know there's an intricate person
Locked up inside of there.

Does your mind see things
From a positive side?
Would it be inspiring
To see me one more time?

You know that you remind me
Of a place I used to go
So familiar to my life
Where I would go when I felt alone
A place I'd go to clear my mind
Of everything that I could have felt
I could bring it up from inside of me there
And show it to myself.

Was I o.k.?
Did you think I was nice?
Somebody whispered in my ear
That you were made of sugar and spice.


Untitled June 1982


When the gentleman enters
Bring him songs from your heart
Drinks for the drivers who love
To see art
We all want
To welcome them here
For they've come quite a way
Just to bend our ear.


Untitled June 1982


Quiet evening drifting into distant hours
Of night
The Windows begin showing a new day's
Dawning light
Alone together
Inside a world of our own
Alone.

Now she comes to see me
And she stays for quite awhile
She tells me all her feelings
And when she leaves me with a smile
I wish she could stay longer
But I don't know what to say.


Untitled June 1982


In can't tell her how I feel
I'm in love
She can't accept it or understand
What is love?
Maybe I'm mistaken
Or foolishly unawakened from a dream

Oh, I know she loves me
but she feels
That she doesn't want me or anyone else
To possess her
She's feeling pressured.


Untitled June 1982
(Sweet Sharon)

So complete, yet so empty
As I roll through another stage
Not knowing how to feel
I can't explain where my heart is leading
But I know I'm going through a change
Then I pick up my guitar
And start to play
All problems fade away.
They never fail to reappear
Along with love's forgotten fear.

Maybe the hardest thing I've ever done
Was to keep my mind off of you
To forget the friendship we've begun
I split my heart in two.

And though my mind is blown
I don't know why
I want to hold you, or I think I'll die.
If I can't have you, I'll have to buy
A Brooke Shields Doll.


Untitled June 1982


When the magic of your presence
Brightens up my world
I find myself forgetting
That God made other girls.

I can't believe I feel this way for you
What a wonderful place to be
Alone together in our world.


Untitled June 1982


I can't wait to see you again
A day is like a year.
Please come back by here
Once in awhile
I love you so much
I long for your smile
Don't ever let my lonely heart
Be without you again.

I tear my head apart sometimes
To try and find a meaning
For all the silly things I do
Which direction am I leaning
A genius or a waste case?
What about my heart
There's something inside telling me
I hope we never part
Again...


Untitled June 15, 1982


I just don't know what it is
That makes me feel for you like I do
Something in the way you feel for me
Has made me fall in love with you.

Everyday it's getting stronger
Although I question why
Nothing ever in this world
Has made me feel so high

But then I get this feelin'
That my mind's getting messed around
And I never wanna be caught like a fool
Walking 3 feet above the ground
But you know I get so lonely
And it feels so good to have a friend
But you know I just always get so anxious
When something good is about to begin.

I don't mean to alarm you
With all these silly things I feel inside
Over and over I think about you
And time and time again I sigh
It's just so damn frustrating
Always living in a dream
On the edge of reality
Not knowing what love really means.


Untitled June 1982


So on and on we go now, mama.
Along the road of life
Long and drawn out days of weather
Lead inevitably into night.

Standing on a mountain
Waiting for the rain
Lost inside the sunshine
Of the autumn as it came.

You say you have a new place
Well, how was I to know
That you could take such love with you
No matter where you go.

Now a vacant room becomes enchanted
New with life
Decorated pageantry
Bestowed in quiet light
Walls that now speak history
With the pictures that they hold
Bringing warmth and definition
To what was once so cold.

Welcome to your new home
I hope it suits you well
May it reflect a part of you
And the pottery that you sell.
I hope there will be room for me
In your wide and busy world
For I love you more than God Himself
Could love one tender girl.


Untitled June 1982


Summer's blowin' down my way
The subtle winds of change
Everyday brings news of autumn breezes
People scuffling away
Along cobblestone walkways.

Warm and wonderful the song she brings
In summer fields of June
Always I will remember her this way
Beneath the sycamores
Screening the light from a full moon.

Quiet lamplight in the evening
Shines the ivy pathway to my door
Falling leaves blow lazily by my window
Just as every day before
Yet now it seems so different.

Her hair shimmers softly light
That sparkles gently in her eyes
Like the stars in the clearest summer night
Forever in my heart
What was once in my arms.


Untitled June 1982


Today I have a new friend
Who smiles rain down on me
As she lays her heart upon me
I leave some other friends behind
And remind myself the love
I have to find.

They told me she'd be coming
And they warned me we'd be friends
"Because she's so much like you, Vini;
She's a cool one to the end."

I can't help it if we happened to meet
Each other
Through a mutual friend.
They told me I would have to
Meet her 'cause of the vibrations
That we send
We're just two crazy people
Evolved to a higher state
The kind of people who weirder
People have trouble with trying
To relate to.


Untitled June 1982


Smile for me
As you walk away
Leave me with reason to live for
When you walk through the door
Of my heart.

She comes when she pleases and leaves when she wants
She haunts my every conviction
She evades my every prediction
She depends on no one in control of herself
Like an elf alone in a forest
I try my best to ignore it.


Untitled Summer 1982


Then she spoke to me and quietly said,
"I want to make love with you" as she lie on the bed
For all of that night was filled with such joy
I had no idea I was just a new toy
Such newfounded hope for a naive young boy
Who was about to have his young heart destroyed.

"I can't be in love with you; I'm not ready for that."
She told me as she went away.
"I know that I could, but it just isn't time."
As long as I know that she could, it's o.k.
But hey, what the hell,
At least it was fun
Just to have known her for awhile
Someday I'll find someone
Who will love only me
But for now I'll just lead on
Through life
With a smile.


Untitled Summer 1982


Now she comes to see me
And it makes me feel alright
I love it when she kisses me
In the middle of the night
Today I thought about her
Time and time again
When we spend time together I wish that
It never had to end.

Tonight she came to see me
But it was only for awhile
I kept her up too late last night
She was burnt, but had a smile
So we sat here with my friends
Wishing we could be alone
Before I could tell her how I fell
It was time for her to go home.

I wish she could stay longer
But there will be time on other days
I wanted her to sleep with me
But I didn't know how to say
"I need you."


DREAMLAND Summer 1982


Tonight I fall forever
Into dreamland
Take me by the hand
And lead me away
Another time, another day
Whatever I see is A.O.K.
It's my picture, it's my play
Encore, Encore, right away.

Goin' down to somewhere
Whatever I create
What kind of magic horror
Could possibly await
Somewhere down in dreamland
Somewhere out in space
I can't wait to be in dreamland
A mystical, magical kind of place.

Dependin' on the light to bring me in
Down out of the fog that I'm flyin' in
I'm gonna flip that switch
And reverse from hot too cool
Set my feet back on the ground
So happy now to be back down
I'm an airplane
But an airplane's just a tool.

One time I flew through the ocean
Another time into the night
The clouds block the stars that shone me the way
But I flew through the night
And into the day
There was light at the end
And it shone me the way
I mean I'm an airplane
Ya' know, what can I say.

I've been to heaven
In dreamland before
It was a gentle golden day
I also been through hell there before
Let me tell you that wasn't the way.

(Continued)


Dreamland (continued)


Heaven is like rainbows and clouds of pure white
A gold-covered mattress
On which to delight
My lady took me there one time
In my mind
I'm gone to dreamland in my mind
Oh, what treasures shall I find
Billions and billions of different kinds
Of dreamlands await me
All there to find.


Untitled Summer 1982


I have been to Hollywood
And I have seen the truth
I have seen the girls on Sunset
Dancing in their youth.
Yeh, I know they take my money
And no, they're not too kind
"Tonight I need your body, babe,
Don't need to hear your mind."

I have been to Hollywood
And I have seen the light.
I have seen the girls on Sunset
Ladies of the night.
I have seen them, fourteen, fifteen
And I have known them too.
Once I thought, "No, I should not."
Butt what's a boy to do?


Untitled Summer of 1982


Forever in our favorite tunes
We'll find a mood
Exciting almost electric
Or relax to a softer tune.

Turn it up and let the volume
Fill your head
Shivering up your spine
When you're lying on your bed.

And we all know the feelings
That I'm talking about
So much pleasure in a tune
It's hard to conceive
So much magic inside music
We've yet to achieve.


Untitled Summer 1982


Idiotic meanderings
Slandering my integrity
Making me a celebrity
To myself.

Silly little nothings
Wrapped inside a world of shiny foil
Aluminum soil
Silver oil.


Untitled SUMMER 1982


There's an accepted light that can't reveal
The inner desires that all of us truly feel
There is a book we read
And from which we are told
Is the foundation that we must
Create our mould.

But in this light no one can see
The faded facts that we must believe
In stories told and fairy tales
In which direction shall we set our sails
The use of evil shall deploy
The very fruit of life we should
Enjoy.

Good is evil; together, one
Without the other there is none
Good is pleasure
Evil, pain
No other explanation need remain.

For so long they've been construed
By shallow thinkers
Who haven't had a clue
To what is right
And what is wrong
Since the beginning
Misguided all along.

Enigmatic resurrection
Sympathy for the feeling quiet
All is one as good and evil.
Believe what they tell you for this is right.

Every person feels as though
Their path they've chosen well
Listening to opinions
You can never really tell.


Untitled Summer 1982


Bathed in crimson
Clothed in black
The mighty sword of darkness
In his hand
Bringing evil to the land
Ready to attack.

Valley village cringing sadly
Detrimental pain to bear.
The path they've chosen drives them madly
To the battles they must beware.

Temples soaring as the towers
Across the valley to distant sky
For the darkness
Sets within them
Building earthly dreams to buy.

No longer sadness brings them evil
As the other path grows light
Traveling in reverse the family
That greets the stranger who feeds the night.




Untitled Summer 1982


Sunlight bright and full of energy
As a noble gent appears
On the sand of the beach in summertime
To check out the ladies rears.

Young and tan, the sleek man wanders
And he wonders many things
The ocean pounding waves of water
And seagulls sing for the song he brings.

Though the summer feels as if,
As though it would never end
The young man quietly wanders
In search of a new friend
If ever it would rain upon him
He would always feel as though
Something beautiful he had come to know
For awhile in his tiny world
He'd find himself.


LOOKING OVER THE EDGE Summer 1982


Don't turn around because you can't go back
You're looking over the edge; you're on a one-way track.
You're shooting down a laser beam
No time to turn around
Open up your heart
And float your mind into the sound.

Always know where the edge is.
Don't push yourself too far.
Death may come a little bit closer,
But he'll only show you who you are.
It's o.k., just be calm;
Don't wanna look over the edge too long.
Maybe you might go crazy
Just go ahead and float into the song.

Sometimes I can't find an answer
I can only know
Sometimes there is understanding
Then over the edge I go
Standing in a different world
A thought away from here
It took awhile to break away
But now the scene is clear.

Sometimes there is understanding
One which can't be spoken
Once the shell's been broken
It comes in waves to me
Gradually...




Untitled July 1982


Even though the scenes of future times
Are all so brilliant now
They will expand somehow
To light so many hearts as well as minds
An idea starts and then it finds
A new reality within itself
Just as it seems to have been meant to be.


Untitled July 1982


Confusion
Leaves me with no conclusion
To draw an answer to the things that you say
It's all so unclear to me lately
Like trying to go somewhere
When you don't know the way

So here I sit
With my head in my hands
Tearing half-finished thoughts from my mind
I feel so alone in my despair
Someplace in this world is there peace
I may find.


THE DRIFTER July 82

Lord, please forgive her
For she knows not what she do
She's just driftin' on through.
She'll tease your mind
She's one of a kind to herself.
But you know somehow
You've seen her kind before
Smiling brightly at your door
Then drift away...

You must understand her
She didn't mean to break your heart
When her love had gone dark.
She tried to hide it from herself
But she couldn't fool nobody else
And in the meantime
She'll blow your mind
While she tries to figure it out
You begin to doubt
Then drift away...

Drift away lovely lady
After painting pretty scenes
I wish you well lovely lady
I hope all goes well
In your dreams




Untitled August 1982


Once
There was a girl
Who said the world
Was at her fingers
And so
She did me well
I could tell
She really loved me
But yet
She had to see
Besides just me
Who was all out there
I could never question why
All the things she felt inside
Were all things she had to hide
From herself...


Untitled August 1982


She doesn't know what love is
Nobody ever showed her
How sad it is to live without love
In a world without undying care
Unable to share the deepest secrets
Of her heart with someone who
Will always be there.

No one to paint her dreams with
Late in the dark of night
To share magic meanings with
And protect her in times of fright.

She never learned what love is
In its truest form
The love that gives life meaning
And keeps your heart so warm
Never cold and lonely
Always have a friend
Someone who loves you just as much
And on whom you can always depend
For the rest of your life...

How sad to watch her look for love
She's looking all around
Everywhere there are replicas
But only one place it can be found.
Then you have to know what to do when it comes
You have to know what to say
Without knowing what love is
It may never come your way.


Untitled Summer 1982


Here I sit with my head in my hands
My whole world has crumbled to dust
My woman has left me; it's over
And I feel as if in no one I can trust

So I figured I'd found a new friend
My whole world had taken new form
Now it's all so hazy the picture
That once was so decent, so clean and so warm.

Now here I am
With my mind on a trip
'Cause some drunk and horny old bitch
She thinks she's so bitchin' and I feel
That she's just a glass from which I'd taken a sip.

She writes me poems
And tells me her lies
The kind that could make you feel loved
But it's all just her confusion she's trying
To live a new life from the one she had shrugged.


Untitled Summer 1982


Someday I may find a way
To see what astral planets say
Then all the love
I hold inside
Could not possibly
Wish to hide from you
Everything we say and do
Will feel to us
Like a dream come true.
When the universe and I
Are one
There is no end to what
Will be done
In life...


Untitled August 1982


Bryan Argo is this dude
He smokes alotta marijuana
Every night he buys a 12'er
And cruises to the sauna.

I seen him in the mornin' flyin' high
On summer wings of open sky
Traveling the planets in search of sacred herbs
While I sit in my vacant room pounding out historical verbs
Twisted and wretch'ed, yet formed into
Bleak suggestion of sovereignty.
Argo lives for music
On the edge of poverty
The knowledge he gains is also
Private property
Dealing only what is satisfactory to the ear
He believes he'll have another beer
Get that boy one, right here.

Bryan talks of silly matter
Waste inside his brain
Like paste, Yeah, uh
So spaced
The words from his mouth
Sounds like he's scatting out "Spain"
I wish he'd go in a pool
And get sucked down the main drain.



Untitled September 10, 1982

Share a peaceful autumn day
Upon your life
It will be one that you love.
That you can call your life.
And if you think the chance is not
About to compare, you can try
To relive what you once held
So dear inside.


LOVE, DEATH AND DESTRUCTION September 1982


Love, death and destruction
Even in my Saturday cartoons
Love, death and destruction
Just no way to be immune
From its strife
You know it's gonna plague you
All your life, oh, yeah.


LITTLE ONE September 1982


I remember when I was a little one
I'd play in the sunshine all day
Oh, what fun all my friends, they were little ones.
Can you come out to play
Across the fields of yesterday
He sometimes comes to me
The little one inside of me
The child I used to be.

And everyday my mother, she'd be there
With yellow ribbons in her hair;
The warmth of her love would never compare
Below that which I find today
Across the fields of yesterday
She sometimes comes to me
For all the love inside of me
That I wish she could see.




(Inspired by and adapted from a Kodak commercial dialogue.)




I GUESS I'M NOT THE ONE Summer 1982


I guess I'm not the one who you want
To build your dreams with
I guess I'm not the one
Who will be there
You say it isn't time
To settle down and fall in love now
And I guess I wasn't meant to be the one
To share your life with
Color pictures of our world
But I will remember you, girl.

I guess I'm not the one
Who you used to dream about
When you were young
I guess I'm not the one
Who makes you care
But you know I realize
That you are you; and I am me, now
And I guess I wasn't meant to be the one
To share your life with
Kodak pictures of our world
Of all the time we spent together
Oh, I will remember you forever...





YESTERDAYS GONE BY LATE SUMMER 1982


Once I had a daydream
In yesterdays gone by
Now it's back in some corner of my mind
I still return from time to time
To this daydream by the sea
For it's always there to find
Way far off inside of me

It's a place I invented long ago
In which I spent a lot of time
Out in some far corner of my mind
A place to feel so happy
Where the heart could be set free
To fly in the falling sunlight
Of the evening by sea.

Now it lives inside me
A yesterday gone by
When I wish to travel to that corner of my mind.
So many hours were spent just dreaming
Till the colors all ran dry.
Always alive in some far corner
Of yesterdays gone by.





Untitled 9-10-82




Share a peaceful autumn day
Upon your life
It will be one, that you love
That you can call your life
And if you think the chance is not
About to compare you can try
To relive what you once held
So dear inside.


Untitled 9/82


Life ain't so pretty
In fact, it sucks hind titty
'Cause I'm livin' in the city.
I'm talkin' 'bout life
It'll cut ya like a knife
And then shine like a light
Ringing clear
In the mystery that you fear.



BLACK HOLE Autumn 1982


The energy fades from sight
Into the distance it slowly disappears
Across uncountable light years
The space is left void
All life and mass destroyed.

The force has come and gone
Leaving only absence of form in its wake.
A dying star creates an empty lake
Event Horizon past
The light has shown its last.

Collapsing into emptiness
The dark side of the energy appears
As a field of strength never to be near
A door to the unknown
And dimensions never shown.

Nothing can escape this energy
A force beyond extremes of gravity
The power of the shadow is stronger than light
And somewhat more deceptive always alluding sight.





DEAR SOMEONE, October 1982

Someone,
How I wait this whole life through
For you
To breathe your perfumed fragrance once more
My friend of many lives before
And beyond in what will be
Your silent presence
Still hovering patiently above me
I see you waiting, knowing
Loving All, and growing
In this feeling of completeness
Which makes two beings
One.

I can feel you out there
Around the corner in time
You are the rhythm of my rhyme
Waiting patiently for me to find.

Hers is the silence
The warmth there within
The sweet gentle wisdom
Of love without end
Pureness and Beauty.
A radiant light
Who lifts you so high
Where no meaning has height.





SENSITIVE TIMES OCTOBER 1982

Enter now...
To quiet fields of autumn
Changes from what we used to know
Forgotten by the years

Even though
It seems as we remember
Sensitive times
Nostalgic in our minds
That lead us to December
We always seem to let them
Slip away...

Then every autumn
I find myself
Alone another day
Walking in a forest
As the evening lights decay
A sadder thought opens up
To the one I felt before
And then my heart falls to pieces
Upon the forest floor





FUTURE VISIONS Autumn 1982


I don't know how to tell you
But I thought that you should know
Your presence still remains with me
Wherever I seem to go.
I can't say how you feel for me
Yet what I feel is true;
I don't know if you're the one for me
But I'm in love with you.

If I could only love you like I dreamed I always could
It would be like the future visions
of my childhood.
And you know I find
It's all true now, baby
But I realize
That you're still not in my world
I must find a way back to you, girl.
Love will find a way...
Love will find a way...
For me to reach you, my love
Someday.

Lovely lady, be my love
I'd love you to be mine.
Though I have no words to say
I know that love is blind
I would love to take you riding
Magic crystal ships
Sailing toward the warmth of clustered suns.




PERIHELIONS OF THE 80'S ENTROPY Autumn 1982
Or
(The Shapes of Things to Come)


I was born on the threshold
Of a new dawning age
Into a realm of technological wizardry
And political fools
Christened to a world of limitless knowledge
And raised beneath the hypocrasy of dogmatic
Concepts.
Gradually I am sorting out the Truth
From the perfidious theories of yesterday
And integrating my own system of thought
And self-education into my universe
(The universe as I perceive it.)
I am yet a young man with much more
In store for me on my road of learning
Yet now I see myself in a new light
A light of expanded consciousness
And confidence
That all I wish to learn is possible
By means of clearer thought.
The ability to strip away the limitations
That have been set upon me
By past generations
And primitive philosophies.





Untitled Autumn 1982


Death threats
Cigarettes
Living in a zone
Working for the government
Living like a clone.


Untitled Autumn 1982


I'd like to learn to know you
Baby, if I could.
I can't have my feelings for you
Be misunderstood.
Quietly as the rain could fall
So soft against my window.
Silently as my heart is breaking
My love for you to be mistaken
As some unawakened dream,
However shallow it may seem.
I'd like to learn to know you.
Baby if I could.


Untitled Early Winter 1982


Winding down from a long day
Read the news, well you don't say
Everybody gotta go to war
What for?

Down on earth here we do agree
It's time to raise on up a family
And I'm gonna sit here watch 'em grow
So when they die, I'll say
I told you so.

How silly it would be to kill ourselves
By going off to war
Like a whore.
Going off into the night
Not knowing wrong from right
Not willing to stand and fight
For what is real.

How silly is this game
In which I blame myself for its existence
Giving in without the least resistance
Showing myself a failure
Again and again.

I'm not a failure, listen to my song
So my life is nothing pretty, but I get along
Die everybody and you shall know
Whatever it was you thought it was
That makes you go...
To war.


Untitled December 19, 1982


Quietly gather leaves together
Hollowed they may be
Tomorrow they will die away
The same as you and me
And pass into another living
Star upon the sky
Another form of energy
Within our futures lie
To be presented to powermasters
Meek and mercy mild
And unto God a present given
For God is but a child.


Untitled December 1982


Daydream
Daydream
Carry me down
Out of this factory
Out of this town
Carry me, carry me
Out into space
Daydream, oh, carry me
Away from this place.

Seemingly
Daydreaming
While doing my work
Off in a fantasy
Like reading a book
Astronauts, Astronauts
Up into space
Daydream, oh, carry me
Away from this.


Untitled December 1982


Killin' time
Got a daydream on my mind
Just gotta stay here
A few more hours
Then I'll be home
In my pajamas
Writing letters to my grandmas
Sending them pictures
Of the way they think
I am.

Killin' time
Makin' every sentence rhyme
Hoping that someday they will fit into a song
I know they will.


Untitled Late 1982


Goin' out tomorrow, babe
I got to play a late night show
Leave a light in top floor window
Be home before you know.
I'm in tune with a fine situation,
Don't you worry 'bout a thing
'Cause all that love is just growing all around me
It's the reason I gotta sing.


THE KEY January 11, 1983


Once when I was lonely
I had nowhere to turn
So I looked inside myself
To see what I could learn
What I found within me
Was much to me a shock
Something found in emptiness
A key to fit the lock upon the door
The thoughts came but to plague me
Oh, the thoughts they came galore
But once I used the key
They couldn't haunt me anymore
I stepped into the light inside me
And was lifted by the ray
Then nothing was within me
Except a bright sunshiny day.


MAGIC KILLER RECIPE February 1983


Wing of bat and eye of chicken
Drop in a tarantula, if he's still kickin'
Pour in a little black widow blood
The one ounce of ancient Tibetan mud
Cook it and kindle the flames with care
'Cause when you drink it,
Sweet Bleeding Jesus will be there
Tongue of pig and hyde of leather
The reaction puts me and Jesus together.
Don't ask me what he's doin' here.
Next thing you know, God will appear.
Then you'll see Moses and Adam and Eve
Goliath and Davey and Walley and Beave
We'll all be together in that place in the sky
'Cause when you drink this stuff, you're gonna die.


Untitled Winter 1983
Ashland, Or.

Once I saw a rainbow shine
Effortlessly it shall unwind
Beneath this shallow heart of mine
While I lay here sleeping
Today the wind was ever sweeping
Cloudy hazes that were seeming
To blind my way
Behind a sky of quilted grey
I peered beyond the known
Into the light of the Forbidden Zone
It feels so good to be back home
You know once you've been away.

Once you've been away
You'll know how it feels
To come back down and cool your heals
I've been away like a madman on wheels
Now there's a silence that quiets me still
Do what you want as you will when you please
But remember who's payin' the bills and the fees.


Untitled Winter 1983


Remember when the sun was brighter
Than all the dreams we had
Fade away, far away, fade away, man.

Let it fall down
Let it all fall around you.
Let it all fall
Let it go; let it free
Nothing will happen
When once thee releases
The pieces of life
Which you think you might be.


Untitled Winter 1983


Darkness fills my empty room
With shadows of fear
Where do we go from here?
The lights are still burning
In the valley below
But I've never been there
So how would I know?

There is no light in the world that I see
All is dark inside of me
Every remembrance is shackled in chains
Inside the world that my body restrains.


Untitled Winter 1983


From a different point of view
I chance to see my face
Then the joy of yesterday
I quietly retrace
For the pieces of my life
I know find to replace
The broken pieces of my past
Left behind in space.

When the puzzle fits together
A picture becomes clear
Suddenly you realize
What's been goin' on here
Moment after moment
They are coming as they go
What the next one holds in store
You never really know.


Untitled Winter 1983


When I was young
I had so many dreams
Of all the things that I was going to be
And as I grew some older
And nothing materialized
There came a tear of sadness to my eyes
What it seems
To be like in all my childhood dreams.


Untitled Winter 1983


Quietly I spoke to her
In streams of autumn rain
For the dreams of yesterday
On my heart leave a stain
Of colored leaves descending
All my love depending on hers
One day into another blurs
As the light around me suddenly stirs

Awakening the serpent fire
Coiled sleepily in valley of the ancients
Erupt the morning of the powers
Ever upward through the central towers
With burning brilliance all things
Will melt away
Cooled by the ice of the shining new day.


Untitled Winter 1983


The sun is descending behind the mountains
Only to leave me alone
In the cold grey darkness again
Car after car passes me by on the freeway
Yet not one holds someone
That I could call my friend
I stand along a roadside
Empty and cold
Waiting for no one
Thinking that someday I could be someone again...
Yet still I am no one
A man of great emptiness
Searching for something
What, I don't even know.


Untitled Winter 1983


Some say it's hard to undertstand
Where to turn when you've lost
Your peace of mind
Nowhere to turn to, nothing to find
I know I'm on the road to somewhere
I guess I'll find out in time.


Untitled Winter 1983


There was once a place in my mind
Where I could be myself. Secluded from
All external things that haunted me
Endlessly. Now there are only vacant passages
To nowhere that lead me into absence
Of structured pieces of rain. The
Visions of delightful fantasy proved to
Be short-lived presentations of emptiness.
Now to be filed away behind thousands upon
Thousand of memories in the mental cavities
Of my brain.


Untitled Winter 1983


Speak to me of mystery
And tales of long ago
Read the wisdom of ancient novels
So I may learn to know.

Wizards wise as thousands of years
Bestow your magic wonder
Let me seek to master illusion
And destroy this illusion I'm under.

Wave your wand and wield the sword
That never from your hands does stray
What charm surrounds your presence
A twinkling star sparkling display.

Wizard, my mentor, may I follow you
To bring out in me the wonder you do
Show me the light that brightened your way
And the sacred secrets you keep hidden
Away.


Untitled Winter 1983


Colored rainbows and kettles of gold
Speak to me of love and blossoms rolled
In soft bouquets of flowers
Endless hours of sleeping
The rain trickles down my window
Like tears of nature weeping
In the silence of the sunrise.

Awaken the fire of the sun
And cool away the moonlight
Of last night
Kindle the flame of today
And let it shine
Open the doors and let the air in
Sweeping around the room we live in
Another cycle begins and ends
Once more.


Untitled February 1983


Never before in my world of color
Have I ever loved another
So beautiful as you
The words you say, the things you do
Are reflections of the ever-true
Heart of gold inside of you.

Never again could I recover
Such meaning deep inside a lover
From the center of your soul.
You quietly come and keep me whole
On these nights while I'm oh, so scattered
Though your heart is torn and tattered
As if nothing else has mattered
You give your self to love.





Untitled February 1983


Lady silver hair golden eyes
Ever shall be
One light in my heart
Comforting me
Oh, changes shall lead us
Away from each
But time, the foreteller,
Will draw us to reach
Out to the distance
Where the whisp'ring wind sings
And sing with the songs
That our memory brings.

I've a longing to see her
And hold her so tight
In a love never ending
On in through the night
Oh, the touch of this maiden
So darling is she
I would travel a lifetime
Just to be near to thee.


I'VE NEVER SEEN THE SUN February 26,1983
Ashland

I've never seen the sun
I've left my world undone
How could I leave it empty and so cold
Lookin' at the moon day after day
Sure is gettin' old.

I've never known the sun
Her warmth not my companion
Where did I dream I had known her before
Where are those promises of the dawn
Won't they rise once more.

I've never felt the sun
That smiles and shines on everyone
Where did I go when she needed me here
Why must I live in world of darkness
Immersed within fear.

I've never loved the sun
That brings warm light to everyone
Why have I lived my life in vain
Is there still a chance to change myself
Or will I always live this way.

I've never seen the sun
I've left my world undone
How could I leave it empty
And so cold
Lookin' at the moon day after day
Sure is gettin' old.




Untitled February 1983


Then her fragrance filled the air around me
As we danced beneath the moonlight
That beamed lovely in her eyes
Reflecting vibrations of love
All inside a moment
A moment more beautiful than
A thousand colored leaves falling
Wispfully to the grounds below
Her skirt waves graciously in the breeze as we
Walk t'ward the waterside
Laughing quietly beneath a sky of diamond stars
Without a care.



THE WISHING WELL(Unfinished) February 1983


In quiet fields of forest green
Beyond the endless dreams unseen
A story once I could foretell
Of a man who chased the Wishing Well
He traveled low and far and wide
To reach a land on the other side
A place encased in mystery that's
Far across a distant sea and sky.

But how and where and when or why
Would he chance his life to go
To somewhere that was lost in time
Ten-thousand years ago
He rolled up all his dreams to one
And sold all he could sell
To chase a dream of endless gifts
The Dream of the old Wishing Well.

An inspiration was all he could feel
As he grabbed onto the steering wheel
His life up ahead could only hold fortune and fame
He would sail to the land of the Great Bonzai Mountains
High above the Aspen sea.
To reach his magical destination
The place where his Wishing Well would be.

The waters were calm and the winds blew fair
Across the sea of kinds
Southwest he sailed on into the sunset
With a pocket full of dreams
The winds of fortune were blowing his way
The clouds were a fabulous white
The sun went down leaving the stars to guide him...


SENSATIONS February 1983


Don't stand up 'cause you might fall over
This ain't no ordinary game
You may think you are, but you're not sober
You haven't noticed, but
We've been playing with your brain.

Don't sit down 'cause you might discover
Something lost in a distant age
Just go forward and learn how to recover
The sacred secrets
Of meaning to your being
Sensations...
Moving in your meditations
Free your mind for a little while
Wear inside your heart a smile.


SILENT RILEY March 1983


Silent Riley
King of the astral plane
Silent Riley
Master of the mundane
He speaks to me in metaphor
Shown only with his eyes
Wish I could see him now
His spectrum of multi-colored highs!

Othello Petty John
You still remain the same
Otho, my man,
The essence of laughter's name
When I laugh I know you're near
I feel your presence surround
I wish you could still live with us
In our little reality frame.

But we know that you're higher
Than our brains when blown apart
And I know that your living now
As a flame in each and every
Laughing Heart.


THE LAST GOODBYE March 1983
(One of many for froggie)

I remember your last goodbye
How once it was with mine
Now forever it shall be
Among my best of memories
So subtle and sweet
Your lips could taste
When once upon mine were placed
And oh, how soft your touch
I remember, felt
When the words of love between us spelt
The snow into the river melts
When comes the month of May
The tears upon your sparkling cheeks display
The love and currents on your heartstrings play
A lonely tune that love could only know
When love leaves love, leaving two halves
From a whole...






VENETIAN BLINDS March 1983


Looking at the world through venetian blinds
Seeing it all from different levels
Each at a different time
Can't escape my destiny
No matter how hard I try
What's on the other side of the window
I cannot deny.

But that doesn't mean that all of this is real
It's just some sort of imagery
That I, at times, can feel
Sometimes I just close the blinds
Because I feel no need to look
For the world outside is what it is
And I am but a book.

Looking at the world through disgusted eyes
Seeing through the misery-plagued people
And all their destructive lies
Could I try to understand
That each one is as they are
And I am but an instrument
To the thoughts that come from afar.

Looking at reality in a different light
Seeing all that I've come to know
Slip away into the night
Is it all a fantasy
I'm creating in my mind?
Do I need to understand it,
Or just let it all pass by?





DRUGS March 1983


The drugs I took
Swept my mind away
But when I wake up,
I'll be O.K.
Ready to move on to another day;
Just right now, I'm comin' down.
My mind is weary, winding 'round;
Can't stop spinning; losing ground.
Talk to me tomorrow;
Hungover in my sorrow;
My bones chilled to the marrow
By some unawakened dream.
However shallow it may seem,
Right now I'm thin and losing steam.
Drifting off to outer-space
Away from the wild world's weird rat race
Because today I took another taste
Of the precious L.S.D.






SLEEPY AFTERNOONS March 1983


Gently human I may be
Sitting shyly by a tree
A tree with years of mystery
It's branches twisted wretchedly
Ever shall it be my place
To sit and ponder outer-space
Dream away on sleepy afternoons.

Wanderin' through rural scenes
Like those that you see in magazines
The view that you get when the sunshine gleams
Across a valley so interesting
Forever shall this be my place
Away from the rest of the wild rat race
Dream away on sleepy afternoons.


IN MY DEATH... Spring 1983


In my death, I shall restrain
From all my feelings of disdain
Float above into the sky
Without the questions why.

Then once out, I'm into space
Away with the light to infinity race
My soul escape all boundaries fled
My soul and life forever wed.

The flow with which I now regain
With love and bliss shall ever reign
The beauties eternally within I seek
When all is one and none are weak.

The candles' light flickers in earthly morn
From the material world I'm suddenly torn
Never more shall one lament
Or back unto the earth be sent.


ONE GIRL MAN March 1983


I've always been a one-girl man
Try to be as best I can
Show her who I really am
And I ain't messin' 'round
I only wanna lay it down
Have her hear no truer sound
Than those three words that I say.

I'm a one-girl man
I'm a one-girl man.
Lovin' just one girl all that I can
One-girl man.
One girl man.
Shout it out so she can believe it.

I don't know why
I'm a one-girl man.
Wanna love her over and over again.
Show her how this young man feels
From the top of my head to the tip of my heels.
Ya know it's true that I'm a one-girl man
Don't wanna play those games again.
I'm a one girl man.


WORDS March 1983


Words, just words
What meanings they have now
Tomorrow they may fade away
In myriads of times fields plowed
Lost beneath the dust of time
Ancient languages of rhyme
How many before me have spelled
Words on empty pages felt
In hearts existing lives before mine
Came emotions nonetheless divine
For few have left their feelings seen
By all the other living beings
The future words will differ then
From the word I know scrawl from my pen
What good are my words in other lands
For this language they don't understand
Leaving my thoughts meaningless
My time wasted I confess
For I have whiled my hours away
In dreams that very little say
A thought or two I could relay
But what good has it another day?


THE RAIN COMES ON SATURDAY APRIL 1983


I've waited all week for Saturday
Toiled forty hours in the sun
Now it rains on Saturday
Therefore, limiting my fun
Why does it always rain on Saturday
Why is it always sunny in the week
The weekend comes with clouds upon my Saturday
I'm saddened until I no longer speak
The clouds they always haunt me on my Saturday
The wind blows very cold across my yard
The sun shines bright on Tuesday, but not on Saturday
I don't know why I'm taking it so hard
My dreams are said to fly in light of Saturday
For freedom takes its wings upon my mind
A little rain won't spoil my parade this Saturday
Happiness is always there for me to find
 
Untitled April 1983
 
Where is she
When I need someone to hold me
Where is her love
When I need her now the most
Why am I always alone
With no one to stand beside me
Will I never have the warmth of companionship
To conquer softly these dark and empty nights
When will this nightmare be over
When will the sun shine again
Tell me the horror has ended
Show me the eyes of a friend.
When will the light reawaken
To brighten the permanent day
When will this sadness be shaken,
When again will my heart-strings play?
For cold are these ugliest shadows
That cover the love in their gloom;
Forever will I live in emptiness..?
With no one but myself in my room.
 
 
 
 
LHASA Spring 1983
 
Himalayan Sunrise
Color fills the skies
The village wakens slowly
As the temples of the holy
Fill quietly to listen to the wise.
Some fulfill a meaning
While others lie dreaming.
For much is to be learned
Never given, only earned
To those who see a higher light beaming.
Lhasa...
In the springtime
The memory shall endure.
Lhasa...deep in my mind
Are all the times that were
Kite flying in Lhasa
And the wisdom of the pure.
I remember all the beauty in Lhasa:
The golden fields where all the children play;
For I can always dream of you, Lhasa
And the meanings I've found that you've hidden 'way
In Lhasa...
The wind blows...through the Himalayas
Lhasa...
 
 
 
 
THE DANCING UNIVERSE April 1983
 
Walking along the shore of the twin lakes a young man silently
ponders the question of his being. The answers seem to surround
him on all sides yet he's only slowly becoming aware of them as
he watches the sun set slowly in the western sky. He wishes he
could follow the sun west and meet his friends at the shore of
Laguna "For there I could find contentment and serenity," he
thinks to himself. Then he remembers an old saying from his days
past of rigid Zen training, quoting 'If you can't find it where
you're standing, where do you expect to wander in search of it,
and he sighed. Walking still onward, he comes to the narrow
pathway that leads him between the twin lakes and later in to the
woods of heather and moss. He thinks of the many contrasting
elements of nature and the left lake and the right lake and the
yin and the yang, yet still he finds himself in the middle and
that all is in accordance with the Mother Divine. And so is he.
Then as he's sitting between the lakes no longer feeling the need
to walk further, he listens. Sitting in a lotus-like attitude,
he suddenly sees the pure life force dancing all around him. He
knows that all matter is composed of molecules and atoms
vibrating, dancing to the rhythm of life. He listens to the wind
blow and rest as he listens to the rhythmic pulse of his heart
and his breath all in accordance. Accord-dance! The dance of
Shiva. He quiets his mind and sets beside him the weight of his
thoughts and knows that all is energy. The Divine Life Force.
Cascades of energy pour down out of the sky in a subtle form as
light and trees and grass grow as a denser form of energy. E=mc2
Energy, Prana, Shakti, Nothing, Silence! The young man sits in
awe of the great intricacy of the universe and thinks of how he
is indeed a form of energy, a part of the Great One. All is one.
All is energy dancing to its own beat, its own vibration, its own
trip. Wow! He thinks and then he thinks no more and is content
in his own place, in his own time, in his own being. He becomes
filled with light and happiness and a feeling of compassion.
Love grows inside him for all living things for he knows now that
they all are the same at heart.
 
HERE AND NOW Spring 1983
 
A moment
Quiet and pure
Silenced by love and peacefulness
Beautiful
Light and wonderful
Ever clear and brilliant
In harmony with nature
A moment lost in time
The time is always Now
The now is always Here
When all is silent
Love reigns supreme.
 
 
 
CLAUDIA (INDIGO BLUE) April-83
 
Claudia welcomes me from behind the counter
Her lips shine indigo blue
She smiles a ray of sunbeam
Her eyes like the light of the moon.
She has such a passive persuasion
As she hands me a book from the shelf
I can only admire her silently
Sitting on a little self.
Claudia works in storybook wonderland
At a bookstore just north of the park
Claudia smiles at the people as they plunder in...
In from out of the dark
Her humor is always enlightening
Someone's day she's always brightening
I wish I could touch her
For a moment the way she has me.
I feel glad to have known her
For a day in this eternity
...She shines Indigo Blue
...She smiles Indigo Blue
...Indigo Blue...Indigo Blue...
Claudia reminds me of a sunset the colors of autumn
Fading away slowly, but never to be forgotten
In fields of my deepest enchantment I'll find her there
For Claudia means love...
And love is everywhere.
When poetry loses its wings and flies not with birds
You'll find you're trying to describe a beauty
That transcends
The meaning of words.
 
 
 
THE FLAME WITHIN Spring-83
 
Never was the light so near
Than in my darkest moment,
In my deepest sadness
So close was total gladness
Relief rubbed my shoulders
And smiled like sunshine
Down came the Divine
To perch within the Heart of Man
Setting wheels in motion
Evolving into the art of what I am.
Never was the dark so deep
As in my greatest virtue
Striving to be right
The dark engulfed the light
Visions filled my mind,
Obstructions of the truth
Lost within my youth
The candle flickers dim
And brightens ever slowly
To light the flame within.
 
 
 
 
JAMES Spring-83
 
James works on the road
He's here and there; he comes and goes
I wonder what he knows...my friend, James.
It's always great to have him 'round
With his pure and mellow sound.
When are you comin' to my town...aw, James.
We heard you're travelin' to Japan
With Waddy and the band
Off again, guitar in hand...Brother James.
I've never watched you play
But I dream I could someday
Your music soothes my soul
But you're always on the roll.
It seems that I can never be
The same place and time to see you
My friend, James.
And could there be a time in life when nothin' bothers me
That would be the time when James' tune had set me free.
Over, under, round and round,
Floating, spinning, falling down.
Never heard such moving sound
To send me on my way.
There's nothing else in life so fine
Then to hear that song blow through my mind.
And may there come...there come a day
In that rolled in golden month of May
When James and I will fly away so far
On the spread wings of his superb guitar
I will always wonder where you are...James.
And blessed may you always be
For bringing so much joy to me
May you always wander free...Dear James.
And the dreams that lie in summer fields
Still float aloft in June
And with them fly the melodies
Of James' softest tunes.
And, oh, your music sets me free
Somehow I know you'll never see
So much love inside of me...for you, James.
 
 
 
 
HEAVEN'S LIGHT Spring-83
 
Like an eagle born to fly
So is man to reign on high
In peaceful love and solitude
With a clear and brilliant attitude
Conscious of the clean and healthy
Spiritually all are wealthy
When the light does make one pure
Love is the force that shall endure
When brotherhood has highest worth
Heaven's Light will shine on earth
And place our egos well beside us
Allow the force of love to guide us
The world of which I am now dreaming
Is for all and self-redeeming
Onward we'll evolve and grow
When love is the force we learn to show.
 
 
 
SHADES OF BLUE Spring-83
 
Simple shades of blue
Walking in my dreams with you
Soft and eloquent desire
Like the embers in the fire
Your love lifts me ever higher
When I dream that I'm with you.
Complex world of reason
Changing colors of the season
Beneath cotton candy skies
See the mighty buildings rise
Concrete ideas of the wise
Create the cities of the world.
Country roads of endlessness
Beneath the sunshine as it sets
Across the hills rolling so neatly
The scent of breezes blowing sweetly
Calms me inside so completely
And sends me on my way.
 
 
 

ARCHEOLOGY Spring-83
 
Is there a reality
Or is there none at all?
What is all this that I see
So deep down inside of me?
I feel like an archeologist;
Archeology of the mind.
The deeper I dig inside myself,
The stranger things I find.
Artifacts of distant cultures
Embraced by souls of past
Now seem to be overgrown
Like pathways few now pass.
Objects block what once was clear
The high-country of my hemispheres
I feel likely to disappear
If I don't grab onto something
So ominous is nothing
I feel...I sense...I realize...
In emptiness, I crystallize
Ever inward I turn my eyes
That I may finally see,
Like archeology,
The dust of time buries things
Even in the mind.
 
 
 
 
Untitled Spring-83
 
When in my world I'm quietly laughing
At things that seem so out and strange,
Then I live in a crystal sea of romance
And along the shores at sunset, shall I ever dance
Peace to be always, I wish could always remain
The scars of war, the tarnish of the stain
Then left forever in a grain of sand
Man salutes and man destroys the fate of man
Ever in time and ever since time began
Both sides of the coin flip over and over again.
Droplets of water fall upon the pond so still
Then ripple ever outward and ever outward will
Travel to the edge and return then to the center
To collide, implode and then reflect
Into another dimension enter
Sparkles of the sunlight in each wave flash in my eyes
Movement on the surface can seem to hypnotize
The pond forever still again and movement ever dies
Stillness remains, above my head
The mighty eagle flies.
 
 
 
 
WHERE IS LOVE Spring-83
 
Once I had a daydream
That took me away
From where I was that day
And it was so much like a snowflake:
Never twice the same,
A little too much temperature
Turns it to a drop of rain.
Then I cried in pain
For I felt it wasn't real
Why did I find it so enchanting
Like the warmth of a summer field
When in its depth was magic
And a reality all its own
Such a stillness I had known
Only for that moment
When I felt not so alone.
Daydream; Summers that seem
So perfect in every way.
Why can't they eternally stay
In some way that I could hold
Why must they always fade away
Leaving my heart and soul so cold
They seem to splinter and fray
Back to a freezing winter's day
And all I have to say
Is where is love.
 
 
 
Untitled May 1983
 
There's a girl named Shawn on my mind
Everytime I turn around
I haven't been with her for a long, long time.
And my face is wearing a frown
But I can hold her in my daydreams
And I can hold her here in my heart
I know she that loves me
Even though we've been apart.
You know that I think of Shawn all the time
And you know I miss her so
Nothing keeps her presence form me
Her love is with me wherever I go
And I can see her in my daydreams.
And I can hold her deep in my heart
Lord, she knows I'm in love with her
Even though we're miles apart.
Shawn, can you feel me dreaming
Shawn, you know I'm dreamin' of you
Shawn, I know I shouldn't be dreamin'
But without you, what else can I do?
 
 
LIVING IN A DAYDREAM May-83
 
Clear sky
Although it rained awhile ago;
Now there's not a cloud around
Why I just don't know.
I'm sitting, watching ducks float by
On a pond surrounded by grass.
I feel no resistance
Watching moments pass.
I'm living in a daydream
Somewhat as they were.
It's all passing by me
Constantly a blur.
The sky somewhat empty;
The pond is somewhat strewn
With stars and beams of sunlight
And a reflection of the moon.
One time I wrote a masterpiece,
But now that's long ago.
They don't come to me everday
And why, I just don't know.
I was hoping I could write a piece
That would move me from within,
But when I sit to write; where do I begin?
Thoughts take shape in nothingness
From there they softly glow;
Some manifest magnificence
Why, I just don't know.
 
 
 
May 1983
Down over yonder there's a farm on a hill
With a stream just below the old windmill
It suits me just fine to know that they're there
I love to stroll over with the breeze in my hair
If I could see shining on some afternoon
The sun as it set at the rise of the moon
I would sing happily this feeling of bliss
To leave it a memory in which I reminisce
 
 
 
MOTHERS DAY POEM Mothers Day 1983
 
All the dreams that lie in summer fields
Still float aloft in June
And with them fly sweet melodies
My memories with you
Before I chance to go my way
I'd hope to find the words to say
That somehow match the inner-flame
Where burns of love for you
Words could not express
Nor eyes cast your direction
Could tell the truth that lies within
My undying deep affection.
 
 
 
THE LIGHT OF THE LOVE May 15th 1983
around seven or so
In the lessening light at the end of a day
A cool wind rustled through the new leaves of May
May 15th around seven or so
Somebody new I'd come to know.
Friendly and smiling with bubbling laughter
She asked me question or two
The sun set behind us as if to remind us
That sunlight shines within you.
Now I'm alone again, but somehow I know
I won't be alone forever,
There is always someone to turn to in springtime
To walk with along pathways of heather
Beneath the branches of colored leaves blowing
In the sunshine of your love
There is always a way at anytime
To transcend darkness and rise above
To the light, to the light,to the centre of the light
Trust in love and take to flight
Then your whole world will come to know
The warmth of clearlights' inner glow
When the one within is born anew
The light of love will shine through you.
 
 
 
 
Untitled Spring - 83
 
Could you find the magic mind
That lives inside your world?
Could you unlock the door of mystery?
Could you trace back over your footsteps
And reclimb the mountain you once fell down
Could you live in a world without sound
And create a symphony.
Ever-glowing presence,
Stillest atmosphere,
Bonded to a resonance
Ringing in your ear.
Sailing into sunset
On a sea as still as glass;
Looking at the colors of the sky,
Like levels of consciousness to be surpassed
Into formlessness into void;
Materialism now destroyed.
Pass into Olympus
To be one with absence of
Any object of distraction
So immersed is one with love.
 
 
 
Untitled Spring 1983
 
Crystal Summer day
Bring me warmth; take me away.
I need to know the sunshine
Of my soul.
Fancy Summer evening,
Bring me love; keep me believing.
I need to see the moonlight
In the sky,
And walk along the shoreline
Dancin' with the beat
Of the wave's unceasing current
Loud and clear and sounding sweet
To walk beside the waters.
Mothers, fathers, sons and daughters
All are equal here with me
No need toquestion why
I need to know true love
Just once before I die.
 
 
 
 
GOING OUT Spring 1983
 
World of wonder
Life unceasing
Mental faculties releasing
Second body, inner soul
Depart from physical we hold
"Out" away to that which frightens
The secret world of vast unknowns
As the spirit quickly brightens
Leaving behind flesh and bones.
Is this just a stage of being
Shedding skin, we learn to fly.
Now realistically we're seeing
We were never really meant to die
Only transcend a reawakening
When silently the dawn was breaking
All along we were forsaking
The meaning of life we were mistaking
For a horror movie scene.
Too much for a human being
Who could dream that we could go
Somewhere we've never been.
Then prove it in the physical
By seeing it again.
 
 
 
 
Untitled Spring 1983
 
When I think of you
So far across the world
I feel an empty feeling
And find it so hard dealing
With life without you 'round.
I'm letting myself down
By now being with you now.
And then I get this feeling
Could things ever be the same
I don't like where I am
I haven't got a friend
At least not one that's here
How I wish that you were near
Now I'm slipping into fear.
And when I wake up lonely
I wish I knew someone
I drown myself in sorrow
Put things off till tomorrow
Living in the dark of sadness
On the edge of madness
Dreaming of the way you make me feel such
Gladness...
 
 
Untitled June 1983
 
No one can understand the depths
My thoughts travel to
Few could comprehend
The intensity of pure energy
I feel such emptiness
Reaching out into rejection
Only a reflection
Of my own vibrations
At least as far as I can tell.
Can the body withstand the pressure
Of the Divine Force?
Will Nature hold Her course
Or might the shadows grow tall
In the failing sunlight of the evening?
Could one find peace in emptiness
And contentment in one's self
Or must one seek his brethren
To justify his wealth?
Is love the key to the gates of heaven
Would my heart flow to the sea?
Are there answers to these questions
That cause such mental indigestions
I've been all but saddened by the stage
In which I seem to find myself encaged
Trapped by my own desires
Chained by the weight of thought
When will I release it all
Destroy for good the inner wall
And discover that all I have, I have not.
 
 
 
June 11, 1983
 
Traveling to nowhere
Someday maybe I'll find
The love of love divine;
And then a light will shine
To carry me to fields of wonder
Far beyond the shore
To be a child of happiness
In Love forever more.
The future holds a mystery
Uncovered as each day...
Slowly melts away.
A peace settles within,
Clearly to be seen
For all is one with Mother Earth
And all was borne serene.
 
 
 
IT WON'T BE TOO MUCH LONGER NOW June 1983
 
It won't be too much longer now
Till we meet again in life somehow;
It's taken time,
But you were always on my mind.
It won't be too much longer now
Till I reappear in my hometown;
It's been so long,
Life without you just seems so wrong.
For all the time we've spent apart
I know should not have been,
But we've both needed room to grow
So love could glow within.
It won't be too much longer now;
The sky will open heaven's door and how.
We'll laugh and sing
Beneath silver bells as they ring.
It won't be too much longer now.
The spark will re-ignite the flame of love
And light will shine
Bringing happiness divine.
And when my heart goes wandering free
Your presence still remains with me
For the past we've left behind
So in the future we may find the way.
 
 
Untitled June 1983
 
Setting forth a sailing ship
On the cosmic sea of time
Reaching out t'ward distant galaxies.
In line for something special
A treat for all to see
Gifts from far-off places
Keeping different company.
Going for the ultimate
In a realm of perfect law
Somehow contradiction is the key
Awestruck by the paradox
Every door neatly unlocks
And shocks with understanding
Until silence sets you free.
 
 
 
 
WHEN DID I LOSE YOU, MY LOVE June 1983
 
When did the rain fall so hard?
When did the shadows grow
too tall for light to beam?
Why have you vanished like an awakened dream?
It seemed as if yesterday
could last so long;
Now today is ending and tomorrow
brings no song
Without your silvery voice.
When did I lose you, my love?
When did you turn toward the light of
a distant star
Beyond galaxies untouchably far?
When did you fade so away from sight
Withdrawing from me such a presence bright?
When did I lose you
To deep, blackened night?
When have I dreamed of your love
Was it only a moment ago
When love's soft touch was white as snow,
Or is it only remembrance
of a dream so long before past
An essence of a love so vast.
Where have I lost you
Into shadowy darkness cast?
When have I missed you so deeply...so deep
As to wander aimlessly in silence'
darkest mourn?
When was your light from within me
so suddenly torn?
Was I only momentarily enlightened
By a radiance which
So fascinated me and brightened
Even the most desolate corners of my universe?
When have I missed you so
In love not reimbursed?
 
 
 
SPIRAL DISSOLUTION July 1983
 
Enchanted by a tantalizing feeling in my spine
Moving upward, moving me inside.
Taking me to fields of wonder
Far beyond the shore
Where I can be a child of love once more
So separate was I then
From the feelings grown with age
Turn the page to see now that I'm older
And colder do I see the world
From shattered points-of-view
In emptiness shall I destroy
The "I" that haunts me through-n-through
Turning all my mirrors into windows
Looking at my life a different way
To let the mind go free and quietly wander
In golden fields where all the children play.
 
 
 
 
INTERWOVENNESS July 1983
 
Master of the Universe
How I long to understand
Your infinitely vast eternal plan
The interwoven relationship
Of a thousand destinies
How I long to drift amid the stars
Of endless galaxies
And I as part of you, now Lord,
Am learning to be one
To shine just like the sun
Brightening the way
To be as warm as summerfields
Where all the children play
I only wish to know the truth
Know all the love I am
That I may give to others, Lord,
That they might understand
Your unchanging law's perfection
And its reflection within man.
 
 
 
 
LOOKING FOR AN ANSWER Summer 1983
 
Been out on the road;
Seen alot of things;
Done alot of thinkin';
Felt alot of pain.
Known a lot of women;
Even loved a few;
Grown up in this body,
Won't need it when I'm through.
Goin' out tomorrow to find a better way
I'll be looking for an answer
In the sunshine's every ray.
Can't believe in what they say
Gotta find out on my own;
Looking for an answer
That's why I'm on the road.
Never was too good
At the games that people play.
Lookin' for an answer
In the sunlight every day
Lookin' for an answer
That will show me of the Way.
 
 
 
 
 
 
THE DANCING UNIVERSE Summer 1983
 
One...
Within the dancing universe
A note in the infinite harmony
The true spectacular
Float the falling petal of the lotus
Glowing with radiant light
Lie peaceful in slumber
Till the silence wakens in stages of growth
The tiny lotus blossom
In galaxies of splendor
Unfolds the way of truth.
The Wonder of the absolute
The realm of perfect law
Somehow contradiction is a key
Awestruck by the paradox
Every door neatly unlocks
And shocks with understanding
Until silence sets you free.
 
 
 
 
Untitled Summer 1983
 
You have many things
That I love you for
You're like a sunny day
Each day I love you more
Can't you see
You're the whole damn world to me
You're the mountains, and the shore
You're what I'm lookin' for
I've searched the world to find
The answers for my silly mind
But still, I see your eyes
Are looking straight through me
And then, someday, I fear that you will go away
In haste, I pray, that you will always
Stay...
I called you my lover
You pulled your knife
I put out my helping hand
And you, you gave up on life
Oh, what a shame to give up
Oh, oh, oh, oh what a shame to give up
On life.
You stole my heart one day
Then you went away
I sat alone at night.
You have a heart so dear
And if you ever go away
You know you're always welcome here
I hope one day you'll come to stay
All I know
Is that I love you so
You're my morning, my night
You make everything alright.
I finished my quest
And now it's time to rest
For the day,
And then, I'll do it
All again.
To gain your love, above all others
That things seem to be
Alone, inside, with nowhere to
Run and hide.
 
Untitled Summer 1983
 
When I told you that I loved you
How we danced amid dreams
Of a life so eternally serene
Effortlessly in love; together
Yet now
In my silence
I wonder of your presence
And where it might reign bright
Certainly not within these walls
Which I call home
for now.
As I search deep within bottomless thoughts
Appearing from darkest emptiness
I find silence to be the friendliest
Feelings I have known.
For silence won't confuse me
Nor mislay my love aside
In silence shall learn to fly
Within so shall I hide.
 
 
 
Untitled August 1983
 
Growth into a new age
Dawning like a sunrise from the sea
A rising of that which only Truth could be
Rising up inside of you and me.
I can feel the pressure growing
Changing what I thought was knowing
Into sun and moonlight glowing
On either side of me.
Once I thought I held a key
Seeing things no others see
But it was all delusory
And things I thought were real.
Time in my life
Never passess beyond now
Yesterday, tomorrow don't exist.
I can't resist the feelings of another world
It's all going on right now.
Yesterday is over;
Tomorrow, just a dream.
Yesterday is over;
Tomorrow, but a dream.
Today I lie in fields of clover
Beneath a bright sunbeam.
Though I may be waiting
For something new to come,
There is time for all to pass
And lie beneath the sun
On summer afternoons.
If I could give one gift to you
I'd give you all my love
The moon and stars above
And lie beside you endlessly
In silent fields of green
Beneath a bright sunbeam
While the children laugh their lives away
A wish I dream and hope to someday see.
 
 
 
 
WAITING FOR THE ONE August 1983
 
Standing at the edge of the ocean
Looking out to sea;
Don't know what I'm looking for
Just hoping something's waitin' for me.
Had me a lady one time
Back in my memory.
Can't describe the way she was so fine
How I long for her company.
Once, my love to her I swore
Majestic were the clothes she wore
She tapped the raging torrent within me
I swore to her I'd never stray
On that infinite eternal day
But like all good things I knew it couldn't be
Yet in our time, rainbows we'd ride
Skyrockets to the other side
A glimpse of heaven
Momentarily
I loved her like the morning's dawn
Echoe within on and on
Fly'st upward now that you are free
My love for you
Outlasts eternity...
 
 
 
GENTLY DOWN August 1983
 
Once I saw an April shore
Majestic were the clothes she wore
Quietly she sets my mind at ease.
Won't you please come walk along beside me
Past the shops on the avenue
And I'll show you a daydream in the sky
Like kaleidoscopes and rainbows falling
Shattered in the air.
Lost without a care
As time flows by.
Once I knew you, April dream
Your crying wind still sings to me
Softly, when the roses open wide.
Gently, when my mind goes down
Down through the alleyways of town
Someday, when my mind is at ease.
Gently, when my mind floats by
Through the window I see outside
It goes by and by and bye and bye...
my love.
Tenderly, my love grows bright
Softly all throughout the night
Quietly when the dawn begins to break.
I'm going down
You know I'm going down
Down to a new day
If you want to follow me
Throw all your cares away.
'Cause I'm goin' down
You know I'm going down
Down to a new day
Oh, I'm going down in my mind and my heart
Is gonna rise in a new way.
 
 
 
 
Untitled Summer 1983

 
Used to say "hey, you're spittin' dude."
That lead into "hey, you're rammin' me, dude; don't do that."
Troy once said,"I'm squinting in the glare
And spitting in the air."
That continued and evolved into the legendary
Character of Spitz Ramhard. Spitz was a guy who
was perpetually ramming you. He was always
spittin' on you, too, every time you tried to
go anywhere with the guy he turns into Spitz
Ramhard.
 
 
 
 
INDESCRIBABLE SENSATIONS Autumn 1983
 
In my life I've traveled many miles
And never seen such beauty as that within your smiles
I've waited patiently for love to be shown
The emotions you bring about in me
Are the deepest I have known
I have no explanations
Only indescribable sensations
That lead me to believe
I'm falling in love with you.
I pray I'll say the right things
And not act as a fool
Who dreams of diamond rings
To secure my love eternally for all to see
Yet I seek to know you
As a soul and one of light
I need someone to hold me
When I'm wrong to scold me
And be with me throughout the darkest night.
 
GRAIN OF SALT Autumn 1983
 
I took it with a grain of salt when I found out
A good part of what was going on
They said, "o.k., we're going to start bringing you into it now
But you're going to have to write us a few songs."
I said, "Hey, don't worry, there's really no problem.
Can't I just live one life in peace?"
They said, "Good, you've got one of the answers
But you're gonna have to do some work for a clear release."
If you'll remember to sit awhile in silence
And listen to the answers that are shown
I think you might be able to understand
The path along which love has once flown.
You know I didn't speak a word after that
I just kept well enough to myself
"Hey, right on!" was the way I looked at it
In the path of my greatest love
Will I find truest wealth.
 
Untitled Autumn 1983
 
I am no one
I have nothing
This is absence
No
Negative
Bombard
Destruct
Boil, Disintegrate.
No, Negative, Bombard, Blast Structure
No one, Anybody, Help me, Face
Down, Feeble Fingers, Giant, Bottom,
Fixture, Towering embodyment, Graceful
Destruction, Blankness, Anywhere, Delineate,
Fracture, Cast, Cool, Stream, April,
Autumn, Love, Meaning, Life, Nipples
Beginning, Ending, Letter sending,
April, Come She Will, Entrapment, Do,
Re, Mi, So, Fa melody, Structure, Form,
Fountain, Fingers, Death, Autumn,
April, Moonbeams, Floating, Endless
Energy, Expanding, Limitless...
Universe.
 
 
 
LIVING WITHOUT YOU Autumn 1983
 
Hi, just thought I'd call you
To say Hi,
I can't tell you why
Just I feel so strange
Goin' through this change
Of livin' without you.
Baby, I don't know what's happening anymore
Wish I could surrender to your love once more
How I long to hold you silently in early darkness
Of that misty morning freeze.
 
 
 
 
Untitled Autumn 1983
 
We've all done our day thing
I don't want to do no more
Show me where the sunsets
Into the nighttime's open door
Gazing to the stars
Like looking off from shore
Across the cosmic sea of time
Endless lightyears vast
The hour hand is sweeping
I see darkness falling fast.
Her hair shines shimmering light
Glimmering softly in her eyes.
Now forever in my heart
What once was in my arms.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Untitled Autumn 1983
 
Far is the distance one must travel
To find the true form which is formless
Many is the time one loses sight
Of the true goal which is no goal
The darkness follows me endlessly
Until pure light sets me free
The way of completeness is as narrow
As the tiniest strand of thread
With the light of heaven
Must the spirit be fed
Downfalls are many
The triumph is One
Within lies the answer
That shines like the sun
The motiveless stillness brings the true living force
Inward and upward the flow and the course
The slow transformation
A chance at the dream
The eternal relation
The underlying theme.
Thousand-petaled lotus flower
Blossom in galaxies of splendor
Bathed in silvery light
Glowing, wonderously bright
Unfolding
In thy radiant depth
You open up my Heart-vision
To the Radical Intensities of Love
 
 
 
NEW JESUS October 1983
 
I'm sayin' my prayers to the man upstairs
'Cause I know if there's anyone,
He's the one who cares.
We need a new Jesus
To pull us all through
Send a new Jesus
So we can find our way
Back to you.
I'm singing this song to the one's who hear;
'Cause I know if you're anyone
You want to be clear;
Send a new Jesus;
The old one's all gone;
No one believes us,
So I'm sendin' my prayers to you
In a song.
Somebody send me a brand new Jesus;
Someone who knows what it's all about.
I'm gonna keep waitin' for my brand new Jesus
But in the meantime, I guess I'll have to live...
Without.
 
 
 
LOVE: THE MOTHER OF LIFE October 1983
 
My Love of a thousand lifetimes
Might I find thee once more
Precious One that I adore
Once my heart was split in two
Then that feeling came in you
One again, through love for life
Might you this time shine a light
Bring me wings of endless flight
Shine on me; Love:
The Mother of Life.
 
 
 
 
 
WHEREVER YOU ARE, I LOVE YOU OCTOBER 1983
 
Wherever you are in this world of illusion
I want you to be with me
Wherever you are, my darling rainbow
I want to make you see
That I've been in love with you forever
And I guess I always will be
Words could never come close to the feelings
I've held within so long
Wherever you are, I just want you to know.
Someday I'll learn to let it show
In some way you can understand
Wherever you are, I love you now
Wherever you are, I am.
 
 
 
 
OLD FASHIONED DREAM Autumn 1983
 
How I dream of an old-fashioned girl
With lovely blonde hair and soft, floating curls
The one who makes dinner
And believes in a home
I dream of the girl that I've never known.
How I dream of an old-fashioned girl
The one that could really make you feel love
The kind of girl who was sent from above
The one who loves children
And watching them grow
I dream of the girl that I wish I could know.
How I dream of the girl with that look in her eyes
The look that says "Make love to me"
But yet I'm still dreaming
Like a lighthouse still beaming
To guide a ship in from the sea.
 
 
 
 
Untitled November 1983
 
I think I need to write now
'Cause my lady`s not around
She told me that I'd see her
And then she let me down
I guess I've been uncool to her
And maybe I've been blind
The past is catchin' up with me
Oh well,...
Learn to be kind.
Looking t'ward the future
Who knows what happens then
Over into April
Who will be my friend
I guess I'll wait along time
Maybe then she'll come around
I'd half a chance to meet her
Somewhere without a sound
Somewhere without a sound.
 
IN THE END November 1983
 
I can read below your skin
I see the meaning there within
I can tell from every move you make
I know there is no more love to take
It's already been taken.
Don't think that I don't understand the way you feel
'Cause I know; I've been down that road before
I decided to walk through the open door
And escape...
I know that I'll see you again
In the end.
 
Untitled November 1983
 
For some reason I know that phone won't ring
For that same reason I know my love won't sing
Not today, anyway.
Love has left love
And I am empty
Empty as a bottle of wine.
But not as sad as I could be
Love left gradually
Luckily...
I knew her when
She was lonely
I her when I was only
A boy all alone without love
She's given me love
She has taken it back
She has always been free to be one
With whomever she chooses to be
It used to be me
Luckily.
 
ONCE AGAIN November 1983
 
He drove up the highway
To see the one he's loved for so long.
It seems lately that she's been so far away.
As he asks himself again where it went wrong...
Where it went wrong.
He loves the lady still.
Thought in time he's forget her; he never will.
They've been through pain, but old scars can heal
He reaches out his hand
For her to feel,
For her to feel
Once again...
And he says lately how've you been?
They talk across the surface
But they want to touch within
He wants to know her
In a richer way
She longs for the fullness
But can't explain oh, oh, oh,
What do they do.
 
THE FLIGHT OF THE EAGLE DECEMBER 1983
 
Live like a warrior
Fight like a king
Know what you're after
You'll wear the ring
Don't go too far
Don't go too fast
Live for the moment
Watch it go past
Live is unending
When you understand what`s correct
Relax and move upward
Implode and reflect
 
 
 
 
Untitled December 1983
 
Once I thought that I was free
And wandered around aimlessly
But someone wanted me to know
Really know...
What freedom was
And taught to me the nature of
Love.
Then I learned to see it all
Even though I'm only small
It's o.k. to be free
At ease.
It's o.k. to be free
At ease.
All answers are available
Say, please.
 
HOLD ON December 1983
 
Hold on,
Help is on its way
Jesus ain't comin' back
But he just sent me here to say
I love you
Won't you love me, too
Then we can be in heaven
Right now.
 
 
 
 
Untitled Late 1983
 
After the end is near
After it's over
When we come back again
Will you be my lover
I need a friend who'll be
Endlessly loving me
Wouldn't that be such a change.
Now that the end is near
Now that it's over
Isn't this endless mystery uncovered
In a bright sunshiny day
Isn't there a rainbow at the end of the storm
Isn't there love to keep me warm.
Is there no friendship without restraint
I don't wanna be something I ain't
Can't we just sit down and talk it all over?

 
 
SET THEM FREE JANUARY 1,1984
4:00 a.m.
 
People keep telling me their craziest notions
They say I've become a genius overnight
I really don't think they're right
I mean what have I done
That's really and different
From a white-feathered dove
That takes to flight
I spoke to them with numbers
And they didn't understand
I spoke to them with reasons
And they turned on their fellow man
Someday I'll speak with feelings
And then they'll learn to see
That everyone's a genius
They just need love to set them free
 
 
 
Untitled January 1984
 
We're on
We see the Wizard
The wonderful Wizard from Is
He's a wonderful wizard who's mastered the Was
And is ready to get down to Biz: Because
Because
Because
Because
Because
All should be aware of the things he does...
Turn on and see the wizard
The Wonderful Wizard from Is.
 
I DO KNOW January 1984

 
I do know a little something
About the way things are
But I can't tell anyone
Because they wouldn't understand
Or if they could
They wouldn't believe it.
So I sit...
Knowing.
I do know what makes the world
Cause I have seen the truth.
And I can say I know the answers
Although no one wants to hear them
They think that they're too busy,
Busy listening to their thoughts
Continuous and endless
That little voice within them.
When you stop the internal-dialogue
And listen, you will see
The world you thought you saw
Was only a view
And there are other parts of you
Waiting to be found
If you have the strength to go forth
Silence is the Sound.
 
 
 
 
QUIETLY COMES THE BUDDAH February 1984
 
On the other side of silence
There is peace
On the other side of light
I will remember
Know in completeness
I do not bend or stray
To see the purpose of eternity
In flickering city lights
As I see today.
 
 
 
 
Untitled Spring 1984
 
I'm lookin' forward to going to sleep tonight
It's like going to the movies
I'm gonna sleep gonna dream of a different land
It's like I shift into sleep
I'm in a different land
It's like going to the movies.
Shout it from the highest mountain top...
LIFE...LIFE.
 
 
 
 
 
SILENT UNDERSTANDING Spring 1984
 
It came without a warning
And it made a presence known
No one made a move;
No one made a sound.
The feeling was around us
To guide our way in flight
A silent understanding of
The always endless power
In the light.
Who could tap eternity's forces?
Well, anyone could try.
If only for this moment,
Which leads me to that place.
To that far-off remote edge of the galaxy
Somewhere deep in all of space
Somewhere not so far
From a silent understanding base
Here and now is the end of the chase...
Here and now is the end of the chase...
...Here and now is the end of the chase.
 
 
 
 
HIS WILL Spring 1984
 
It was in the morning
A child was born
And as he's lookin' at himself,
He wonders what on earth he's for
But then he puts his finger on it
`And he holds it very still
Knowing there is more to life
He learns to tap his Will.
His Will.
No one seemed to notice
'Cause no one really understands
What made the child a prodigy
In the age of modern man
But he put his finger on it;
Lord, he holds it very still
Knowing there is more to life
He's strengthening his Will.
His Will...
And then one day it came to pass
The prophecy fulfilled
When wisdom fell like autumn rain
And every heart was filled
With love...and understanding.
Well, one day the child became a man
And oh, the things he said
Would brighten up the darkest night
And straighten out your head
Because he put his finger on it
He had the strength to hold it still
He knew that there was more to life
He made things happen with his Will.
His Will.
 
 
 
 
BEYOND THE HORIZON Spring 1984
 
I've been through that door and down that hall of light
I've witnessed the uncertainty with all its never ending might
I came back here by a will that is not my own
And since that time, a whole lot of answers have shown...
Shown... shown... Like a light on the darkest of nights.
I've been up to heaven, but it really isn't heaven at all
It's a very large dimension
That really leaves me feeling very small
There's more responsibility to balancing yourself within it all
And greater opportunity to stumble, loose your balance and fall
Fall... fall... And find yourself back on the earth.
That was the experience I had
They all called me mad
Sometimes I find it sad
That nobody here wants to know
Nobody here wants to go
Beyond the horizon.
The horizon of the mind
ARTIST OF TRUTH Spring 1984
 
Quiet night of silence
Lamplight flickers down
In my heart the glow of new life
Enter into dreaming
Feelings of well-being
Catch and hold a feeling of light.
Silver beams of starlight
Images of white
Ripples on the ocean of life
Empty into silence
Rays of ultraviolets
Speed of thought now timeless in flight.
Who wouldn't love a dreamer
One found to be the Heart.
Maybe he could show them the truth
"it would take an artist
The finest in the sky;
I hope he shows up soon in our world."
I know art will cover the earth
Like the rainfall of autumn
The season of change
Misty and Gentle
And Quiet.
 
 
 
 
WHEN I WALK ALONE Spring 1984
 
It was only yesterday
When the sky was soft and placid
As we walked alone
Together
On ten hits of acid.
Surrounded by eternity.
Knowing within of that feeling
Which grows only in your presence.
I could see forever in your eyes
And the love which brings me peace.
Whenever I must walk alone
I think of you
And your presence fills me complete,
Burning as a fire within my heart.
 
Untitled Spring 1984
 
Gentle are the breezes that blow
Flashing through the trees below
The waterwheel's in motion for the mill
Even still, the garden lies shaded
On Thursday afternoon
The effervescence of silent sunbeams
Are flashing brilliantly across my vision
With a faint caress of understanding.
Untitled March 1984
 
Yesterday (March something) I had an experience
That moved me from within
Changing my views of the world.
In a maddening way
How does one learn to deal with THAT?!
I kept feeling it coming on
Over and over
Overwhelming intensity
Power so strong...
It's inconceivable...
WELCOME HOME April 1984
 
Speak to me of silence
And quietly understand
All is but a question
And I am but a man
Life is but a seedling
Growing of its own
Love is the greatest happiness
I've ever known
For in its deepest moment
I was then conceived
All that is came but from love
In what else need we believe?
Welcome Home...
Welcome Home...
Welcome Home...
Welcome Home...
I am but a soldier
Going as to war
In a battle we call life
That rages evermore
It's the spaces that we share
With the others of our kind
That teaches us to take to heart
The balance of our mind.

Welcome Home...
Welcome Home...
 
 
 
Untitled April 1984
 
Everything that manifests is physical reality
Manifests first in the mind
Quiet the mind
Quiet the mind.
Everything that manifests in spiritual reality
Manifests first in silence.
Born of the opening of the heart.
Quieting the mind is like taming the Beast
The Beast that rages within
The Beast that seeks to control
The Beast that keeps us from being whole.
I seek only to quiet my mind
And witness what is beyond the horizon
Of my knowing
This is the process which needed this lifetime
To be fulfilled
To be silent within
Silent without
Feelings thoughts or emotions
To dissolve in to the ocean of awareness
Illuminated in surrender
Flowing in the current of power
Swept away...forever.
 
 
A VISIONARY PERCEPTION OF CHRISTHOOD Easter 1984
 
Jesus Christ was a seer of an ancient time. He openly
professed to the value of becoming a seer, for seers have power
to perform amazing acts! He abundantly helped others to help
themselves to become seers. Only seers have the power to
understand the way to the kingdom of heaven. Only a seer can
perceive the actual truth and know the way it really is. God
grants spiritual vision to those who are truly dedicated to
living balanced lives, to those who wish only to enter into
peace.
The Christ spoke to many as a means to transmit his power
into a mass experience where it could be witnessed and its
potential assessed. He strove to create a world wide awareness
among the western cultures of the latent spiritual dimensions in
every individual. The deeper dimensions into which the natural
evolutionary progression will continue. The Christ was a man of
tremendous discipline and understanding. So much so that he
actually transformed himself from a man into the living spirit
while still remaining intact on the earth. He passionately loved
the mystery of all existence. To the point that he travelled the
world in search of knowledge and guidance. His spirit was
unalterably determined to succeed in the transformation to
eternal awareness.
Across the world and in everytime, there have always been
human beings who understood the value of handling awareness, of
making it spread across the totality of oneself and beyond. As
Christ grew into the magnitude of this awareness, there were
other seers in other remote parts of the world who could help him
understand how to cope with it. He was compelled to seek them
out, and once he had, he immensely enjoyed their friendship. He
was always thankful for their kindness, they would teach him how
to handle powers that seemed enormous to ordinary men. He was a
bright young man and a very gifted learner.
He possessed a quality of trust that just isn't seen among
even the most diligent seers. He was truly blessed, yet his
mundane life as a carpenter and his struggle from day to day kept
him from seeing himself as above or below any other living
creature. For the Christ saw it the way it is, and he knew his
equality with all living beings. For he knew how it is and his
knowledge of how it is gave his awareness the power to spread
further across and deeper into the unknown reaches of the
totality of himself. Until one day he had almost completely
acquired the totality of himself and was ready to leave the
earth.
 
 
 
 
A Visionary Perception of Christhood
(continued)
 
When Christ knew that his time on earth was coming to a
close, he drew deep into the wilderness to be with the leaves and
flowers. He humbled himself in the bosom of his mother earth.
He sat quietly in the company of the trees, knowing the peace
that only trees can know. Knowing the knowledge of the leaves
and of the flowers. Being one with all the quietude and
peacefulness of the forest for perhaps the last time. He would
marvel at the great sense of well being that could be attained
among the simple things in life.
His Seeing revealed to him that he could not be free and
leave the earth until his knowledge was securely planted in the
awareness of other key people. People who would keep the
knowledge alive on earth for future generations. It was then
that he left the quietude of the mountains and returned to his
homeland, where he saw the greatest need for spiritual balance.
He had chosen disciples that they might keep his knowledge alive
after he was gone.
Jesus of Nazareth had long since been transformed into the
totality of himself: the Christ. It was his intent to help
others understand of the potential Christ in all. The totality
that everyone should strive to attain. The totality that would
give men the power to know God directly and see life beyond this
world.
The task was truly staggering in its range, and the insanity
of the townspeople grew to enormously hysterical heights. Such
is the power of a seer when it is misunderstood. This is why
almost all true seers prefer to remain totally unknown. There is
no way to know why Christ became such a highly public image,
perhaps he knew about you and I way off in this distant future
and perhaps he cared whether or not we had something to guide us
spiritually. Perhaps he loved you and I enough to make sure that
we had something to guide us to the realization of the Hearts'
infinite joy.
But Christ was the seer and the knower grown to full
maturity, and he played the unfolding events as like a harpist
making music. He turned masses of people t'ward God, t'ward the
Great Mystery of Life. The uncertainty of the unknown mystery
brought ordinary men to high anxiety. But the faithful
experienced pure wonder; balance by love for the Christ whom they
trusted as the Chosen One, The Fulfillment of the prophecies.
 
 
 
 
 
A Visionary Perception of Christhood
(continued)
 
Christ knew his fate and was one with it yet he used his
will to instill an awareness among the human beings of the west
that they, too, could experince the same marvelous transformation
he himself had. He wanted them not only to listen but to hear;
not only to look but to see. He wanted people to discipline
their minds and become seers so they could perceive the truth
within everything. And some did.
Above all, Christ upheld the truth. Even when the denizens
of illusion threatened his life. Christ saw through all their
illusions and challenged their illusions with truth. The
government of that part of the earth could not stand hearing of
the Great Governing Power that controls all of existence. Christ
was threatening the illusion of the pharisees' power over men.
The pharisees were highly anxious to be secure in their
illusion once again. They wanted very much to do away with this
Christ figure because he brought with him the truth. The truth
that would ruin the pharisees' power and set ordinary men free.
So the pharisees seeking to control the material world around
them, set out to do away with Jesus of Nazareth once and for all.
The Christ was quite beyond them all and saw through all
their illusions. He played along, though, so as to go to the
very heart of the illusion: Death. This is where Christ played
the entire drama to enigmatic heights. Showing others that
sufficient power and awareness can triumph over death. That a
powerful seer cannot be killed or die for his power is too vast
to be quenched by ordinary men, and his awareness too keen to be
caught by the shadow of death.
Once he was face to face with death, and he knew many, many
onlookers were aware of him. Christ went silently to the cross.
In the heat of the intensity, he spoke his last few words to the
public before he dismissed his spirit from his body, before he
unsheathed his shining sword soul. His power was such that he
could perform incomprehensible acts that were incalculable to the
scope of average human reason. He knew how to handle powers that
ordinary men could not even conceive of.
He publicly healed the sick and dying, cast malevolent
spirits out of possessed minds and gave the lame the power to
walk. Surely he had ample power to heal his own body after being
nailed to a tree. His energy was so great that he could change
reality according to his intent. He could alter the beliefs of
others with the power of his absolute certainty.
 
A Visionary Perception of Christhood
(continued)
So it is written in the scriptures of an event that gives
hope to all humanity.On the third day he returned to reanimate
his flesh. Or perhaps it was even more complex than we can
imagine. For the Christ knew that man is energy and now with the
blessing of the Great Universal Power of God(intent), he
converted his corporeal body to a pure energy state and was free.
He now had complete command of the totality of himself. An
unfathomable state of being that only a determined seer can even
begin to realize.
There was a super being(spirit) from the Eternal Kingdom who
took form and appeared on Christ's behalf at his tomb. The
spirit was surrounded by a blaze of light and its infinite energy
burst outward with such dazzling brilliance that the ladies
present fell on their faces in awe and bewilderment.
"He is alive." The Angel said to them and gave them a
message to return with.
Christ appeared to his disciples in human form only once
again to reassure them of his power and to show them in no
uncertain terms the way to everlasting awareness and life. He
was as free as the wind in those last days after the
crucifixtion. As a Seer, he was a man of pure intent and
powerful will. He could materialize or vanish his human image in
any place or time. His concern was that his brothers understand
the beauty of the human potential fully realized and developed,
the blossoming of consciousness beyond itself to infinity.
Then as his designs drew to completion and his knowledge was
explained to his satisfaction, Jesus, the living Christ, gathered
his disciples out along the deserted road to Bethany to teach
them the final lesson a man of knowledge must learn: To shed his
identity and merge with the total light; the total awareness of
all time and things, to cast one's Very Heart upon the Patterns
of Infinity.
The Christ assured his brothers even in his final moments on
earth to be not afraid. "...And be sure of this (c)that I am with
you always, even to the ends of the earth." With that, he
ascended to the higher realms for he had sufficient power to
enter the Kingdom of Heaven. The disciples thought they could no
longer see him, for he disappeared into the light of the blinding
sun. But he was now one with the Divine Light and no longer
needed form to express his immeasurable spirit. The disciples
were left staring into the light.
And then the light was gone...
UNIVERSAL LIGHTS Summer of 1984
 
Oh, blue light, how you tease me.
How you never let me see you
For more than this fleeting instant
How I long to hold your gaze
And follow you,
follow you,
follow you... Always.
Pure White Light, how I long for you
To disappear in your vast purity
And melt within your eternity
How I dream to see your blaze
And be with you,
Be with you,
Be with you... Always.
When I'm goin' down,
Goin' down for the last time,
Let me see those universal lights
Shine on me; oh, yeah.
To help me realize
That oneness with all things
Can be.
Pure Yellow Light, how I look for you
In every twilight hour
Just to feel your awesome power
How I wish to see your face
And live with you,
Live with you,
Live with you... Always.
Pure Redlight, how you bring such fear.
When you teach one to be fearless
And remain emotionally clear.
How I long to hold your gaze
And feel one with you,
One with you,
One with you... Always.
Pure Green Light, of mirror-like wisdom
Have I forgotten where you shine
In your endless realms divine
How I long to know your ways.
And fly with you,
Fly with you,
Fly with you... Always.
 
 
FLY SOMEDAY TO FREEDOM July 4, 1984

There will be times in a warrior's life
When he will see the understanding
Underlying everything
And he will know what he has to do
To have a chance to try to renew
The awareness that will fly
Someday to freedom.
There will be moments on the warrior's path
That are unimaginably demanding
Just withstanding everything
But he will know what he must go through
To have the energy to renew
The awareness that will fly
Someday to freedom.
 
 
 
 
 
HIGHER REALMS Summer 1984
 
Higher realms;
Take me to the higher realms
Shooting down a tunnel to a sea of light
Burning with a fire within so bright
Higher realms;
Take me to the higher realms.
Like a shot
Smooth and true into the air
Flying high, spinning fast into the center of truth
Shining brighter than the living proof
Like a shot
Take me to the higher realms.
He was a man
Who grew into a sunbeam
Searching far and wide for the meaning of life
Showing others of the inner-light
He was a man
Taken to the higher realms.
 
 
 
BOMBER DOOBIE Summer 1984
 
I got me a little somethin'
An' I'm gonna light it up
It's somethin' really stoney
But it ain't radical enough
I'm gonna need some partners
To help me burn this down
'Cause when we get it spinning
I start hearin' sounds
Sounds from out of nowhere
Lost in purple haze
Need to find some partners
To help me through this maze.
 
Untitled Summer 1984
 
What makes the sun burn?
I mean, where does it get
Its energy? Where does it go
When it dies? What is a
Black hole? Does it just
Pull everything into nothing?
Can you use its dark force
Productively? Are there methods
Of using a black hole for
Getting momentum for time
Travel inthe physical
Realm? I know all these
Questions have answers.
I know someone knows.
I would like to know
Whether I'm capable of understanding
The mechanics of how to learn in
These realms of understanding.
Are there things that can hurt me
Above the Third Dimension; or
Is it all just my own imagination
That is making it all up to teach
Me my lessons.
Can I graduate when I'm done with this?
 
RUN TO THE LIGHT Summer 1984
Written with Troy Russell
Before your soul
Takes to the sky
You want to know
You don't know why
Where will you be going to
What kind of things will you be going through
Here's your chance
To know what's right
To spread your wings
And take to flight
Love is the only way
To find the light and fly away.
Man takes to flight
Run straight to the light
Ride the wings of darkness
To the edge of night
Take to flight
Edge of night
Run to the light.
It's only answers
That I know are deep inside
It's the thoughts that can't keep still
Which make it hard to find
I'm gonna try...
I take my mind
I take my heart
Balance them within
I see a new reality
And a better world begin
I want to tell my friends
Man takes flight
Runs straight to the light
Rides the wings darkness
To the edge of night
Take to flight
Know what's right
Run to the light
Take to flight
Know what's right
Take to flight
Run to the light
Run to the light...
 
DREAM TEACHERS Summer 1984
 
If there are things you would like to learn
That they don't teach in school,
Look inside a dream tonight,
Into another world.
You may find there's someone waiting
Out there hangin' round.
To show you all the answers
To those questions that you've found.
When my day is over, Yo,
I wish for the highest dream;
One that takes me far beyond
And shows me everything.
Some folks like their limitations;
Well, I got a few of my own;
But I've learned when to let them go,
To see what else can be known.
 
 
OUT OF CONTROL Summer 1984
Somebody tell me what the hell is goin' on
Too many things are happening
Everything is wrong.
Don't know what I'm gonna do
I'm feelin' pretty scared
What a crazy world
We've been livin' in here.
And it seems so out of control
Living in fear still apart from the whole
Why can't I wake up?
Why can't I see
That I let this happen to me?
And then I get this feeling'
That I can surely die.
It's out of control
And I don't know why
Why can't I let it go
Just let it be
Slip out the back door free.
It just feels so out of control
When I think with my head
But not with my soul.
It's out of control;
But how can it be
That I'm letting this happen to me?
 
SEESAW Summer 1984
 
Love is like a seesaw
Up and down we go
As we slowly learn to know
What we're dealing with.
Her love is just like mine
Giant oceans at a time.
I wish that I could make a rhyme
That would even come near it.
But if you listen close to love
You can hear it
In her breathing
In every movement
In every gesture that she gives you
From her eyes
Always a surprise
Often times love cries
But I never felt a sadder time
Than when her love finally dies.
 
 
 
Untitled Summer 1984
 
 
Life is beautiful
Day upon Day
We can cast a new memory in our minds
Save the precious moments
Before they pass us by.
Love is fleeting
In today's unfriendly world
For each of us feels the need to be free
Yet can't bear the loneliness
Of meaningless conversations.
 
Dear Diary, Summer of 1984
Do you know me?
Am I the one you used to dare
To write down the craziest notions
And pretend that you just didn't care
I've seen you there beneath the table
Winking, as I walked by the door.
It's been so long since we once reminisced.
Dear Diary, will you listen once more.
I've been down to the seaside lately
And the Sun set in a rather befuddling way.
It was almost too clear to be real as we sat there,
It was amazing and I couldn't think of a damn thing to say
That radiating mass of incomprehensible energy
Just sank like a ball
Into the sea.
Then darkness came shadowing cooling the atmosphere
And the Crack Between the Two Worlds appeared
To me.
 
EVERYTHING'S ALRIGHT Summer 1984
 
Now that I'm older, I've learned to see
Things that I've never thought could be
The other's around me don't understand
But that's alright, 'cause I don't demand.
'Cause I'm a child; oh, of the total One
Learning to see behind the scenes
Within my Heart is a rising sun
And it will rise to eternity
Oh, oh, oh, oh,oh, oh.
Take a chance on the rock-n-roll
You might find more than you bargained for.
You might even fulfill your soul
whoa, whoa, whoa ,whoa,whoa,whoa.
If you feel that you don't feel right
Let your love be the guiding light
There's no need for us to fuss and fight
Everything's alright.
Let yourself be free
Open your eyes and see
whoa, whoa, whoa ,whoa,whoa,whoa.
You might find more than you bargained for
If you take a chance and a rock-n-roll
Only one thing'll make you feel whole
whoa, whoa, whoa ,whoa,whoa,whoa.
If you boogie with all your might
You might be one with the guiding light
Don't you know it makes you feel so out-of-sight
Everything's alright.
Let yourself be free
Open your eyes and see
whoa, whoa, whoa ,whoa,whoa,whoa.
 
 
 
Untitled Summer of 1984
Whatever brings you peace
Take it in
In full.
Whoever brings you love
Love them
And the love
Will bring you peace,
If the love is true.
Reflect this love
In everything you do,
Someday you'll find
That all this love
Is showering back on you.
 
YOU IS WHAT YOU AM! Summer 1984
 
I am just a warrior
Humble to the core
Few are those who walk the path with me
No longer do I suffer
No longer do I cling
I am now a warrior
I have no time for wasting.
I am just a warrior
I have no point of view
Living life in service of all beings
I am only an observer
Who sees the ceaseless flux
I am now a warrior
Getting straight to the crux
Of all matters.
 
LIFE (a.k.a. CIRCULAR ONENESS) Summer 1984
 
It's a long life
It's a hard life.
But it's good to know
That I can always turn to You.
It's a strange life
It's a big life.
But it's good to know
That my Love will always pull me through.
It's intense: Life.
Really mad: Life.
And I have to say
I'd really be sad without you.
It's a fast life,
Not a past life.
But it's here and now
And it's all I've got to do
Well, it's here and now
And I'd really be mad without you...
Without you...
Without you...
 
 
 
 
WHATEVER Summer 1984
 
Thoughts Form Illusion
Silence masters all
Axis of eternal wisdom
Purety of Purety's origin
Center
I
Beauty of unspeakable truth
Fountain of eternal youth
Unfold your enchancting mysteries at my feet
Let me know that which is mine to be known;
Let me know I am not alone.
Give me a friend
To make me feel complete.
 
 
MULTI-DIMENSIONAL MORNING Summer 1984
 
The morning begins
In a multi-dimensional splendor
Scant remembrances
Of various dream planes
With only an awareness
To nourish
When conscious attention
Can flourish
And brighten the day.
The poet laureate
Was examining the world
From his windows
Living beneath
The 90-millicycle hum
Of the city
He looked at the view
And then saw only it's shadows
A flickering movement and at once
It grew rather windy
He silently asked
That the guardians would quietly guide him
And open the way to the one who seeks only truth
When all the attachments and desires
Are set down beside him
He slips through the portal
His image a vanishing poof
Of air.
 
 
 
EVER-FREE 9/84
 
Ever-Free
Come back to me
Let me know where you have flown
Ever-Free
How can it be
That anyone could feel alone.
You are my Spirit
Ever-Free
How could you fly so high...so high
Even now I see you everywhere
Behind every pair of eyes.
Ever-Free
How I long to be
As etheral as you are
A light divine
In this heart of mine
Will be shining like a star.
 
 
 
 
ALIGN YOURSELF Summer(c)84
 
If you could align yourself
With the universe outside
You would find
There's been something
Missing in your mind.
I could try to define myself
And the world we see outside
But that would hide
The mystery
That lies beyond our minds...
...And I want you to understand
The way I really feel
Though my words do little to
disclose that which is real.
It's all imagination,
A dream or hallucination
This world is a fabrication
Of what you think you see.
And if you could align yourself
With the universe outside
You would find
That which within
Lies waiting to be magnified.
I want you to understand
The way I really feel.
Though my words do little to disclose that which is real.
If you could align yourself
You would find the truth and nothing else
If you had the power to see
The truth would set you free
Truth would set you;
Truth would set you;
Truth would set you free.
 
 
QUIET LIGHT BEYOND 9(c)84
 
There is a light
That waits for me
Beyond these inner walls
Quiet, centered
Breaking through
With which the voice of freedom calls.
Quiet light
Totality
Fragments flying, broken
Infinite awareness
Bursting outward
Within a realm unspoken.
 
 
 
 
KATHY (VERSION I) September 1984
 
I know a girl named Kathy
She's got a mind of her own.
She's got a boyfriend Andy
And they're gonna build their home.
I know a girl named Kathy
She never knew about me.
She's gettin' married to Andy
And that's the way it should be.
And I'm gonna cry when those wedding bells ring
'Cause I'm the one whose lost my love
And I'm gonna fly when I hear that choir sing
'Cause I'll be free as a dove.
'Cause I knew a girl named Kathy
But she never knew about.
She got married to Andy
And that's the way it should be.
 
I CAN'T HOLD ON MUCH LONGER September 1984
 
I can't hold on much longer
It hurts me too much inside
I can't hold on much longer
'Fore I cry.
I've been patiently waiting now
For my love to appear
When she finally shows herself
Brings me to tears.
I've been waiting so patiently
For love to set me free
And if her love ever comes to me
Ya know it's gonna be...
I know that she loves me
And I know love is blind
I know love is caring
Warm and kind.
I can't hold on much longer
It hurts me too much inside
I can't hold on much longer
'Fore I cry.
 
NEW LIFE October 1984

 
One must take into consideration the mind
Remembering to balance it well with the heart
Steady them into the level by tuning the will
When the three become one
A journey's begun
And a new life can start.
I could tell you stories of the strangers that I've met
And tales that have amused me for awhile
I could tell you something that you never would forget
Just be quiet in your mind
And love what you find
Become like a child.
Just be quiet in your mind.
Love all and be kind
Become like a child...
Become like a child...
Become like a child...
 
 
SILENT AND STILL October 1984
 
When everything's quiet
And I'm alone with myself
No need to wonder
Silent and Still.
Fading in mystery
Peace and Goodwill
In love with everything
Silent and Still.
Seeing and knowing
Through windows that fill
With light and love flowing
Tho' Silent and Still.
 
 
Untitled Friday, October 5, 1984
 
If there was something I could say
To make the pain just go away
I'd say it to you loud and clear
And then I'd want to hold you near
So near...
'Cause love is like a blossom flower
That grows and opens up with power
And beauty is it's springing child
Rolling in the grasses wild
And springing.
I used to be so free and easy
Never wondering what to do
But something happened deep inside me
When I fell in love with you.
I only felt your tender touch
Then anxious it would leave.
So cold and empty I've become
Without you in which to believe.
And then I know that silently
I will become my own
Solitary in the midst night
This will be my only flight
To be fulfilled alone...
 
 
NIGHTINGALE October 1984
 
She
Sings so softly in my ear
Whispering the knowledge that I hear
Oh, she's flyin' like a nightingale
Is free.
She
Shows me all the ways I never knew
To do the things I've always wanted to do
Oh, she's flyin' like the nightingale
To me.
She's flyin' like a nightingale
Oh, she's flyin' like a nightingale
High in the sky like a nightingale
Is free.
She
Loves me like no one I've ever known
Because of her, my heart has surely grown
She's flyin' like a nightingale
Whoa, she's flyin' like a nightingale
High in the sky like a nightingale
To me...
To me...
Oh, she's flyin' like a nightingale to me.
I know because my heart is on fire
She is my love and my one desire
She is all I could ever want
To be.
High in the sky like a nightingale
Is free...
 
LOVE October 1984
 
Love is the visitor
I run to embrace
The kind peaceful sweetheart
Of soft-featured face.
Love is the visitor
I wait by my door
Until I feel love,
Until I feel love
Once more.
Love is the stranger
Only seldom my heart
Does see such a light
Passing by in the dark.
Love is the visitor
A soft-spoken truth
A sweet simple melody
To which I danced in my youth.
Love is the kindness
The warmth of a soul
Passed to another
With a heart that is whole.
Love is the visitor
I embrace now and then
In the flight of my spirit
In the eyes of a friend.
Love is all-encompassing
All pervading force
That asks not one question
And sets a new course.
Love is the life-giver
The touch of a hand
The sweet quiet starlight
A purpose to stand.
Love is the oceans,
The mountains, the hills.
Love is the laughter
That rings even still.
(continued)
 
LOVE (continued)
 
Love is a calmness
And acceptance of all
Compassion, Forgiveness
The rise and the fall.
Love is a softness
On the edge of my soul
Like the coming of nighttime
Softening day glow.
Love is the passion
That fire in the night
Who warms you so tender
Love dissipates fright.
Love is a quietude
The beat of a heart
Wrapped in white linen
Yes, love is an art.
Love can't be mistaken
Love can only grow
Love is a heartlight
In those few who know.
Love is a patience
A purpose; a will
An unbearable longing
Of a heart to be filled.
Love is a silence
A peace deep within
A soft summer breeze
A call from a friend.
Love is so boundless
No limits, it knows.
Love is an eternity
That grows and grows.
Love is a million
Yet love is The One
Love is the moon
And love is the sun.
 
 
LOVE (continued)
 
Love is the patterns
The Universe weaves.
Love is the vision
That the Mystic perceives.
Love is the magic
My soul can't contain
Love is the reason
I walk in the rain.
Love is a poem
That I cannot write
With unending verses
Unending delight.
Love is a sadness
And love is a joy
Love is a girl
When love is a boy.
Love can't be resisted
When love is divine.
Love is the heart
That balances mind.
Love is perfection
Too swift to hold
That rushes by quickly
As we stand in the cold.
Love is the Jesus,
The Buddah, don Juan,
Love is the essence
Of that which lives on.
Love is the wind
My words but a puff
To describe it forever
Would not be enough.
Love is a moment
Eternally wide
That surrounds us and guides us
From which we can't hide.
(continued)
 
LOVE (continued)
 
Love is understanding
Wisdom and light
The wind beneath the wings
Of an eagle in flight.
Love is the laughter
That rolls uncontained
The answer to questions
That no longer remain.
Love can't be spoken
Tho' poets may try
Love is the light
That guides those who die.
And if by some chance
Someday it would come
That the whole world together
Could suddenly be one.
Love would be that
Through which we would see
This is the way
It was always meant
To be...
Love is always meant to be.
Love is a feeling
A presence so clear
Love is the visitor
That I wish were here.
 
 
 
Untitled October 29, 1984
 
Sitting in a park, and I'm chanting
At the leaves blowing by me on the ground
As I pound on my tablet and my words
That I'm writing sound like an ape.
Freely letting all my feelings fly
For someone else to remember me by
After I die. I can't imagine why
I cry when you sigh at the words,
"I love you." I really mean it when I say it
But I guess you haven't seen it
You've always been too busy, too busy looking at yourself
Invisible detectors protrude into your mind
Leaving you blind to what is free
Inside of you and me.
 
EPHEMERAL BEAUTITUDE November 1984

How I long for her sweet caress
And the quietude of her beating heart
In the silence of a fresh broken morning
When I feel her wrapped alone with me
In new white linen softness.
To see her tranquil eyes sparkling with desire
From the lacey pillow cases of our room
When the first ray of sunlight comes shyly
Peeking through
The flowery curtains on the windows
By the garden.
Wind(c)mixed emotions blow by like warm sunlit breezes
Swirling through the morning mist in silence
Electrical magic plays upon her hair
In rays of ultraviolets
Illuminating every fibre
Of our beings.
 
 
 
 
Untitled November 10, 1984
 
She came 'round
Like a gentle mist
On an autumn day
She turned me 'round
Turned my world around
The other way.
All my life I've waited
So alone.
But then she found me,
And oh... She took me home.
 
KATHY (VERSION II) November 1984
 
I know a girl named Kathy
She's got a mind of her own
She's got lips like candy
And she makes my house a home.
I'm in love with Kathy
She's in love with me
We always feel so happy
'Cause that's the way it should be.
Truth is like sunlight
It makes love grow.
That's the one thing
That I know
And my home is like
A garden of love
Let it blossom
Let it show.
I'm in love with Kathy
She's in love with me
We always feel so happy
And that's the way it should be.
GRETTA GROUCH November 1984
 
I woke up late last night
Rolled over in my bed
I couldn't find my love at home
I found Gretta there instead.
Gretta won't relax with you
And Gretta doesn't care
You'd better hide
Your heart inside
Whenever Gretta's there.
I love to love when love is pure
Love to make love even better
This I remind myself when I find
I'm face to face with Gretta
Gretta Grouch.
Gretta doesn't call you
Gretta's just a grouch
Gretta picks at all your sores
And nags you when you slouch
But Gretta's not there all the time
It's only now and then
That Gretta comes and cools the heart
Of your lovely girlfriend.
I woke up this morning smothered by affection
Left for work and called her back
Found her off in another direction
For Gretta came while I was gone
And kidnapped my sweet lover
For she was suddenly mad with me
And left me for another.
 
 
Untitled November 1984
 
Today I don't feel worried
About what happens from here on out
I understand what's going on
With all those things they talk about.
I got a lady who likes me alot
But she can never be happy
With what she's got.
She's got wandering eyes and she's drunk all the time
Gotta let her wander
She can never be mine.
She starts to like this one
But oh, that one's just so nice
Never thinking twice
Of the trail she's left behind
In her mind she's been happy
And isn't that the clue
To the secrets locked inside of you
Something you wish you could do
But just don't have the heart for.
 
I JUST WANTED TO KNOW... November 1984
 
Somebody show me understanding
Somebody show me love
Help me through
these empty hours
Of which I've had enough
Don't want to compete
Only this life complete.
I don't know just what you're after,
But I can clearly see
Love is all
that really matters.
Somebody, set me free.
All this life
I'll wait
For one who can relate.
And I just want you to know
That love
can grow
And I just wanted to know...
Love.
I know life is not just laughter
'Cause I have surely cried
But when my love is fully centered
Flowers grow inside
My heart is warm for thee
If only you could see.
And I just want you to know
I love
you so
And I just want you to know
It's true...
I'm in love with you
Can you
feel it,
too?
 
 
 
TEACH ONLY LOVE November 1984
 
Whatever you feel inside
May not be long on earth
What you believe is right
May bring hurt.
Now I don't know 'bout love
But it sure knows about me
I couldn't speak about Love...
 
Now what you know 'bout love
I couldn't clearly see
But I sure felt your love
Within me.
What I know about love
And what we fail to see
We are made from love
You and me.
Now we know about love
I think we can all agree
Keep it inside your heart
Eternally...
 
 
 
Untitled Autumn 1984
 
Beyond esoteric mystery
The veils have been lifted
Create a universe of your own
A system of dimensions
A stairway to realization
An experience
In your evolution.
When, oh, when
Is there time, my friend?
When, oh, when
Was it yesterday?
Tomorrow? Today?
What's it matter, anyway?
Where, oh, where
Have you flown,
My yellow wings of freedom?
Why have I longed
This whole life through
For your sweet caress.
 
SOLITARY FLYER October 1984
 
Solitary flyer,
Knowing that which lies
Veiled behind silence.
Solitary flyer,
Condition full alert
Blasting through your
Shieldings of illusion
Though there may be few people
Who know the things you know
Solitary flyer,
Your condition to be so.
 
LOTUS FIRE Autumn 1984
 
Lotus Fire enter quietly
Light the stream in golden rays
Show me silently of the ways
Leading to the heart of meaning
Lotus fire life's redeeming
Bright transforming flame.
Oh, Wise Ones of Supreme Worlds
Take me in thy care
Show me what is there
Bring me peace
Make me aware
I desire to know.
Those who seek wisdom
Will not have to travel far
For she goes around choosing
Those who are worthy of her
And shows herself to them freely in their path
Those who rise early to seek her
Will not look far
For they will find her waiting at their doorstep
And they will dance together
Upon the flowing edges of the dawn.
Living the example
Of the radical realization
Of Understanding
 
Dear Hubert, November 1984
Greetons, paraflect expandius cronebiglius
Pantathagoran bijectul. Expaladian bangnok zeptor
freedlon wiglamazoo. Manga zorn freebage
Zordnon Zebec Candite forma langly sorlon indeptul
iena crieb zek f~un ayapa yapa do don.
Frept Lingyur mangop zinbloob nighflect
increption oreception anglor.
Ixbaronep,
WegFrak.
 
P.S. Montiphon, Montiphon, Montifon geptol!
Imbulicus Ramdalam
Bingirpenien Slornan. Shalom.
 
Untitled Late 1984
For T.W.
Well, do you think you can do that
To yourself everyday.
Well someday it's gonna
Catch up to you
And someday you're gonna pay.
(For these things that you've done
To yourself.)
Constantly fooling around
With your health.
Don't you know
That you'll never be free
Unless you come to grips
With yourself mentally.
 
Untitled December 1984
 
Controlled Reaction
Good love is hard to find
Emotional wreckage everywhere
Who knows what's on my mind.
All you ever do is bitch
A constant snivelling sap
Who doesn't pay attention
To the deeper understandings
Of the heart.
 
 
 
THE FORCE THAT'S WAITING December 1984
 
I think I'll live for beauty, light and wisdom
I think I'll live for the love they bring to me
I think I'll live all my life
For one purpose
And what a wonderfully, challenging life
It will be.
I think I'll learn to implode and reflect
With the power.
The Force that's waiting silently in me
And savor every moment; every hour
Until that one day comes when I'll be free.
 
 
 
January 1985
Naguella en la siempo bulduram boca
Quando ustedes muldoon.
Biancho primero edwardo mota
en el pahoon.
 
 
 
MASTER PLAN January 1985

When every step I take
Is a step t'ward inner-peace
Every move I make
Reflects on understanding
And brings me to release
The holdings that weigh my spirit low
When inner light is clouded so that
I can barely see
I trust the flow
And just let go
To his design
The Master Plan.
My inner-light is flying free
Create the course of destiny.
Melt into the total-self
A wealth that's seldom known
Too few surrender to the power
Of his almighty hand
Allowing the soul
To guide its child
Into this Master Plan.
 
 
DREAMS January 1985
 
Last night I wakened in my dreaming
And saw myself asleep on the floor
I turned on my heels and noticed objects
Were so much more alive
Than I'd ever realized before
The walls of my home were quite transparent
When I launched my way up through the roof
And flew like the wind to another place
Where there was only light and truth.
I flowed in a formless sea of awareness
As bright as the day we were born
I realize that most other people could care less.
But i felt like I was changing, becoming and being reborn
Out beyond the beyond of my being
Into some massive realm so immense
My heart burst outward like the center of all time
In a power so incredibly intense.
Then there I was, once more in my body
Lying amazed on the bed
Trying to put it to some kind of language
Like the ones that I had in my head
I sat for awhile to remember the place
How I knew that we all are one.
As someone I know used to say
We are Pieces of the Sun.
 
Untitled February 1985
 
Jesus was a genius
He had a gift to understand
He wasn't just a son of
He was a part of "The Man"
He came around the earth
To show others what he could
It's too bad that so many
Misunderstood.
It's really quite simple
The answer lie within us all
We just need to understand
And then tear down the wall
The wall we've built between ourselves
And a vast eternity
It surrounds us every moment
We just need to learn to see.
 
 
 
CHILDREN OF ALWAYS (Reprise) February 1985
 
Children Of Always,
How I've loved you
In ways I know I could never tell.
I feel the silvery chill in my spine
And hear the ring of distant bells.
Children Of Always,
I have known you;
Though youth is such a vanishing thing
The child-like spirit of fire inside me
Is Dancing and whirling in my dreams.
And children,
Can you hear me calling?
Across energy fields where time and space flow.
So near to my heart, oh, this infinite vision
That guides me where Children Of Always go.
Peaceful and silent; the children are playing
Far beyond realms of a distant sky in bloom.
There is so much yet I have never witnessed
Like a child kept in a tiny bubble-like room
Can only assume what is beyond his limited perception.
 
 
 
PAINFULLY AWARE March 1985
 
Ever since I've been in love with you
I've been painfully aware
That you just don't care; I don't mind
Yeah, ever since I've been in love with you
I've been painfully aware
That you don't love me, too.
I don't mind.
But I'm struggling to accept this
As you look off in another direction
And I'm trying to protect this
The centre of all my affection
And still be true
To the heart and the soul
Of you.
I remember the first time our eyes met
I was then so painfully aware
There was no way you would ever care
And I left so alone
And so painfully aware
That the struggle of life would be so precious
If we could only share
Each moment in love together
In a world somewhere
If our hearts could feel no resistance
To the love that's there
There's no end to what we could do
If you'd only let me into
The heart and the soul
Of you.
 
 
 
KEEP THE FEELING (Poem from Barnie on his last day on earth)
March 12, 1985
Keep the feeling
Hold it well
Let me know you love me.
Keep the feeling
I can tell
When you're thinking of me.
Keep the feeling
While I'm gone away
I'll be thinking of you.
Hold that feeling
In your heart
And know...
I always love you.
 
 
 
BOOK COLLECTION (Or Dick And Jane For Adults) Spring 1985
 
These are by Richard
These are by Jane
These are by Carlos
They all feel the same;
That we could lie softly
On some cool summers eve
And soften the framework of what we believe
Then witness a marvelous, most wonderful sight
When within us is glowing a most beautiful light
To brighten our fibres in soft amber glow
The light of pure knowledge
The courage to know.
 
 
CHANNEL LIKE A RIVER (TO THE SEA) Spring 1985
 
I remember when we were humans
And we lived on a planet by a sun
Wedged into one personality.
But now our lives are everyone's
We exist as an energy essence
Far removed from times or a space.
Your intent is your destiny fate
You are cherished by those you cannot yet conceive of
But yet even now we are the source of your love
Soon you will grow into what we are
And you will then remember your primary self
The self you are and truly becoming
This will not take long if you have no resistance
To the onslaught of the other-self.
Accept the intensity as a warrior would
Always command the power of higher focus energies
Remaining calm in all phases of activity
May you become the totally conscious oneness
You are truly meant to become.
 
 
 
 
ON THE WINGS OF THE EAGLE April 4,1985
 
It's lonely here on the wings of the Eagle
Somewhere out of space
I could almost see it all happening
Almost taste the freedom
With my heart still longing...
For silence;
The world remains in place
Too soon it will be over
I'm erased.
Somewhere I'm lost on the wings of the Eagle
She quietly emanates
I could almost feel that deepening feeling
Our fate remains the same.
Although burning within
Are the flames of this one awareness,
This one chance;
To glide into eternity
On the wings of the Eagle
And Dance.
 
 
 
 
Untitled April 1985
 
Tonight I will fly
Beyond dreams into the light
To the clear space which is empty
Yet filled to the brim with power
Tonight I will fly
While my body lies in tranquil sleep
My perception will flow outward
And expand into the night.
High above the city lights
Living breath: Cosmic winds in flight.
Aware of every blade of grass
Blowing all the leaves
On every tree of life
Being alive as every living being
Flowing like a river of energy
Into the Sea of Total Awareness.
 
 
 
HIGHER GROUND Spring 1985
 
She searches for magic
But she'll never find
That one pure feeling
Never ending in time.
for that is beyond her
A wandering mind
To concentrate all
On a singular line.
And empty is that
which wanders around
Depleting in search of
Some higher ground.
But one who remains
Intent on the goal
Will quiet the mind
And fulfill the soul.
 

QUIET ONE April 1985
 
You are my sweet and quiet one
Beneath suburban sky
Though few words do you express
There are secrets in your heart
Where radiant treasures lie
And I find purpose, quiet one
Within your stolen kiss
For one who speaks without a word
From eyes that dream and soothe me
When I seem to drown in fear
You quietly remove me
 
BARNIE DOG May 1985
 
I got a little friend named Barnie dog
Barnie dog today
That's my little friend there: Barnie dog
Don't you go away
'Cause I'll be right beside you
All those nights and days
To grow you up and guide you
In, oh, so many
Oh, so many
Ways.
That's my little friend there: Barnie dog
He loves to run and play
Across the lawn and hills or fields and streams
Most any time of day
But don't you know 'round 'bout supper time
He's sniffin' 'round that bowl, don't ya see
He's lookin' for that Kal Kan meal
And searchin' 'round
Searchin' 'round
For me.
Love to lay around with Barnie dog
Bingo dog all day
Showed me how to kick back, Bigtime Boy
Don't ya know he's got it made
Ya know, the good times they never seem to last
Ya know, at least that's what they say
I was so surprised one day I looked in his eyes
He said, "Boss, my time on earth
Boss, my time on earth
Has slipped
Away."
Oh, please, no, Barnie dog
Don't you go away
Oh, I have loved you, Barnie dog,
In, oh, so many ways
All the good times that we had in the past
You know they haven't gone away
Somethin' in his eyes made me realize
There in my mind...
There in my mind...
There in my mind...
There in my mind...
All those times are in my mind to stay.
Barnie dog...Barnie dog...Barnie dog...Yeah...
 
Untitled Spring 1985
 
Within you lies the knowledge of all existence
There behind all you cannot accept
All around you is light, peace and energy
Whether or not you choose to acknowledge its presence
The curtain of your thoughts
Leaves you alone in a darkened room
Open the curtain
See the light
Let it fill the world.
Surrounding you now is an aura of love and plentitude
Hidden by the guilt you would not release
You were born the heir of eternal awareness
It is only a pity if you are not aware of it
What you refuse to be aware of, you cannot control
And controlling awareness
Is the key
To the gates of eternity.
Your awareness is like the yoke of an eagle's egg
There is a chance that it can grow beyond itself
To experience the freedom of endless flight
But the yoke must realize a transformation of itself
Just as you must realize also.
Expand the glow of awareness.
As the infant eagle
Breaks the egg
So are you born to eternity.
 
 
 
QUESTIONS OF AN UNINSPIRED YOUTH Spring 1985
 
Why are you here now?
Where did you come from?
What is it like where you are from?
Is it lonely there?
Can you move my assemblage point?
Can I learn to be 'formless' in this lifetime? How?
Is it possible for a man to leave this world and
enter another by his own power?
Can a man leave this world and take his body with him
into total awareness?
Could you describe total awareness and how to reach
it in this lifetime?
Do you have power?
What do you do with power?
Are you anything like an oversoul?
Could you tell us how to experience our oversoul?
Is eternity unbearably lonely?
Is the flame of awareness within a luminous cocoon
relinquished at the moment of death?
Would you consider the ideal of physical existence
to be for a person to seek the totality of himself
and dissolve into total awareness without dying?
Are we the slaves of our intent?
How can we humans control our intent?
Is it possible to become something beside a human in this
life and change back and forth?
What does perfect inner peace feel like?
What is total-consciousness any way?
 
Untitled Spring 1985
 
I can see the light of Christhood
Within each and every mind
He is in every soul
He is in the light divine
He is the essence of my being
The intent of all that I do.
He has merged in total oneness
And he's shown me I can, too.
Now I wait as time creeps forward
Surrounded by eternity
Yet I'm running out of time
Still determined to be free.
How I love the Nagual Woman
I have devoted to her
my every which and why
She is the essence of my laughter
She will guide us to eternity
...and sigh.
 
 
 
 
Untitled Spring 1985
 
Here you sit behind your
Wall of thoughts
Looking fearfully out upon the world
As if your thoughts had meaning
Fear not;
For the object of your fear
Is an illusion
And only that which He creates
Is real.
 
BEYOND THE BEYOND May 1985
 
Beyond Reason
Beyond Mind
Beyond Thoughts to hide behind
Lies a strange, but friendly face
Beyond, Time, Beyond Space.
A distant relative to you
That you may see Creation through
Dissolve a part into the whole
Become one with oversoul.
Beyond your mind there is an answer
Flowing like a hindu dancer
Wu-Li masters speak to me of time
Release all problems to one answer
Move along to greener pastures
Fly above time into the light divine.
Take a chance and see the truth
That lies beyond the beyond in you.
Take the time to change your face
And know the wonder of this place
Your only need is beyond your mind
So take the chance and let's go find
The infinite part that makes you whole
Become one with oversoul.
 
Beyond your mind there is an answer
Flowing like a hindu dancer
Wu-Li masters speak to me of time
Release all problems to one answer
Move along to greener pastures
Fly above time into the light divine.
 
 
PORTRAIT OF TRACY May 1985
 
Summer turns to autumn winter
Fade to spring the seasons change
Pieces of an endless picture
Only Tracy could arrange.
The silence of a broken morning
Beneath the velvet cirrus skies
Somewhere between waking and dreaming
Portrait of Tracy when you rise.
Could these words be spoken softly
Somewhere beyond time in quiet ways
When you waken in your dreaming
To know yourself in lighted rays.
Portrait of Tracy now has taken
To flight on a sky of love
Beyond sight so high above
The joyous patterns and images
No canvas could contain.
 

DREAM LOVER SUMMER 1985
 
I knew you so well
So well, beside the firelight
In the dream I saw the other night
Your memory is very clear
How good it felt to hold you near
But then I watched you disappear.
I held you so close
So close inside that fleeting dream
How unreal to me it now does seem
That look was in your eyes for me
So bright that you could only be
From beyond this reality.
 
 
NATALIE Summer 1985
 
You are my sweet vision of loveliness
A silent sigh sweeps over me
As I long for your faint caress
On a magically renewed morning
Somewhere lost in time.
It has been, these joyous years
I've known you, watched you come of age
And seen the change in your sweet face
As time turns another page.
I feel I could know love in you
And through your tender kiss;
See in your eyes where a fire lies
Too warm to try to resist.
Natalie,
Would you dance with me
So that in myself I might uncover
Some feeling of true love within
For you, and for no other.
 
MINDBLOWER Summer(c)85
Mindblower, Mindblower
Mindblower, your such a mindblower
Mindblower, don't know what you want;
Make a scene in the restaurant
Mindblower, you're like so immature;
Mindblower, Mindblower.
Mindblower, don't know what you need;
Always mad, you never could agree.
Mindblower, the truth is obscure.
Mindblower, Mindblower.
Headspace is hard to find.
Mindblower, you blow my mind.
Mindblower, your head's in the clouds;
Your motto seems to be: "No Truth Allowed."
Mindblower, you're like so insecure.
Mindblower, Mindblower.
Mindblower, don't know who you are;
You say you want to be a movie star.
Mindblower, you're always unsure.
Mindblower, Mindblower.
Mindblower, you're spinning around.
Spinning hard and then you hit the ground.
Go ahead, blame it all on the world.
Mindblower, Mindblower.
 
 
 
ANOTHER WAY Summer 1985
 
There is joy yet longing sadness
So there is a lighted ray
Piercing through my world perception
Showing me another way.
I could see in that fleeting moment
A light so pure and crystalline
Through the darkness of my emotion
Like a lighthouse beckoning.
But if only I could capture
That glimpse of light I could sustain
For much longer than a moment
In that light I would remain.
I could feel the coming winter
In the shorter and the colder days
In my mind's eye I was seeing
Seeing in another way.
Something breath(c)taking kaleidoscopic
Shining in and out of phase
An aura of love around you
Showing me another way.
 
 
 
 
FROM THE HEART Summer 1985
 
How I long to dissolve
In the total-self
Of which I am part
How much I need
To break-through
Into that state-of-art
Where everything flows freely
Where all is from the heart.
 
 
WALKING IN THE SHADOWS July 1985
 
The wheel of chance is turning
There's a choice you have to make
Opportunities for learning
There is a chance you'll have to take
There's so much more to what you are
So much you could be
Take the chance and make your move
Come walking in the shadows
With me...
 
 
 
 
THE THOUSAND FACES OF GOD July 1985
 
Last night I dreamed a dream
About the thousand faces of God
The magnitude and the power of the dream
Made me consider it as odd.
I had a dream so late last night
So deeply within I was touched
I saw a thousand faces smiling
To me it has meant to much.
I heard a thousand heart beats beating
Behind them all was a single source
All their various paths through life
were guided by a single force
The thousand faces were like a thousand petals
And the whole was the sum in blossom
Like sparkling lights on city nights
The view of the dream was awesome.
I remember the dream so clearly
And I'm seeing it here right now
Nobody knows how I feel about it
And it doesn't matter anyhow
I hope that it evolves into something
Where the limits are taken down
When I can dream a dream of a dream
Of the Infinite Rhythms of Now.
 
 
 
TWILIGHT SKY July 1985
 
There is no wind in the twilight hour
The air is still as power breathes.
And silence captures every moment
Giving way to mysteries
In the twilight of the evening
Power leaves its gift to those
Who have strength and understand
The twilight sky and what it holds
There is so much more to living
Then you may presently understand
Open up your mind in silence
The twilight sky will take your hand
And you know that it's right
Yes, you know that is right.
Behind the twilight
There is so much more than meets the eye
You may find an answer in the twilight sky.
In the morning of the evening
Twilight comes and those who wait
Find their peace in quiet moments
And find themselves in a heightened state
In the silence of the evening
Power yields a mighty blow
To those who have the strength to capture
The wonder that the twilight holds.
And you know that it's right
Yes, you know that is right.
Behind the twilight
There is so much more than meets the eye
You may find an answer in the twilight sky.
 
 
SILENT MEDITATION July 1985

 
Be at peace with yourself
And the world will be at
Peace with you.
When everything is smiling
The light will come
For you.
 
 
 
 
 
TO EMBRACE THE HIGHEST LOVE August 1985
 
Atma,
You are my heart's contentment.
This sweet moment of refreshment
When my mind is still,
You come to me.
Soft Breeze,
Blow on through my hair,
Dissipating all my despair.
When my thoughts fall silent,
I see you there.
And Atma...
I feel such peace within me now
Since that day I saw you.
I knew that you'd never let me down
Somehow I'd rise above it
For you, I've learned to love it
And all our lives can put us through
This world has never known someone
So beautiful as you.
 
 
THE OBSERVER Summer 1985
 
It's just another aspect of yourself
Although it sometimes comes to light
There behind the curtain of your thoughts
It's waiting; only witnessing
Consistently direct
Open up your mind
To the Observer.
 
 
 
Untitled Summer 1985
 
Let your Heart bloom
Like a Flower
In the Radiant Light
Of Infinity...
 
 
TO WHERE HAS OUR LOVE GONE Summer 1985
 
Is there something left inside
The empty heart you always try so hard to hide
I remember how you cared
And so often you would call me
But all of that has faded
We find no moods of laughter
Anymore.
Do you still have time
Could you still find
Something in that heart of yours that's mine
What happened to the caring
You once showered on me
All the quiet moments
We once spent together
Being human.
 
BE THE WIND Summer 1985
 
Today I'm having visions
Of a strange familiar kind.
I feel myself being the wind
I am blowing across time.
The wind becomes the seasons
And rolling like the sea
Does the wind touch everything
And everything is me.
I feel my self being the grass
And plants through all of time
Then melt into the soul of earth
Knowing feelings so sublime
Then I, at once, do melt away
Identities disperse.
Aware am I of All-That-Is
I am the Universe.
Like a child who plays in tune
With circles in the sky
The spirit dances like the child
Who in his dreams can fly
The winds come with acceptance
With acceptance follows peace.
It's o.k.;just be the wind
Accept and then release.
 
 
 
Untitled Summer 1985
 
I've heard some Astronauts say
You have to go off the planet
To understand
A pilot once told me
You have to know how to land
To understand
My parents used to reprimand
So I'd understand
One time my bosses canned me
I thought they didn't understand me
How difficult it can be
To try to understand.
 
EVENING SUPPER PRAYER 9/85
 
Heavenly Father,
Who is the source of all energy
Let us realize that in taking this food
We are taking the lives of your living things
That our lives may be sustained
Help us understand
That in the same way
Our lives will also one day be taken
So that they might serve you
By being hurled into the Universal Fire
That powers All Creation
Amen.
 
 
ANGRY WOMAN November 1985
 
Judgment has occurred
And now the woman is angry
So fiercely so
As if she were a victim of some kind
Angry woman, just let go and ease your mind
Let your heart remind you of another patient time
Angry woman, maybe you could see things differently
If you would care about the love I hold
For you inside of me.
Clarity obscured,
I just can't see why the woman is angry
I don't know.
Maybe she could never understand me
Anyway, she'd probably rather reprimand me
With the mood she's in today, I'd rather stay away
Angry woman, just let go and maybe you will find
The world will appear much brighter
When your heart is lighter
And your attitude is kind.
 
 
 
(I KNOW YOU KNOW) SILENCE UNDERSTANDS Autumn 1985
 
I know... You know
And we all know.
Silence Understands.
It came to me like an April morning
Crackling through the darkness of my fear
Brilliant hues of golden
Amber dawnburst bold and rising clear
Silence... silence.
Silence gives me hope and understands.
Silence... silence
I could not judge in silence
Could not help but...
Hear all...
The silence growing near to me and...
Silence...silence...
Silence showed me what it was to be set free.
Can you feel the silence in your heart
Silence...silence...
Silence makes it so I can understand.
 
 
I CAN SEE Autumn 1985
 
When I go to sleep at night
I know that it's true
There is more, an open door
A change I'm going through
I can see reality in my visions of the night
I can see surrounding me
A circle of light.
'Cause I can see...
I can see...
Take the blindfold off of me
I can see...I can see...
Open up my mind and be free.
When I see the bright sunlight
I know that it's true
It's the source, the guiding force
That makes me one with you.
I can see serenity in my journey t'ward the light
I can feel a love that's real
In my heart I know it's right.
'Cause I can see...
I can see...
Take the blindfold off of me
I can see...I can see...
Open up my mind and be free.
When you open up your heart to the light
You'll see things new
It's the spirit of all-that-is
That lives inside of you
We can know the peace and joy
And the wisdom that they bring
Feel the power trust your feeling
Open up and sing.
'Cause I can see...
I can see...
Take the blindfold off of me
I can see...I can see...
Open up my mind and be free.
 
Untitled Autumn 1985
 
To be a warrior is to:
Reach without reaching
To hope without hoping
To know without knowing
To speak without speaking
To hold without holding
To do without doing
To be without being
To die without dying
To wait without waiting
To live without hating.
 
MOTHER NATURE Autumn 1985
 
Nobody expected anything
Some people never knew
But buildings started tumblin'
Just like dominos on cue
There were mudslides on the mountainsides
In Columbia that day
Before those mudslides ended
They took many lives away.
There were 20,000 people dead
What's gonna happen next...
Mother Nature?
The whole town was asleep that night
Then the sun rose over the streets
A 30th story penthouse was soon a pile of concrete
Mexico City started shaking
And then tumbled to the ground
It was a very sad experience
If you happened to be around.
There were 20,000 people dead
What's gonna happen next...
Mother Nature?
It was out in Ethiopia
There was famine across the land
The people trapped by communism
The farm fields turned to sand
The children all were starving
They were wandering in the night
Why wouldn't someone help them
It was a very ugly sight
Countless people starving to death
What's gonna happen next...
Mother Nature?
The earth is like that
It always abides
It's just the way it is
You can never ask why
I don't know the answers
To me, it's a question, too.
I just see forces acting
What can you do?
Mother Nature...
 
THE PATH Autumn 1985
 
They diagnosed me crazy
Then they locked me up and laughed.
After their fun, they let me go;
Now I walk the path.
Only few can understand
So few who go the distance
To let go of themselves and fly
The path of no resistance.
It's sad to see them turn away
And sadder is their fighting
I wish they would let go and see
The path of all uniting.
Now I walk in loneliness
Away and t'ward the sun
I know the path of knowledge leads
Away from everyone.
So it is and So I am
I look at folks and laugh
My heart is filled with love for all
As I walk the path.
 
 
 
 
WEB WORK Autumn 1985
 
Just as fingers are part of their body
And a leaf is part of its tree
So it is, that God is All
The parts are you and me.
Just as death is part of life
Planets move around their sun
So are these lives to the Over Self;
So is God to everyone.
There is no such thing as separateness
There is no such thing as fear.
There is no such place as far away
Everywhere is here.
Our solar system spins around
Inside the galaxy in which it is spun.
Galaxies spin around the universe
The universes 'round the One.
So it is, connectedness
The webwork of the whole
The awareness that you're all that is.
Comes like memories from your soul.
 
 
GO FOR THE GLOW Autumn1985
 
Sometimes it's so hard to handle
Gotta get myself a drink or two
'Cause I feel the intensity rising
And I can never think of what else to do.
But luck'ly I remember
A key spiritual law
And recall a fleeting memory
Of a glow that I once saw.
Got to get myself together
Gotta' walk a straight and narrow line.
I can feel the resistance declining
As I accept and open up my mind.
Then all at once it happens
And I open up my sight
A vision of a light surrounding
Everything ignites.
Everything turns cosmic
When we're going for the glow
Blast beyond all limits.
Into what can't be known.
Become an open channel
Through the opening light will enter
When you become at peace and balanced
Go for the Glow
And keep your center.
 
 
 
Untitled Autumn 1985
 
When I was a child,
I wanted to know:
What made the sky so blue?
What made the grass grow?
When I was a child,
I wanted to see
A dream become a reality.
As I grew up, I promised myself,
That I'd give myself the best and more
And as time went by
I soon realized
It was the ultimate to be a warrior.
For all my dreams exploded with power
And the day became a visionary sight
Soon I saw how they both overlapped
Cut through the perception in which I was trapped
Then saw everything as light.
 
 
...IF I LIVE TO BE AN OLD MAN Autumn(c)85
 
If I live to be an old man
I surely hope that I will understand
All of the karma that I once had
All of the love that has turned sad
And my spirit will fly in the afternoon.
If I live to be an old man
I surely know I'll be an old hand
At fishin' trout from a clear stream
And opening doors in my dreaming
When my spirit flies in the afternoon.
When my years have come and gone
I hope I'll have the wisdom
To fly like a bird of fire
Into the twilight sky of life
If I live to be an old man.
If I live to be an old man
I hope I'll have the gumption
To get up and go for morning walks
To sit with the grandkids and have talks
And watch the children play in the afternoon.
If I live to be an old man
I hope I get to see the divine plan
And know the wisdom of the ages
Written in my soul's yellowed pages
And walk with the One in this heart of mine
If I live to be an old man.
 
 
LOVE IS GONNA FIND YOU December 17, 1985
 
If I could have only one day
I would want to be with you, my love.
If I could have only one thing,
I would want it to be you, my love.
'Cause your love(c)(c)makes me very happy
Awe, but my sky turned grey.
But I know...
Love is gonna find you, yeh.
If I could be just but one thing
I would want it to be true, my love.
If I could know just but one thing
I would want it to be true, sweet love.
'Cause true love
Is all I want to happen
Don't let the sky turn grey
True Love
Come on and let it happen today.
You know it's gonna come your way.
I'll tell you what's a happenin'
Love is gonna happen
Love is gonna find you, yeh.
If I could hold just but one dream
I would want it to be of you, my love.
If I could see just but one thing,
I would want it to be you, my love.
'Cause your love makes me very happy.
Oh, La, La, La, Yeh, Yeh.
'Cause I know, Love is gonna happen someday
I know it's gonna come your way.
You know what's gonna happen
Love is gonna happen
Love is gonna find you, yeh.
 
 
 
SEA OF LIGHT Autumn 1985
Ramakrishna Monastery
Sea of Light and the
Spiritual Sky
Swirling about in a fiery,
Shimmering Immensity.
God within meets God without
In Golden Red Blue afterglows
They merge in crystal meditations
Through variating energy fields
Of graduating intensities
To gain the power
Of spiritual sight
Brings one nearer
The Sea of Light
As we grow in ways
That lead us to climb
To the heights of the highest
Union with Brahman
May we live as Understanding
So it is
We are One
"So ham I am."
Jai Ramakrishna
 
 
 
FLOWERS IN MY HEART January 1986
 
It's late at night
And I'm alone in my room
With flowers in my heart
They grow in ways I'll never understand
I heard they're fighting wars today
In some distant foreign land
A foolish game that tears my flowers apart.
It's quiet and cold
In my peaceful little room
The flowers in my heart
Are turning t'wards the sunlight of my soul
They speak to me in silence
In their quiet little way
They seem to say, "To bloom is to be whole" not just a part.
And in my heart a flower grows
For every soul that gave its life in war
I pray someday we recognize
The futility of our ego games
And evolve above pointless violence forevermore.
Flowers of my heart
Blossom in my soul
Let me feel the joy of life
Let Love take control
Flowers in my heart.
Flowers in my mind.
Never let me stray from the Wisdom that reminds me to be kind.
 
 
TYRANT January 1986
 
How fortunate am I to know you
Oh, Tyrant of my life
For without you I would have no sharpening stone
For my warrior wits.
I can see your strengths outstanding
Oh, Tyrant, cold as steel
You crush the weak and quench the smallest hope
All in the blindness of your rage.
You seek to control the world around you
Oh, Tyrant, drunk with worth
You emerge victorious and glorify yourself
At some poor humble soul's expense.
I'm mapping out your weaknesses
Oh, Tyrant, vulnerable
When you lose control, I'll put the end to your charade
With my warrior wits.
WALKING IN THE SHADOWS January 1986
 
The Wheel of Chance is turning
There is a choice you have to make
Opportunities for learning
There's a chance you have to take
There's so much more to what you are
So much you could be
Take the chance and make your move
Come walking in the shadows
With me...
 
 
Untitled February 1986
 
Enter deeply into peace, my friend.
Silently thou fliest upward like a dream
Infracted rays of light now glisten as your body
All things you are Seeing in the true essence of being
The Heart is one and realized
Like a flower opens in sunlight
You are open and relaxed.
Let yourself be free.
 
 
 
Untitled Early 1986
 
Lately I've been wonderin'
Why the sky has been lookin' that way
It seems to me I've yet to see
Somethin' shine like the light of day
I found myself a lady now
Singin' oh, she keeps me feelin' so great
I'm talkin' 'bout a feelin'
That my baby sends when it's gettin' late.
Untitled February 1986
 
I'm more tired than I've ever been.
I think I'll lie down and sink within.
Deep into subconscious out flowing thought
Where taste and smell are apparently not.
I'm so tired, I really don't care.
If I ever find my way back from there
To be lost in a land of physical void
Would leave me not the least bit annoyed.
So up come the vibrations
And out goes my soul
Out of my physical being I roll
Into a timeless level of mind
No longer bothered by savage mankind.
Only what thoughts I create do I see
Whatever I want, In space shall I be
Forever in control am I
My consciousness will come with me when I die.
 
TIMELINE 2-13-86
 
I'm moving through this world
I'm on a timeline,
Timeline, timeline,timeline...time.
Seeing the path of destiny unfold
I know now that it's intent
Who holds the timeline
And keeps me flowing forward
To a future yet untold.
Timeline, timeline, timeline, timeline,
Timeline, timeline, timeline, timeline, time...
Oh, can't you see the exit sign
Moving down timeline, timeline...time.
Who holds the key to that emergency fire door.
I know now that it's intent
Who holds the timeline.
For when the fire within burns bright,
Spirits fly like eagles soar.
Won't be movin' down timeline no more.
Timeline, Timeline, Timeline, Time
Can't you see the exit sign.
Movin' down timeline, timeline, time.
 
TOOTHPASTE SUSIE February 1986
 
Toothpaste Susie,
Won't you send me a line
Oh, I've got your number,
Oh, I want to spend some time
With you, baby, on a moon-lit night
We'll be together
Dancin' in the sweet moonlight
And in the morning I can see your eyes
And feel the fire burning
Oh, you make me feel so high...high.
Toothpaste Susie,
Won't you let me know
Tell me what time you'll be ready to go
And we'll dance to the music under sweet starlight
We'll be together
Dancin' in the sweet moonlight
And in the morning I can see your eyes
And feel the fire burning
Oh, you make me feel so high...high.
Toothpaste Susie,
My heart's on fire
Oh, I'm being transformed by pure desire
Tell me, Toothpaste,
How can we know
What it all is
What it all means, oh, can you let it shine
Like the sun in the morning sky
I want to be with you
I want to take you with me
To the conscious heights.
 
(continued)
 
 
Toothpaste Susie
(continued)
 
Toothpaste Susie,
How can it be
Your life fills me up
Oh, how it sets me free
Into the oneness of the conscious whole
I want to be with you
Body, Mind and Soul
So when the transcendental Sun appears
We'll be together
Dancin' in the cosmic sphere.
Toothpaste Susie,
My heart's on fire
Oh, I'm being fulfilled by only desire.
Tell me toothpaste
How can we find
A quiet life together
To live in peace and open up each other's hearts
To the God inside
To learn about love, oh, and to feel the fire.
Let me feel your fire...
I've got to feel your fire
Oh, let me feel it lift me higher
I have got to feel it in my heart
Let me feel your fire...
Let me feel your fire
 
 
 
 
THE CHOICE OF A LIFETIME February 1986
 
And of one thing you can be certain
There will come a moment, friend.
And in that moment you will leave this
Leave this world forever more and
If you have lived a balanced, truthful life,
And if you have sufficient energy, you may
Try to choose total consciousness and
Your life will be hurled into the winds of eternity, you see
To become present in every blade of grass
To grow in every leaf on every tree
Like the sky across the desert
The paths that glide, the stars you see
If you believe that this is true now
There is life beyond this dream
And I'm not talking about death
There is a chance and there is choosing
Dance through the barriers to truth
Go beyond all you believe
There is a truth stranger than fiction
A mystery, too great to perceive.
Yourself is something to be aware of
The pattern the forces of life weave.
There is something immense out there now
Something too great to conceive.
The choice of a lifetime
Is staring at you and me
Right in the eyes come
Choose total consciousness with me.
The choice of a lifetime
It's the choice that sets you free
Be the master of your choices
Take yourself to eternity.
 
 
THE END IS SO HARD 2/86
 
I've got one thing on my mind
I want true love but it's hard to find
They say it happens only once
And you gotta make it stick
Well, I tried it so far
And all I got was sick.
Don't want no more pain
But without it, how can you gain
Cat said, "The Hurt" let him know what love is
But I never thought it would come to this
Because the end is so hard
And all I got was pissed.
The end is so hard
The slate is down
Nobody cares that love never comes around
Anymore
That's the time I'll be truckin' out the back door.
I've got one thing on my mind
I want true love but it's hard to find
They say it happens only once
And you gotta make it stick
Well, I tried it so far
And all I got was sick.
 
 
 
THE OBSERVER Early 1986
 
He's just another aspect of yourself
Although he sometimes comes to light
There behind the curtains of your thoughts
He's waiting only witnessing
Consistently direct
Open up your mind
To the observer.
THE SILENT SOUND Early 1986
 
Baby, baby, baby,
Don't mind me now
'Cause I'm gonna be
What I'm gonna be now
And if you want to follow me
Well, that's up to you.
'Cause you can be
What you want to be now
No one else can set you free now
But you can always find me round
If you need a friend.
'Cause I am always one with you
No matter what it is you do
And you can always find me around
'Cause I am the birds that sing
I am the love you bring
I am the ever silent sound.
Listen, Mr. Talker,
'Cause you can't fool me now
I can see things that you don't see now
And if you want to quiet that game
Well, just slow your mind.
'Cause you can believe
What you believe now
What you conceive, well, you can be now
Just don't be afraid to go on
And make the change.
But if you don't mind my sayin'
I'm your friend
The ever silent witness
Of the world you bend
Please understand
I want you to be free
And if you long for happiness
You'll...come back to me.
 
Untitled February 1986
 
Silently
I found my self...
Unfolding...
Into infinitely vast forms
Of higher selves
Wrapped within
Veils of deepening intensities.
Immense
This never ending
Path of knowledge.
Guiding me
Into totality of the self.
Only to set free
This knot of feeling I call me
To the infinities
Of incomprehensible energies.
Presiding as the Very Heart
Of all.
 
GEMINI GIRL 3-13-86
 
It's taking so long since I've been out on my own
To find the kind of love
On which I could build my home
Even though I'm secure
I'm alone in the world
I know the one thing I need
I need a Gemini Girl.
I got a big house in the countryside
A Ferrari car, if you want to go for a ride
Even though I'm a man
With everything the world
I miss the one thing I need:
Sweet Gemini Girl.
Gemini Girl,
Won't you meet me in the morning
Gemini Girl,
Won't you love me in the day
Gemini Girl...Gemini Girl.
I'm sittin' home alone on a Saturday night
My friends are all out; I wonder if I look alright.
They say that they know, they know what I need;
But there's only one thing that'll satisfy me.
It ain't no house, ain't no Ferrari car;
These things make no sense unless you know who you are.
There's only one thing I need;
Only one in this world;
One thing can satisfy me:
Sweet Gemini Girl.
Gemini Girl,
Won't you meet me in the morning
Gemini Girl,
Won't you love me in the day
Gemini Girl...Gemini Girl.
 
 
 
 
SONG WITHOUT A NAME 4/86
 
If you want to know than you've gotta find
The love in your heart and the peace in your mind
Shout one time for your own sake
Realize children that it's time to awake
From the dream we share of an objective world
Round and round and round we twirl
On a timeless band of energy
Lost in eternal infinity.
What you know is what you see
It's all your life will ever be
And what you see is what you know
And round and round and round you go
But one thing I think you ought to know
The power lies in your own soul
If you want to know then you've gotta try
To realize yourself now dont' be blind
To the wonder that we share
To the love in your heart and the magic in the air
When you realize then you will have found
The light in the center of the silent sound
And the glow of your spirit will be set free
When you intend the alignment of the Totality
Then you realize there is always more
Than what you ever really thought before
And the warrior in your heart will rise
To conquer the Power of the astral skies
One thing I should not need to tell
You gotta save your strength...save your strength
And use it well.
When you realize than you will find
The powers in the center of a silent mind
And you'll gain the wisdom hence
Learn to live in center of the Great Balance
Then all will come and all will go
And time will tell and you will know
But one thing I should not need to tell
You gotta save your strength
Save your strength and use it well.
 
 
Untitled Spring 1986
 
Temptation
What is temptation?
How does it work?
Why does it affect me?
A poor humble soul
Misdirected energy
Caught up in a living distortion
There must be some way to understand
Some way to recover
Those forgotten memories
Someway to grasp the clear truth
To see exactly what is
In its totality
I feel as if my awareness were a light
And my intent was a dimmer switch
That I could turn up with discipline
Or down with temptation
Temptation drains my inner light
A disciplined intent turns the light up
So I can see and perceive
The great truth.
 
SOMEWHERE YOUR HEART IS BEATING Spring 1986
 
Somewhere your heart is beating
Within the light that gives it sound
And in your eyes is a reflection of the love;
Of the love that brought you around.
Somewhere your heart is beating
In that immensity out there.
I know that I'll find you
For I wait and I am guided to remind you
Of a feeling of contentment we should share.
But I wait, for now...until your heart beat
Is pressed against my ear
For the long night's deep in dreaming
Are so warm for two so near.
Somewhere your heart is beating
In that immensity out there.
I hope that I find you
I hope only that I recognize you
Suddenly I find you
Everywhere.
 
SILENT GOD Spring 1986
 
Silent God in the sun of the sky
Shining down on me
Let peace light up the world
Let love rain down on the trees
Let me see forever
Soar and Glide into Eternity
Let me fly high like the sun in the sky
Let me know what it is to be free.
 
AMBER HAZE Spring 1986
 
Who are you?
I spoke out loud.
This is the answer that I heard,
"I am the sorcerer of your dreaming
Listen closely, child, speak not a word.
"Follow me across this shifting dreamscape
Beyond what you know or understand
In my shadow, I will guide you
To the total-self
That someday soon you will command.
"I am but eternal knowledge
Within your cells lying dormant now
I will teach you of tomorrow.
Listen, I will show you how.
"Though I may seem like a memory
I am yet your future wealth
Where I lead, you soon will follow
Dance along the glistening edges of yourself.
"Listen, child, and I will lead you
Somewhere beyond time
In amber haze
You will see the changing patterns
And control the way they rearrange."
 
(LOVE THAT) LITTLE LADY Spring 1986
 
Saw a little lady just the other day
I said I saw a little lady
Took my breath away.
Saw a little lady with her dress on tight
I could'a love that little lady
With'a all of my might.
Little lady, won't you throw me a line.
Little lady, won't you show me how to be kind.
Little lady, so young and free.
Little lady, won't you tell me
What you need.
Took a little lady out the other night
She was laughing and a dancing in the pale moonlight.
You know that little lady makes me feel alright.
Gonna wrap my arms around her and'a turn out the light.
Little lady, won't you throw me a line
Little lady, won't you show me how to be kind.
Little lady, so young and free
Little lady, won't you tell me what you need.
Little lady, with your dress on tight
Little lady, won't you show me sheer delight.
Little lady, so young and free
Little lady, wont' you tell me
What you need.
 
Untitled Spring 1986
 
Be a warrior
Turn off internal dialogue
Take inventory
Throw it away
Your command becomes
The Eagle's command
Free the assemblage point
Leave incomprehensible things
Incomprehensible.
 
DELIVERY TO MR. POWERS Spring 1986
 
I don't know how to feel lately
This runnin' round in my mind.
When suddenly you're faced with knowing
You've made the absolute find
You are everthing
As everything is you.
So quietly we see the truth
And learn how it is to be
The one who forms
And holds in place
This whole reality.
There is a room we've made
With curtains on the windows
There is a breeze outside the door
And the way it works is: it goes on forever.
As you can see, there is always more.
Don't be alarmed when a storm starts a risin'
Just above the horizon in your mind.
Twilight marks the hour
Your delivery to Power
When things are not the same
As they seemed so once before.
 
 
 
 
ALWAYS Spring 1986
 
Her eyes are like windows
To an inner-life
A radiant razor sharpness
Still so calm no strife
Peaceful in her mind
So gentle in her ways
I know I'll be in love with her
Always.
Her hair is scattered starlight
Her heart an open door
Her mysteries all shine
In the distance
On her universal shore.
 
 
 
THE GAP Spring 1986
 
Gather up your thoughts
Like leaves.
Put them all in bags
And set them on the curb
Before you know it,
The trashmen come
And sweep away your mind.
 
 
SIGNALS TO YOUR SOUL Spring 1986
 
While I'm listening to our surface dialogue,
I'm sending signals to your soul.
To quietly come and keep me whole
On these nights While I'm, oh, so scattered
We're talking about our daily life
But behind myself I'm losing control
Don't you see me sending signals...
Can't you see I'm sending signals...
To your soul.
 
 
 
 
NIGHTTIME IN ETERNITY Spring 1986
 
There is a place beyond your mind
And, oh, it lies so sweetly
In quiet realms of solitude
Return to the dream cities.
There is nowhere that's quite so free
And life like as our dream cities.
In endless free enchantment they remain
Cultivate abilities by brightening up the glow
Around the image you perceive
Around the group of selves you'll come to know.
 
 
TRANSPARENT MAN Spring 1986
 
Transparent Man
Don't know what to say.
Just gets right on "out of the way".
Transparent Man
Don't say "hi";
Just looks at you
With that gleam in his eye.
Transparent Man, Transparent Man
What he knows he also understands.
Transparent Man, the likeness of God.
Alive in the world
Seems rather odd.
Through him all power flows.
Transparent Man
Shows what he knows.
Transparent Man,
Oh, you are the one
Who is shining like the blinding sun.
Transparent Man,
A window to the light;
How do you get your love to shine so bright?
 
 
 
FOR THAT WHICH CAN NEVER BE SPOKEN Spring 1986
 
There is a life to be lived
As there is a dream to be dreamed
What are the contents of each
But an inconceivably wonderful world
My words cannot recapture complete
The vision I choose to hold
For there is so much in every story
That forever remains untold.
Within this untold mystery.
So much is left unsaid
So much left to imagination
That infinite range of discovery
Lying somewhere like a forgotten memory
Beckoning to us for recovery.
But the vision...The dream
Is a one chance to event
A personal realization
When an individual experiences
Himself as a part
Of Universal Harmonization.
 
 
 
PIECES OF ONE (WHERE RIVERS MEET THE SEA) May 1986
 
There is but One God; One Power; One Ruler over all things;
All others are but, at best, Prophets.
There is but One Nature; One Reality; One Truth that is all
things;
All things are but an extension of this One Source.
There is but One Belief; One Religion; One Love to guide all
things;
All things are guided, in their own way, to love the Oneness of
All things and to perceive that Oneness in all things.
There is No Purpose; No Goal; No Struggle for all things;
All things are Simply Present as the Perfection of the Spirit;
And therefore are free.
 
 
Untitled May 1986
 
Somewhere your heart is beating
Within the light that gives it sound
And in your eyes are reflections
Of the love... of the love that brought you around.
Somewhere your heart is beating
In that immensity out there.
I hope that I find you
For I wait and I am guided to remind you
Of a feeling of contentment
We should share.
But I wait, for now, until your heartbeat
Is pressed against my ear.
For the long night's deep in dreaming
Are so warm for two so near
Somewhere your heart is beating
In that immensity out there
I hope that I find you
I hope only that I recognize you
Suddenly I find you everywhere.
 
 
 
 
SHAMAN'S SONG June 1986
 
The spirits of the forest
Are all at your command
I've seen you retrieve lost souls
And you are an extraordinary man.
I've seen you dance in a circle
Chanting all night long.
How I'd love to come dance with you
And join you in your Shaman's Song.
"Follow me, follow my vision.
Follow me over the tree tops.
Look at the birds and butterflies, such colors.
You will never see on the ground
I am rising into heaven
Rising toward the sun.
I will enter the house of thunder
Can you see how all things are one."*
I see the light in the Shaman's Song.
Dance to the rhythm chanting all night long
I see the vision bright and clear
Oh, I feel the power thunder in my ears
I see the light
Whoa, I see light
I see the light in the Shaman's Song.
I see the light, whoa, I see the light.
I see the light in the Shaman's Song.
I see the light in the Shaman's Song.
 
 
(*excerpted from "Shabono, by Florinda Donner)
 
 
THE ONE OR THE OTHER 7/86
The One or the Other
It's all the same to me
The One is like the stars at night
The Other is a dream.
Love is like a Rainbow
Silence like the sea
I open up to the One within
Become the Other and am free.
"Everything becomes Nothing"
Everywhere I see
The One or the Other
Smiling back at me.
I've never known another
Who intrigues me like you do
When I dream, I am the Other
I see the One come shining through.
When I hold a feeling
It leads me to a dream
The One or the Other
Are never what they seem.
"Everything becomes Nothing"
Everywhere I see
The One or the Other
Smiling back at me.
Some things bring me problems
Some things bring me pain.
The One or the Other
I know it's all the same.
When I get that feeling
That it's later than it seems
I lay my body down for the night
And fly into my dreams.
Now I am the Other
And am closer to the One
The One is like the Mother
The Other like its Son.
"Everything becomes Nothing"
And nothing, everything.
The One is like the Other
A drop is like the Sea.
 
THE OLD MAN IN THE MOON July 1986
 
I've seen the ships set sail
From a thousand retrograde
Beneath the late night shadows
I've seen them all through time
The universe is a rhyme
And I am the old man in the moon.
I am the old man in the moon.
I've known the ages
Have seen them come and go
Watching the world r-evolve below
I know it sounds unkind
But you don't have much time
Your life will end too soon
But I am the old man in the moon.
 
 
COLLABORATING WITH GLEN O. Summer 1986
 
Like a soft, warm breeze on a summer day,
Like the curtains play on the window sill,
I feel my spirit rise in another way
Like a child at play in a cosmic field,
I can see the truth in me.
On the horizons of my mind
All my feelings breaking free
Birds of fire in the sky
I can see the light in everyone
And I know that love is like the sun.
 
 
PLACE IN LIFE July 1986
 
The moon is full and high.
Still rising to its apex in the sky.
And wonder of my place in life do I,
As my time on earth goes slipping by.
What mystery in the future might I one day uncover.
As sure as the rhythm of days and nights lead into one another.
My place in life at this present moment is not sure.
The feelings I experience are always changing from what they
were.
The people I spend time with, I'd love to call my friends.
But varying reasons cause distortions and our time together
Always ends.
The moon is full and bright.
Still ascending on its pathway through the night.
The cosmic universal rhythm of its flight
So wonderstruck, I gaze upon the beauty of the sight.
The revolving earth and orbiting moon,
The sun and all its planets are in tune;
And from my place in life gaze out at the galaxy do I
So fortunate to have this time on earth
Before I die.
 
 
THE WAY OF THE HEART (I'VE GOT A LINE) July 1986
 
I've got a line; whoa, I've got a line.
I've got a line straight to the heart on through.
I've got a line; whoa, I've got a line
To the divine; oh, let that love shine through.
In my heart
There is an answer
Shining like the stars in the evening do.
In your heart
There's the same answer;
Open the heart; oh, let that love shine through.
I've got a line; whoa, I've got a line.
I've got a line straight to the heart on through.
I've got a line; whoa, I've got a line
To the divine; oh, let that love shine through.
In your heart
There's a connection
Straight to the source; whoa, you've got a line
Move t'ward love
There's your direction.
Open the gates; oh, let that love shine through.
The Way of the Heart;
Follow the Way of the Heart;
Follow the Way of the Heart.
I've got a line; whoa, I've got a line.
I've got a line straight to the heart on through.
I've got a line; whoa, I've got a line
To the divine; oh, let that love shine through.
In your life
There's a direction;
Find out what it is; whoa, you've got a line.
You have to create love;
Come on and make that connection.
Open the way; oh, let that love shine through.
The way of the heart;
Follow the way of the heart;
Follow the way of the heart.
 
 
 
 
THE OLD MAN IN THE MOON July 1986
 
I've seen the ships set sail
From a thousand retrograde
Beneath the late night shadows
I've seen them all through time
The universe is a rhyme
And I am the old man in the moon.
I am the old man in the moon.
I've known the ages
Have seen them come and go
Watching the world r-evolve below
I know it sounds unkind
But you don't have much time
Your life will end too soon
But I am the old man in the moon.
 
 
SHE KNOWS WHAT LOVE IS Summer 1986
 
I said I got myself a woman
She ain't no man.
I got myself a woman.
And she understands about love
Yeh, she knows what love is.
I got myself a woman
She knows what man is.
Got myself a woman.
She understands about love.
Yeh, she knows what love is.
I got myself a woman.
She knows what I need.
I got myself a woman.
Don't abide by greed, she wants love
Yeh, she knows what love is.
Whoa, yeh.
Got myself a woman.
Cook my meals.
Got myself a woman.
She knows how I feel
She wants Love...Yeh, she knows what love is.
 
 
PLACE IN LIFE July 1986
 
The moon is full and high.
Still rising to its apex in the sky.
And wonder of my place in life do I,
As my time on earth goes slipping by.
What mystery in the future might I one day uncover.
As sure as the rhythm of days and nights lead into one another.
My place in life at this present moment is not sure.
The feelings I experience are always changing from what they
were.
The people I spend time with, I'd love to call my friends.
But varying reasons cause distortions and our time together
Always ends.
The moon is full and bright.
Still ascending on its pathway through the night.
The cosmic universal rhythm of its flight
So wonderstruck, I gaze upon the beauty of the sight.
The revolving earth and orbiting moon,
The sun and all its planets are in tune;
And from my place in life gaze out at the galaxy do I
So fortunate to have this time on earth
Before I die.
 
 
FOUR WHEEL FANTASY Summer 1986
 
I was wandering in some foreign land
Lost among the desert sand
Don't know much about what I see
But it sure looks good to me.
I was tramplin' out my own trail
In a four-wheel drive
Climb the highest mountain
Shoutin', "Hey, I am alive."
Spitting bushes in a brand new jeep
Gotta be at the top of the heap.
I was shooting down the freeway
Like a bat out of hell.
Losing cops in traffic
Who am I? They cannot tell
Swoopin' traffic on a Gpz
Gonna open it up and be free.
I was taken in by the farmers of the land
Spacing out in wonder and
Suspending in a violet haze
Intercepting purple interphase.
I was trippin' in the cosmos
I was out of my mind
I was soaring with The Eagle
I was in the light divine.
Cruisin' foxes in a black sedan
Gotta get in a four-wheel and jam.
Red lights a flashin'
440 H.O.
Open it up and go.
Red lights a flashin'
Can't catch me
Open it up on a GPZ.
 
 
 
Untitled Summer 1986
 
May the great governing power of the Universe
Smile upon you and guide you
To the highest enlightenment.
What I want more than anything
In the Universe
Is to be
The Universe.
 
 
THE ANATOMY OF MEANING Summer 1986

To state in words the nature of meaning as it pertains to
mankind's existence would be a futile attempt that would most
likely return full circle to its original point of departure.
Some form of guesswork or a worded webwork of confusion to
understand the nature of meaning itself, one must remove oneself
from the context where meaning exists so as to overview, its
total scope. To man, meaning is of the utmost importance to his
understanding of life. He sees an event take place or a
breathtaking sight of some kind, and he asks himself, "What does
that mean?" From that point, he assigns it a meaning according
to his individual interpretations of "The Reality."
The meaning is assigned by each individual according to that
individual's interpretation of the objective experience whatever
it may be. The word 'reality" in essence represents the
culmination and outward projection of these inner meanings. For
the world appears to us the way it does as a result of seemingly
endless series of meaning which we have assigned to the objects
that surround our being.
To try to grasp the nature of meaning, one must be able to
see the world from outside the reflective bubble of reasons. One
need only to intend to do so and strive to be unafriad of the
truth that will be found. To most people on earth, meaning is
the foundation of life. This foundation is at best shifty and
illusive, ever changing.
Meaning is given by an individual to the things of life.
The meaning is derived according to one's present interpretation
of reality. To see the overview of all meaning is to go beyond
reason. Meaning is something man gives to life. Life, in itself
has no meaning for life, in itself, is the framework from which
the aspect of meaning emerges. Life doesn't "mean" anything.
its meaning is something that each individual need only lend to
it of his own accord. What does it mean to you?
This overview of the anatomy of meaning gives mankind a
greater freedom in his mind. A freedom by which a man can extriȘcate
himself from the snarls that his reason would lead him into.
To search for meaning is equal to a child playing with imaginary
friends. Both are equal. The child finds meaning to life in
something that doesn't mean anything and the child becomes free
and happy in his mind. Man can recapture this same joy by the
simple realization that a highly-developed rational faculty is as
much a hindrance to a balanced universal understanding as it is
an advantage. Reasoning is a tool to the total being. One could
not build a mansion with only one tool. It would require many
tools; reason with its meanings being only one.
 
Untitled Autumn 1986
 
If you could know all you wanted
About anything you cared
Would you love to see beyond meaning?
To know what mystery lies out there.
I've had dreams about another
World I know which we could all reach
If you try and learn to listen
To the voice within your heart teach only love.
There is sand in every desert.
There are leaves on every tree.
One being has created all this
And it is within you and me
A vent within our inner being.
To breathe the air of eternity
And learn to go beyond all reasons
To the light that makes us free.
 
STOP THE WORLD Autumn 1986
 
Everybody's gotta stop their thoughts now
Gotta get on with the show.
Everybody's gotta stop their thoughts,
See what they need to know.
Everybody's gotta stop their thinking
To find out on their own
There is so much more we could be perceiving
Somewhere more we could have flown.
Everybody's gotta stop those thoughts now
To witness the Power of the Lord.
Everybody's gotta stop those thoughts
Or else you're just gonna get bored.
Up and down, over the same old terrain
Ain't much on a Sunday afternoon
But stopping those thoughts is an incredible high
And that's why I sing this tune.
Stop that...Stop that view in your mind.
Let your intention be your guide.
Stop...Stop...The world in your mind.
Let your heart flow outward
As the center of all time.
Stop the world and see for yourself
Seven Heavens wait silently for you.
When you finally undo this world
Then you'll see
Diaphanous White Light
Has been waiting patiently
For you...
 
WISDOM 10/86
I know a girl who lives by the Will
She is like the light on my windowsill
She briefly appears to me from time to time
Oh, I wish that girl...
Were mine.
She says that the spirit is always is free
Oh, but the girl is a mystery
The path that she walks is like one fine line
Oh, I wish that girl...
Were mine.
She lives as a light in the silent sky
Her heart is pure divine
If I could walk that one thin line
I know she would be mine.
One time she told me that love is the key
To unlock the doors of the light in me
She silently sings in my ear sometimes
If I prove myself worthy...
She's mine.
She speaks in terms that I understand
Oh, the lion lies down with the lamb
Through her I'm finding out who I am
Don't say I can't, cause I know...
I can.
She is Wisdom, pure, refined
Oh, she's so divine
She shines like a light in my heart sometimes
Whoa, I wish that girl...
Were mine...mine...oh, she would be mine.
If I could find
The love I need
I know a girl with the fire in her eyes
She feels, to me, like the open skies
Through her I am learning to be
Whoa, the mystical light
Whoa, the mystical light...in me.
 
THE SPIRIT OF THE LEAVES Autumn 1986
 
The Spirit of the leaves
Calls to me from its autumnal death bed:
"I will return next spring
To rest a while with you,
A while with you
Again.
"But for now
I must travel through the natural processes
As you, my son, will have to do someday
Of changing form and focus for replenishment.
The Changes that occur along the way."
Tired spirit,
Fall return to Mother Earth
Let her presence fill you with her power
Spirit of the leaves contented in the twilight hour
You know peace and silence
Like none I've seen
Beside the flower.
You are hooked directly into Mother Earth
And you live life as part of everything
You are content and in peace in every moment in every way
How I want to reflect you in my feelings
In the way I am inside
I think you realize what I'm trying to say.
Spirit of the Leaves
Flies from me
To rise beyond a distant sky
I know that she is one with me
So wild and free
Trascend the test of time
 
 
 
LOVE IS LIKE SUNLIGHT October 1986
 
If I had one word I could say to you
You know that one word would be "Truth"..."Truth"
And if I could show you the light inside of you
You'd know that one light would be you...you.
'Cause I'll shine a light on you, baby
I know just what to do
Love is like sunlight, mama.
Warm you through and through.
Tonight...Tonight
Warm you like sunlight
Tonight.
When you feel a bright sunlight surrounding you
You'll know all your dreams are coming true...true
Just like the carefree days of your childhood
Love will come...and fill you with her mood...her mood.
When you feel
A light on you, baby,
You'll know just what to do
Love is sunlight, honey,
Warm you through and through
Tonight...Tonight...
Warm you like sunlight.
Tonight.
 
 
 
LOVE IS ALL I KNOW 12/86
 
Hey, what're you trying to tell me
I think I might know
I see something sad behind those eyes
Something you try not to show
An empty feeling in your heart
Leaves you cold and so alone
How could I somehow try to show you
Love...is all I know.
You have everything you need
But not what you'd prefer
Like the flower grows from the seed
You've grown into this world
A little love is all you need
And that which I could show
Would surely help you feel complete
Baby...Love is all I know.
...And if you want to play a different game
Just send a little love my way
Then maybe I could show you
All of this love that longs to know you
You need only decide it's o.k.
You are like a dream come true to me
If that means much to you
I can see it in your eyes
It's there in everything you do
Like a child learns of the light
That grows within his heart
So it is I've learned of you
I've known it from the start
It's all I know...
 
 
SILENT AS THE RAIN 1-30-87
 
I need no reason to be here
I feel a silence coming down my way
And my love is like an ocean
Silent as the rain
Streams and Rivers silent as the rain.
Yes, my dreams are like a sea to me sometimes
And my heart is like a sailboat to me
Well, I go sailing on a notion
Silent on the sea.
Suddenly I realize it's all me.
And when I realize and
Open up my eyes and
See the world the way it's meant to be
I'm like a child again
Silent as the rain
Wondering
I'm feeling love and I'm silent as the rain.
My dreams are silent and my heart is running wild.
In this field of visions, I am like a child
Everything is such a mystery again
Silent as the Rain
I'm feeling love; I'm silent as the rain.
 
SATSANG SATURDAY NIGHT February 1987
 
Awakening in Satsang
Over the sky of the mind
Flying my love in satsang
Rolling down, holding down the line.
Breaking free in Satsang
Fillin' my soul with the One
All of my love is Satsang
This is the Real Prior Condition
Satsang everybody's goin' crazy
Satsang everyone is free, yeh!
Satsang, we know we're already ready
For Satsang Saturday Night...Saturday Night!!!
When I breathe in Santsang
Don't you know it feels alright to me
We're in My Love in Satsang
And there ain't no time or place
We've always been free.
We are one in Satsang
We are intensely alive
Feel the Heart in Satsang
There's no need to go
Don't you know we've already arrived.
Saturday Night...Saturday Night
Satsang Saturday...Satsang Saturday
Sweet Saturday...Satsang Saturday Night
Satsang Saturday Night.
Saturday Night!!!
 
 
 
FIND YOUR WAY 3/87
 
Hey, what's goin' on in your mind
I cannot see in the dark
Let my love be a spark
So we can feel
What is right
What is real
And know the way back home.
Hey, what's goin' on in your heart
Why do you feel apart
From the start you were free
But now you've learned how to think
And you've lost...
Lost your way back home.
Why do you continue lying to yourself
Don't you know that it's just a point-of-view
Don't you feel that you could try to find it in yourself
To let go of the cell you think is you
It ain't you.
Hey, what do you feel in your lives
Can you reach for the lights
Can you feel for the switch
Or is life such a bitch
That you can`t
Find your way back home.
 
 
 
Untitled Spring 1987
 
Something's wrong, and I just can't hide
Love has flown, and I feel so bad inside
Oh, girl how I have cried
My love for you has died.
My heart is cold, I just can't take it
Love is real, and I just can't fake it.
Oh, girl you know I've tried.
But my love for you has died.
Love has its lows, Love has its highs.
This is something we both realize
Can you see behind my eyes
My love for you has died.
I'm so sad, and my tongue is tied.
The love I held has grown so cold and died
Understand and let me fly
My love for you has died.
 
FILLED WITH EMPTINESS March 1987
 
Where...
Are we all now.
We're only here
And nowhere else; in time.
It's clearly the only truth.
My heart,
Taking the lead,
Shows me truth.
And I am freed; from mind,
Filled with emptiness.
It can happen to you
And all the dreams you had you will see right through.
Where...
Do we go from here.
Into the now
Into the clear; you'll see.
It's clearly the safety zone.
Your life
Will be much more free
From all the crap
That you don't need; you can be
Filled with emptiness.
Now...
Now is the time
For you to rhyme; body and mind
So the sun
Can shine through the clouds of your life
Here... is the only place
You need to be
It's only right...only free
You will see
You're filled with emptiness
... filled with emptiness.
It can happen to you
And all the dreams you`ve had will mean no more to you.
 
 
 
 
I NEVER KNEW LOVE BEFORE March 1987
 
Well, I...Never knew love before
'til you walked through my door.
My resistance all has died
And something has grown inside
This Heart that I never knew
Was born by this love from you
Feelings into my Heart you pour
I never knew love before.
So when I...When I look into your eyes
I'm Divinely mesmerized
By this love that you shine on me
Quietly setting free
This Life that has never known
The love you've so kindly shown
My heart is an open door,
I never knew Love before.
And when my heartbeat quietly comes to an end
I can say I have loved you
And when it's time for me to leave this world
I can become the light that's above you...And know
The courage it took you to show
This Love that I would never know
Had you not helped me open the door
I never knew Love before.
So I...Open my heart to you
And Love fills me through and through
Like sunlight destroying the night
The dawn of the morning light
Suddenly now I see
The way I was born to be
The ship finally reaches the shore
I never knew Love before.
 
 
MOON AND SUN Spring 1987
 
Moon and Sun
Are all a part of the one
Life and death
Are like two sides of one breath
Boy and Girl
Create love and fill the world.
The moon gives a soothing reflection
Of the brilliance of the sun
I love the Moon
I love the Sun
God gives me the ower
To love everyone.
Don't you know
That the sun is with you
Wherever you go
So you never need to be said
You never need to be blue
Just look up at the night
To the light of the moon
And know the sun is there
It gives light
24 hours a day
365 days a year.
You've got to let that light in your heart
And let your road be clear.
 
 
 
FLIGHT TO SAMADHI Spring 1987
 
Fly to Samadhi
And I'm waking as the One
Fly to Samadhi
And I do this just for fun
Got my life in an open state
Fly on, baby James
We're goin' to fly to Samadhi
And die...
Fly to Samadhi
And we'll surely live so free
Fly like the Maharaji
Rollin' like sea.
Holy Mother, Sweet Govinda
Speak to me of life
Let me know about the truth
In the infinite worlds of light...
We're going to...
Fly to Samadhi
And we're never coming back
Fight just like the warriors
And love is our attack.
Love-Ananda, Advahoota,
Open up the way
Let me realize the truth
In every word you say.
We're going to fly to Samadhi and die.
Fly to Samadhi,
God knows where I'm goin'
Cast my self into the Wind.
And Love is all I'm showin'
Rudi, Sri Rang advahoota,
Baba Muktananda,
Don't you cats wait up for me
Cause I'll be right behind ya.
We're goin' to fly to Samadhi
And we're never comin' back.
Fight just like the warriors
And Love is our attack.
Seventh Stage God-Realizers,
Devas of the Light
Fill our hearts with understanding.
Show us what is right.
 
 
 
FLIGHT TO SAMADHI
(continued)
 
There is a place within the heart
Where Love is all
And none apart from God,
Who is the all-pervading,
Super Radiant.
Perfect agent,
Cosmic stage of Love.
We're goin' to fly to Samadhi and die.
Fly to Samadhi and die
Heaven born in Samadhi...So high.
 
 
 
(YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE) DA-LOVE April 1987
 
I saw last night
My heart as bright light
Shining like sun
I saw everyone
Shining right through me
It did something to me
I knew right then
I never wanted this to end
But my work lies now before me
Master of the Heart, how I adore thee.
"Da-Love, Da-Love"
You are the light that shines above
Within, as, throughout
In you there is no doubt
"Da-Love, Da-Love"
Let me see the meaning of
One simple pure devotion
Come on set Da-Love...
In Motion...Motion (you can never leave Da-Love)
Motion...Emotion you can never leave...
Da-Love...
I know in my heart
You and I have never been apart
But contraction, my mind
Just made it a little hard to find
Now my attention
Permanently awakens to our true connection
Something unknown we feel
And the feeling is only real...We're singin'
"Da-Love, Da-Love"
You are the light that shines above
Within, as, throughout
In you there is no doubt
"Da-Love, Da-Love"
Let me see the meaning of
One simple pure devotion
Come on set Da-Love...
In Motion...Motion (you can never leave Da-Love)
Motion...Emotion you can never leave...
Da-Love...
 
MY ONLY LOVER April 1987
 
Peace and contentment;
Patience and courage;
Never again will I be discouraged.
May my eyes be opened wide
To see the love so deep inside.
Someday this place may I discover
With wisdom as my only lover.
Control and discipline;
Forbearance and timing;
Forever will my heart and mind
Be rhyming.
May my frightened heart be soothed by love
To feel the peace descending on me from above.
May the light within me rise and brighten
So I will never be this frightened.
I've got a love in my heart and it's rising;
Like the sun in the eastern sky
I see the light of my soul; and it's shining from me
And I don't know why.
Someday my feelings will go beyond all limits.
And I will be the universe and all that's in it.
Then my life will be opened wide
One with God who lives on high.
He will guide my soul to light.
And we will live forever in the bright.
I've got a light...light in my heart and it's rising;
Like the sun in the eastern sky.
I feel the love...love of my soul; it's hypnotizing me
And I don't know why.
 
 
INFINITE LOVE Late August 1987
 
She is more beautiful than God's own light.
Given to my world by some twist of reality.
Shining her Heart light
Clearer than skies can appear.
She is my love; she is infinite life.
A joy so great that I cannot stand the intensity
Crying for shadows
The light is so bright;
I can't bear.
Brighter than sunlight
She is my own destiny.
She has awakened
The Infinite Love in me
And I have never seen such love before.
Feelings have awakened, stirring...
The depth of my soul.
Without sadness and longing I hear you can never be whole
Love is a mystery
I know not what I will find there.
Days go by like flashes into the mists of memory
Gone forever now are those times that we've shared
But there is still this moment
Only infinite love can compare.
She is my soul life
She is my own destiny.
She has awakened
The Infinite Love in me.
And I have never seen such love...
I have never seen such love...
I have never seen...
Such love...
Before.
 
 
 
CAN YOU MAKE TIME FOR LOVE 8-22-1987
 
Love is like a river
Flowing to the sea
Time is all it takes
For us to reach there
And be free...
Can you make time
Oh, can you make time
Can you make time...for love.
Love is the life-giver
Of the human race
Think about it quietly
Time is all it takes
Your heart can be open
If you make time
Oh, can you make time
Oh, can you make time for love.
Time is like a tyrant
Changing all we know
But time can yield a harvest
If love is what we sow, we can reach, it's not too high.
Can you make time
Oh, can you make time
Can you make time
...for Love.
 
 
 
 
PRIOR TO THE MIND 8/87
 
Prior to the Mind
Is only Heart
And only Ecstasy
Prior to the Mind
There's no more pain
And no more suffering
There is only Love.
 
 
 
THERE IS NO "I" September 1987
 
There is only ocean
There is only sky
There are just the stars and moon
Never questioned why
There are only mountains
Eagles flying free
Winds across the desert sands
There is no "I" in me.
Morning breaks and dawn skies brighten
Sunlight falls on the open sea
Waves are crashing and life's in motion
All things flying free
Across the distance wheels are turning
Some timeless galaxy
Lights across the universe
There is no "I" in me.
My heart is just
a wound of love
That rises up
to be,
To feel
this life
without limitation
"A silent,
breathless deep."
Like the sunrise burning vibrant
As only of
eternity,
The Whole of Creation is simply One
There is no "I"
in me.
 
 
 
GOD TALK Autumn 1987
 
I am the bright white column of Light
I am the amber glow of Love
I am spiritual wings of Awareness
Spread out across the sky above.
I am the Transcendental Self of all selves
I am the Spirit in which you are born
I am Unlimited conscious Awareness
Everything is in my own Form.
It is true, you were born to become Me
I am the Self of which you are part
I am within, I pervade and surround you
Realizing your oneness with me is an art.
Daily practice will steady Attention
As the motives and motions of Mind Release
Gradually you come to rest in relation
Standing free as Love and Peace.
 
TOURMASTER V-ROY May 1989
(WHERE ONLY LIMITATIONS ARE IMAGINERY)
TAKE A JOURNEY TO THE HEART
OF MYSTERY AND EXCITEMENT
Dear Journier,
Welcome to the Heart of Mystery and Excitment. We
are quite pleased to guide you far beyond a distant sky. We know
that you are born to be so wild and free transcendent of
the mind. Come leave your mind behind and let your heart
lead the way to the crystal breaking dawn of a new spring
day. Tourmaster V-Roy has prepared an uplifting retreat
far away from the clamoring crowd; deep in the most silent
reaches of the very Heart, of the Giant Redwood forests.
Let your heart be consumed by love as you enjoy
the good company of your oldest and dearest friends and
then celebrate together the passing of another year of living.
When you finally reach your deluxe accommodations, you may also
relax and bask in the sun beside the sparkling effervescence
of the picturesque Mattole River and surrounding valley. Allow
the sunlight dancing across the water to penetrate your very
soul whereas to fill your heart with love and head...
with Light...
For your dining pleasure, Chef Vin-Royarty will prepare
delectable morsels of myriad interna1/4c~ional cuisine. We
Bar-B-Que only the finest of Tri-tip roasts and tantalizing
seafoods to your most critical acclaim. Chef Vin-Royarty-bobboy
has spent many long hours painstakingly perfecting his culinary
craft by frequenting many of the San Francisco Bay Area's finest
establishments of fine food: tasting, testing, making sure that
only the finest of the finest is served to our beloved. Come
share in the culinary delight and highly-advanced expertise of
this true culinary genius.
Tourmaster V-Roy invites you to evoke the very spirit of
the journey; to live again with the wonder of a child and
experience again the feelings that have been all but buried
in the heart beneath the worries of the mind and daily life.
Cast aside your burden and dance with Tourmaster V-Roy and
Friends as they climb aboard the Great Bird of Freedom; depart
ing to the Heart of forever's timeless grace. Tourmaster V-Roy
looks forward to seeing you somewhere between here and now in the
limitless infintiy that is our own.
V-Roy
P.S. Tourmaster V-Roy also guides many Humboldt Killer Ses rides
and Wisdom Smoke Retreats. See your travel agent for details.
 
 
 
STAND FREE June 1989
 
When I see your face
I know your grace
I feel the love I am
In you.
When I see your eyes
I feel the spirit
Start to rise and I`m
In you.
Stand free
Let the mind be washed away, now
Stand free
Know that you are love
Let the great bird fly
To the Divine Star
Of The Heart
Far beyond all fear.
When I breath your name
I feel a flame
In my heart burning bright
With you.
When I take your hand
I understand
And I am walking right
With you.
Stand free
Let the mind be washed away, now
Stand free
Know that you are love
Let the great bird fly
To the Divine Star
Of The Heart
Far beyond all fear.
DANCING ON THE RAZOR'S EDGE July 1989
 
Hotter than a fire
Burning like a flame
Only one desire
All you want is your cocaine.
You love to party but you're messing up your head
I hate to have to tell you
But, man, you're going to wind up dead.
You're on fire
Whoa, you're gonna die
I hate to have to tell you
But, man, you're gettin' way too high.
No limit
Did you hear what I said
Man, you're really flyin'
You're dancin' on the razor's edge.
Remember last summer
You were on a bummer
Then you started partyin'
Man, you really tied one on
You started drinkin'
I began thinkin'
Everything was sinkin'
And you were sleeping way too long
You're on fire
Whoa, you're gonna die
I have to have to tell you
But, man, you're gettin' way too high
No limit
Did you hear what you said?
Man, you're really flyin'
You're dancin' on the razor's edge.
You remember Eddie
He got into it heavy
Then he started shootin' up
Now the boy is dead and gone.
Don't be a junkie
Just to get a thrill
You'll buy yourself a monkey
And, man, I've seen that monkey kill.
You're on fire
Whoa, you're gonna die...
I hate to have to tell you...ect.
 
 
 
CHILD OF THE FUTURE August 1989
 
I'm a child of the future
You are from my past.
I'm a child of the future
And the future's comin' fast.
I'm a child of your children's, children's,
Children's, children's boy
And I hope you get my message
That the world is not a toy.
I'm a child of forgiveness
And you know you've done me wrong
'Cause the way that you've been livin'
Will affect me when you're gone.
All of your pollution is choking me today;
I'm a child of the future
Don't blow my world away.
 
I'm a child of the future
And my spirit never knew
The benefit of the rain forests
Were all destroyed by you.
The toxic waste you buried here
By now has rotted through.
Oh, I wish that you could understand
The damage that you do.
I'm a child of the spirit
Because here that's all we need
For we still suffer the lessons
Of the earth ruined by greed.
And my short life will end all too soon
So hear me when I say
I'm a child of the future
Don't blow my world away.
Don't blow...
my...
world...
Away...
 
THE HEART HAS TOLD ME SOMETHING September 1989
 
The Heart has told me something
That the Mind tends to forget
And I regret
I did not listen closely enough
To hear it.
Because the Heart it speaks in Whispers
And the Mind does not know Love.
It covers over feeling
Like clouds hide the stars
Above.
Because the Heart it speaks in Whispers
And the Mind does not know Love
It covers over rainbows
Like the fog when morning comes
But burns off in the sun
That's when we can know Love...
Because the Heart has told me something
And it won't let me forget,
"you must let go of the self
And grow to see Me
As 'I Am'."
Because the Heart is like a bright light
That's been covered by a shade
And the shade
I've come to realize is something
I have made.
For the Heart has told me something
And it won't let me forget
"The Mind has held you hostage
By the tendencies it's set.
That's why you cannot feel my Love."
Oh, Lord what have I done.
For the Heart is like a flower
That opens in the sun
But dies if it is trampled
By the Mind and everyone.
But if we learn to live with feeling
The Heart will then be strong
Beneath the cover of the Mind we make
It's been so all along.
 
 
 
THE HEART HAS TOLD ME SOMETHING
(continued)
 
Because the Heart it speaks in Whispers
It is Love that only feels
The fullest Realization of Love
Is a wound that never heals.
Because the Heart it speaks in Whispers
It is Love that only feels
"The fullest Realization of Love
Is a wound that never heals."
A wound that never heals.
The Heart is Love
And only Feels.
 
 
 
NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO September 1989
 
Can you feel my love?
There is no end to the love I feel for you
Whether or not you understand
My love is always here for you
Because I love you
And my love is true
No matter where you go
Or what you do
You know my love is right there
With you...
When I see your eyes
I see you're hypnotized by a world of doubt and fear
And I want so much for you to understand
That love is always here
I love you
And my love is real
And if you could be
Here in the heart with me
Love is the only feeling
We would feel.
Tomorrow Comes
Another day
You'll be gone, but love will stay
Each and every single day I'll wait
Because I love you
My love is true
I only love you
That's all I can do;
And when tomorrow comes and you have strayed
I can never go away
From love...
I am always here
Whether or not you know
And my wounded heart, it bleeds
For the love I give will never grow
Because you don't see me
Whoa, I love you
But you're not free
When will you turn
Your heart to me
I am love; the light for those who see.
(continued)
No Matter Where You Go September 1989
 
Tomorrow comes,
Another day;
You'll be gone and love will stay
Each and every single day I'll wait
Yeh, because I love you
My love is true.
I only love you!
That's all I can do
And when tomorrow comes
And you have strayed
I can never go betray your love
I can never go away from love
I can never go betray your love
I can never go
away
from
Love...
 
 
THE DOO-DOO SONG September 1989
 
Doo-Doo
Keeps the body runnin'
Doo-Doo
That's what I do.
Doo-Doo
Keeps the body hummin'
Everthing's gotta go through
That's why I take a doo-doo.
 
 
 
Untitled November 1989
 
I am You as You are; is only Myself as I am,
Who is only He, appearing to be an other.
He is who I am when "I am" is who the Heart is.
"I am" is who He is.
He is "I am", who is the Heart, who is That
Which I always only am.
"I am That" and "That" is this
And this "is" "That?"
So there is only One.
Ah-Ha.
 
GET THAT FEELING November 1989
 
When I get that feeling
Deep down in my bones
I got to get with it
Don't want to be alone
Because deep down in my feelings
I know that it ain't right
To be sitting home alone here
When it's Saturday, Saturday Night
Yeh, yeh...
I want to get that feeling
Like living in a dream
Put that heart in motion
No matter what may seem
But when I get to feelin' just right
Everything goes wrong
When I get to feelin' up tight
I know I can't be strong...So I kick it in gear.
Yeh, yeh...
I want to be livin'
The heart and only love
But everything keeps comin' at me
From around the world
I keep getting this feeling
What I need to know
Is only true love
And the way it only grows
I keep on dreamin'
I keep on thinking strong
About the way I want to live my life
I know I can't be wrong...
Yeh, yeh...
 
AMERICA'S MOST WANTED November 1989
 
Try to...Tr... Try to...
Try to get knowledge, you know it's not like that
You got to be born with it... So get
Strong...'Cause it's in your blood
Homeboy...Guts ain't enough
When you come in my neighborhood
Before you should
Homeboy...you betta' ask me if you could
This is Way Kool V
And I'm wielding my Gat
'Cause me and my set will show you where it's at
A.M.W. and they're down with me
It's America's Most Wanted
In the place to be
I'm rippin' out rhymes, kickin' out a good time
Set back, chill, 'cause I'm down for mine
I'm a young happening brotha' and I'm one of a kind
Cincinnati, cold rocker, don't be wastin' my time
We get down, we're ruthless...we're ready to test
'Cause East Coast brotha's won't settle for less
But I came here...to California
So I could rock this...up on ya'
I'm bustin' out my rhymes
And I'm blowin' yo' minds
'Cause cold hard mutha'
And I'm down for mine
And I'm hooked up with my background Deej
D.J.D., cold rockin' next to me
I'm bustin' out rhymes, he's kickin' the beat
No other M.C. in the world is so complete
So I tell ya'all who you're comin' to see, We're America's Most
Wanted.
This is the place to be...
 
America's Most Wanted
Is settin' the mood
Now we're runnin' the whole damn neighborhood
Ya' thought I didn't but I do
I got the crew
Homeboy's bustin' out a party for you
We're putting it down, rockin' all around town
Playin' all the clubs...Jammin' the sound
The party's super movin', they're beatin' down the door
Everybody's jumpin' and screaming for more
Bustin' out rhymes
Rakin in wealth Blastin' out tunes like nobody else
All the raps I write just keep on turning to Gold
Another record is bought; another record is sold
I'm on the one and I'm chillin'
My hits are climbin' up the chart
Just Like Spiderman up a building
I'm killin' the crowds that we play
A hundred thousand dollars is only just another day
Makin' money is all that I do well maybe
Cruise around town with a lady or two
Yo, I'm styling and everybody's smiling
Pick up the mic and, man, I start I start whilin'
The hours away rappin' the hits that we play
Man, I can't believe some of the shit that I say
I'm busting out rhymes that talk of times
Said I'm a cold hard motha' and I'm down for mine
I'm tellin' ya' all who you're comin' to see
We're America's Most Wanted
This is the place to be.
 
Untitled November 1989
 
My heart says Yes
My head says No
But I dive right in
And away I go
The mind says stop
The heart says feel
What the mind says
Ain't no big deal
I got a feelin'
I know is right
Whenevwer I love
I have the time of my life
I got that feeling
I know it's got to be real.
 
SEASONS OF THE MIND Spring 1990
 
Thoughts like autumn leaves
Fall away from the branches of my mind
The seasons pass in time
As I sit beside the fire
Throughout winter's graceful silence
Still so vulnerable
I am warmed
Safe within the atmosphere
Of love...
I'm free to feel now
In this instant, The Heart is shining clear
Like a child who's never known a fear
Only changes come and go
As I rest in this sweet embrace
Breathing in the life
I am healed
Dissolving in the aptitude
Of love...
And the seasons of the mind go by
The heart begins to dawn
Sweet Bliss dissolve myself into the sky
I have no need to be myself today
The seasons of the mind
Have blown the many-colored leaves of thought
Away...
Spring comes to the mind
Creative colors burst anew on every limb
Fresh ideas are born again
Yielding only mystery
Burning into summer's active play
Relaxing in the motion
I am adept
At soaring in the altitude
Of love...
Resolving all emotions
I am free
Burning through the Stratosphere
Of love.
 
 
HOW I WOULD LOVE TO SPEND THE DAY Late August 1990
 
I, whoa, I
Would give my heart and soul
To hold you
I, whoa, I
Would give up anything
To be your one
And only love
And to live inside
Your heart
Whoa, I... would love to spend the day
Walking right beside you
Feeling every word
You say.
When I was a child
I was free and
I was running wild
You were, too,
But we've lost a feeling
We once knew
Though we could strive
To bring each other's hearts again
Alive.
Whoa, I... would love to spend the day
Being the one who is the one
For whom all your love is saved.
Whoa, I...Whoa, I would love to spend the day
Whoa, I...Whoa, I...feeling all the love you've saved
And I...Whoa, I...would love to spend the day.
I, whoa,I
Would only love and understand
And I...
Want you to take hold of my hand
And we could fly
Oo into the romance
Of the night.
And I would love to touch your face
Wrapped within your warm and tender
Loving arms
Embrace.
 
TENDER CIRCLES Oct 6,1990
Walker Lake, Nev.
Moon, Sky
Lake, You and I
Two Hearts
Free
Two, Eyes
Reflect the light
Dancing on the waves
Shining through me.
Your heart is showing
Me in ways I never knew
All the love you hold for me is shining
From inside of you.
And I...
Could never be free
Without your love
To shine
On me.
Sky, Moon
Stars are strewn
Across the naked heavens
In the night.
Love...You...
I...and the Moon
Dancing Tender Circles
In the light.
Your love has brought me naked through the atmosphere
Of unresolved emotions that I used to fear
Now I can dance
And be free
Because your love
Is shining
On me.
Moon,Sky
Love,You and I
Two...Hearts
Free.
 
 
 
CHILD OF LIGHT Autumn 1990
 
New Year's Eve
In the afternoon
She felt the pain
Within her womb.
On New Year's Day
At 12:00 a.m.
A child of light
Came beamin' in.
She was a child of light
Child of light.
Oh, in the brand new day.
Child of Light; Child of Light
Oh, I want to be there.
Oh, let me hear you say...
"Let's make sweet love
In the afternoon.
Why don't we slip away
To our soft bedroom?"
Nine months from
The day we do
A Child of Light
Came beamin' through.
He was a Child of Light
Child of Light.
Oh, in the brand new day.
Child of Light; Child of Light
Oh, I want to be there.
Oh, Let me hear you say...
~Look at me,
I'm a Child of Light in the brand new day."
If it weren't for the love I'd hoped to find
My heart would never have learned to shine
And I would never have seen the face
of a Child of Light in the brand new days
Though the years of the child I know must end
We still have all of this love and time to spend
Like the beginning of dawn upon the earth
I do believe that she's going to give birth...
To a Child of Light, Child of Light
Oh, and a brand new day
Child of Light,Child of Light
Oh, Let me be there
Oh, Let me hear you say...
 
"Look at me,
I'm a Child of Light in the brand new day."
 
 
 
 
MULTI-GENERATIONAL MADNESS October 1990
My mom is such a booshkin
Who never understands
That she has a magic son
Who sees plans within plans.
Then he never saw her
And she never touched his face,
He claimed he never knew her
That she never came to share
The peaceful love that echoes still
From that tender heartfelt place
Within.
My mom is such a fruitloop
Who lives in mortal fear
And sees the world with pointed views
The wounds of love within her heart,
To me, are all too clear.
Multi-Generational madness.
Preposterous presumptions
Made on my behalf.
I could never understand
Why you and I could never laugh at times,
It seems, as if we wallow in a bath
Of unresolved emotions
And pain.
I thought that I could come to you
But then I never could
For I would risk my heart to bare
And be misunderstood.
And though I tried the words to say
Regain your velvet love
There where too much fear had grown
We could not rise above.
But then catharsis takes its toll
And collapsing broken hearted
Does love come through to heal
Our wound...
And place us where we started.
 
 
 
 
...AND STILL MY HEART November 13, 1990
Father, I have gone away
And ne'er shall be returning
For I have grown beyond the mind
And still my heart is burning.
There is no word that I could say
But the shine lights my eyes
Could tell you that I love you more
Than all the times I've cried.
The past does all but fade from sight
The heart stays with this moment
The light was born and abides in me
And heals what once was torment
I have no mind left to control
The Higher-Self has found me
And since the day I lost my mind
Only love surrounds me
 
MAYBE (THE VERY HEART OF LOVE) November 26, 1990
Maybe it's too hard to understand
Maybe it's too high for you to grasp
Maybe it's too wild for you to conceive of
But I believe love
Is who I am.
Maybe it's too vast for you to fathom
Maybe it's too crazy for you to care
Maybe it's too radical for you to take part
But I feel The Heart
In everyone.
I can feel you're too afraid to open yourself
To the intensities your heart holds very deep
But I'll be right beside you to tell you what's up
And I don't give up
That's why I'm free.
And you can realize My Love,
Feel into Me.
I am the bright white light
Of Perfect Understanding.
Maybe It's too intense for you to deal with
And maybe you'll gloss over it for now
Cause maybe you're not ready yet to hear it
For you still fear it
And you may never know
The Very Heart of Love.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Untitled December 1982
 
I'm making adjustments on my fountain
'Cause I'm tryin' to build a mountain
Out of paper.
Just give me a can of ink
And eight straight hours to think
An impression to be made upon the world
The ink expands upon a roller
Demands are met over and over
And I have done my good deed for the day
Then into my mind I quietly sail away
Forgetting all the pieces of my yesterdays.
 
WOUND OF LOVE LAMENT June 1987
 
Went to sleep so late last night
And woke before the dawn
To find my love had turned her head
And gone.
Pain can be my only friend
The time can seem so long
When love is dead
And gone.
Shame the devil, hide my face,
I cannot smile today
For my love so quickly
Flown away.
Love has shown me where I am
The wound of love reveals
The cost of love
Is real.
Well, okay, it's over now
I'll heal eventually
Mulling over words she said
To me.
The pain can be too much to bear
When love has grown and died
The wound is felt
Inside.
 
 
I FEEL ONLY LOVE October 1990
 
Fuck me hard until I come
Let me be your only one
Fuck me til I start to weep
Make me dress like Little Bo Peep.
Fuck me hard until you leave me
I know that you will deceive me
But for now just make believe me
Let me love you so completely.
But within this moment shattered
Have our seeds of love been scattered
As if nothing else has mattered
When you touch me in that place
I can sense a desparate yearning
Deep inside your heart that's burning
With love about which we are learning
As you bend to grab your ankles
I feel only love.
Fuck me hard until I come
Let me be your only one
Fuck me til I start to weep
Make me dress like Little Bo Peep
 
 
I came to Understand that I was gifted at a very early age. The
other children with whom I used to play would mercilessly tease
me, consistantly and cruelly so, in order to make themselves feel
that they were somehow better, tougher, faster, smarter or bigger
than I was. They would ridicule me in front of all my other peers
and make me cry. I would cry and everyone would laugh. Within
myself I found a place, a state that I would enter, one of
absolute peak frustration and violent childish rage. Then
realizing that acting out that state was against something in me
I decided to see through those blocked emotions and into a much
Greater Plane of Feeling. I would come to a point where what was
happening was just so beyond the scope of me, that my feelings
would just Ultra-Intensify and I would be lifted out of my
suffering into a place of perfect clarity and insight. It was as
if my ears would pop and something in me would begin to flow
again. I would begin seeing through the eyes of Understanding.
I saw my persecutors as children whose arrested emotional
development had not kept pace with that of their mental
escapades. They could look at me, but not put themselves in my
place. They could ridicule me, but not sense the fragility of my
breaking heart. I remember feeling like a stranger to the people
I had known all my life. An outsider in my own class. It was only
then that I could love them and feel sorry for them; for they had
gotten lost on the way to happiness. They had glossed over their
own sense of giftedness.

I was crying, but at the same instant I was overtaken by a
strange sense of ecstacy, and laserbeamed into an immaculate
state clarity where I began to understand that what was happening
had nothing to do with me. It was them. They were the ones
responsible for creating those preposterous situations of making
someone cry and then laughing at them. I just happened to be the
one that they knew they could get a reaction from. I had the good
fortune of being able to express what I was feeling. And some
people chose to feed on that in me (for whatever sordid purposes)
so that they could feel more secure in themselves.
It was o.k. I didn't mind anymore. They were demonstrating who
they were, and I was letting them. So when they would throw balls
in my face as hard as they could, or all gather round and taunt
me in unison or both, I would step back in my feelings and enter
what I now call "that place". That place is the well-spring of
feeling in my heart that allows me to stand back and observe
myself as a silent witness. Seeing through the eyes of
Understanding entailed being able to see the situation from every
point of view simultaneously, as well as seeing from the position
of overview.

A few years later I lost that place and joined my fellow
playmates in a state of arrested development.I became caught in a
false sense of self. I, like them, became too afraid of the
intensities of love to feel freely through my pain and lost my
sense of uniqueness or giftedness. The events of my life had
shattered the very foundation of who I thought I was. I was
experiencing the same kind of deep, deep emotional snarl that my
playmates must have once succumbed to, and I struggled with it
for years before I could once again see through the eyes of
Understanding.
It wasn't until I began to write music that I again found my
inner sense of tenderness and joy. And it wasn't until I had
begun to find out about loving and losing that I began to write
music. The intensity of love had brought me back full-circle,
through the events of my life, to itself. Back to the wellspring
of feeling in my heart where I now could take refuge from the
world and its pain by expressing what I was feeling onto paper. I
would cast myself totally upon the laserbeams of love where shone
from that place and dissolve my heart into the soothing echoes of
the night. It was only through this choice, this path, that I
could be able to base the future of my emotional growth upon
fertile soil; the choice made it possible for the necessary
healing to begin to take place. It was a path that I followed
with deep sincerity and devotion until it led me to immerse
myself even deeper still into the radiant mysteries of love and
of relationship itself.
Again I began to confront deeper and deeper levels of
emotional wreckage within my heart and time and time again I
would enter still into that place. I would cast my heart as far
as humanly possible onto the Greater Plane of Feeling and express
what I was going through onto paper with a pen. It became the
path with a heart for me and when life's intensities would come
to overwhelm me, I would pour myself into the path and continue
to do so until I was one with it and nothing could hurt me
anymore, until I was healed of my pain.

The work you have before you is an expression of one man's
presence in that place, a poetic diary if you will. Every time I
entered into that place, I would return from it a little wiser
and a poem or a song or two richer. That place was very gracious
to me, and soon I had stacks and stacks of writings and songs
that I didn't know what to do with... so I laid them safely in a
box. Over the years the box got fuller and fuller until it began
to overflow onto the floor and many pages were getting lost. The
box contained years and years of my deepest feelings and it held
within it the recorded history of my growth into who I am.
It was then that I realized that this was my Lovebox.